JOSHLER

Uh, Tyler?

Sorry for the shitty writing...
Happy reading!-/

^^

I lie there in bed and stare at the celling. I was actually beginning to get over everything that happened in high school but ever since I met josh somethings not been right. I should be happy I met the drummer of House of heroes not annoyed. Like why do I think of him as cute? And as awful as it sounds, why does Jenna not turn me on as much anymore? I'm scared. And confused.
Wow. Tyler Joseph, gay? Since when? That's something to get used to. I wish I could just leave this earth, I wish I was never here in the first place, then every thing would be easier. A tear runs down my cheek as I stare into the darkness of my room.

More tears leave my eyes as I hear a violent bussing sound coming from my draws. I open my bed side table draw and pull out my phone. I wipe away my tears and answer my phone to the unknown number
"Hello?" Right away I know the voice. Of course it would be Josh, of course.
"Josh? How did you get my number?"
"Oh Jenna gave it to me, are you ok? You sound sad." He asks
"Oh, um no I'm just tired, it is like 2 in the morning"  I laugh unconvincingly and try to clear my throat without him hearing
"Uh anyway I was wondering, are you free tomorrow?" He asks in an embarrassed tone
"I'm- uh, yeah" I say and my eyes widen "why?"
"Meet me at Starbucks at ten" he says and quickly hangs up.
My tears dry up and I smile at my phone.

"Hey" I say to Josh as he walks towards me
"So..." I stand awkwardly in the Starbucks que "we sitting in or taking out?"
"We might as well stay in" he says
"So remind me," I say "why are we here here again?" God that was to much wasn't it? I shouldn't have said anything. Im so awkward god help.
"Oh I just wanted to get to know you" he says "that's all"
"Me? Why me?" I question
"Well you'd think popstars have all the friends in the world" he says "but it's hard to find a genuine friend that isn't just a fan, so I take every opportunity I can get" he jokes

"2 vanilla lattes please" he says to the young woman behind the counter
"How did you know?" I ask. Vanilla lattes have always been my favorite.
"Just a guess" josh winks at me and I turn crimson

We sit down at a small table in the window and sip at our lattes.
"So" Josh says "tell me, what do you do? You in collage?"
"Nah" I say and look down "I dropped out last year, it wasn't really my thing"
"So what is your thing?"
"Basketball, I also write songs from time to time but no one ever listens to them"
"I'd like to listen to them sometime" he says and gives me a sweet smile
"Yeah well they're not really very good. it's just me and my ukulele, which is literally the shittiest instrument ever but I guess it kinda works"
"Dude, we should play together sometime!" He says enthusiastically "like me on the drums and you can play the uke and sing"
"I'd like that" I say and smile at him "I'd like that a lot"

We finish our lattes and get up to leave. It's nearly winter now so it's pouring it down with rain.
"Man, I should go" Josh says in a sorry tone
"Yeah me to, you walking home?"
"Yeah, walk with me?" He pouts
"Sure thing!" I say in a high pitched voice
Shit, Josh looks so sexy walking in the rain...

"-Tyler?" Josh finished his blur of words as we reach his apartment and we both step under his porch for shelter "what are you thinking about?"
I turn to face Josh. He has a million little water droplets running down his face and breaths heavily into the cold air
"I don't know..." I half whisper
We state at each other for what feels like centuries
"You know, I broke up with Luke" he says and looks down
"You did?" I say "I mean - um, yeah sorry to hear that"
I was cut off my a wet hand on my cheek and joshes soft lips on mine. A zillion sparks fly through me as he pulls away quickly I just fucking kissed fucking Josh dun - the Josh dun
"Sorry" he says and looks me in the eyes "that was to much wasn't it? It's just you were standing there and you looked so-" I cut him of with my exited Giggling "seriously man it's fine"
"But your dating Jenna"
"Yeah... I guess"
"Tyler, are you even gay?"
"To be honest, I don't really know"I felt my the out closing up and my eyes starting to burn "I don't know what I am- maybe I'm bi" I can't hold it in, a tear forms on my cheek and Josh whipped it away with his hands
"Hey it's ok, come inside and let's talk"

We step inside his warm apartment and he sits me down on the couch.
"So, how do you feel about it?"
"Huh?" I ask Josh, still crying softly
"Being gay- or bi, do you want to be gay?"
I let out a sob and shake my head slowly.
"Tyler..." He says and pulls me into a gentle hug. I continue sobbing and he doesn't let go of me "it's ok, just let it all out. I swear no one else I know cries on me and trusts me like you do, I'm honored"
I giggle, my tears clearing g up a bit
"I know what you need" he says and gets up off the couch and walks towards the TV "you any good at Mario cart?"
I nod my head and wipe away my tears "you bet"