Milex- Oneshots

Chapter 2: How Alex gets his boons back

(Two days ago miles threw up Alex, so he's alive again)

Alex turner walked in 'UP UP IN MY BUTT PUT IT IN MY BUTT PUT IT UP UP IN MY BUTT PUT IT IN MY BUTT' he sang and Miles Kane was like 'okay m8' and then shoved what he held in his hands up Alex's ass. Unfortunately Alex ended up in the hospital because a lamp was not made to fit inside the body of a Brit. 'Ill bash ye fookin head in mate' Alex sang, and miles replied 'proper fooked in the ass ain't ya' and took the boons (Alex's buttcheeks) and threw them out the window. FOOOOK someone screamed from outside. The agony in the sound moved Alex to tears. 'Mate who'd you drop my boons on' he cried heavily. I looked outside to see where the boons landed and there was a leprecha- oops I meant Ed Sheehan. 'The fook you looking at you bloody git' the ginger shouted. The boons fell on his eyes and he really couldn't see but felt my eyes on him anyway. What are you doing here in Sheffield Ed? And why don't you write songs what are you adeleing? 'SHADDUP STOOPID BLOKE' Ed Sheeran screamed at miles and managed to get the boons off his face. He looked up- sorry I meant gazed up at miles and saw a beautiful specimen. He climbed up the hospital wall with his purple talons and climbed into the window. I grabbed miles by the hair (haha miles is bald) and kissed him with the heat of a thousand suns. Unfortunately this melted the dude so I toned down the heat and went over to Alex. We shared one look and instead of kissing ed like I thought he was gonna do. Alex grabbed his boons back and shoved them in Ed's face. 'YOU BLOODY BUGGER YOU!' and forced ed Sheeran to lick his boons so hard. There was no air between the cheeks where my face was stuffed and the last thing I saw was Alex's greasy hair dripping greasy grease between the boons. Goddammit he produces lube as a bodily fluid? Sheeran wondered before finally suffocated. Alex scoops up the glob of Brit goo on the floor onto his hair. 'I know am wearing my husband' he says to the audience. Turner looked back into the camera and grinned. 'Larry is real' he whispers.

A/N idk why Ed Sheeran was in this but he's British so yeah it was either him or Adele but this crack is gay