But I Do Love Him

Chapter 15~ The Reaping

Today, the day I have been dreading for months, is finally here. The Reaping will be held today.

I slowly get out of bed in my home. I promised Prim I would stay here tonight with her since she wanted me to spend time with her. I woke from nightmares last night of me back in the games. Me killing other tributes to save my life. It was all so terrible.

I take a long shower making sure to cleanse thoroughly. I wash my hair and then get out. I find clothes to put on. But before I put them on, I stand in front of the mirror with just under clothes on.

My eyes travel down to my stomach which as enlarged a lot. Now I am six months and feel bigger than ever.

I don't see how I can make it out alive. I have to worry about the baby which will be hard enough. The capitol found out I was pregnant a little while after I told Effie. Supposedly when she found out about me going back into the games, she tried to help. She went and told people to try to get them to stop the games. But, it didn't work. The games are still happening.

I pull my clothes on and braid my hair into a braid down my back.

" Katniss?" my mother calls me. I turn around to see her standing in the doorway. There is a moment where we just stare into each others eyes. " The peacekeepers are here," she breaks the silence. I just nod and attempt to walk past her but she stops me. " Katniss," is all she whispers before she wraps her arms around me. It caught me by surprise but I hug her back. I know it is painful for her to watch me go back into the games.

" Please don't cry, mom," I beg her. We pull away and I can see she is holding back tears. Behind her, I see Prim holding Buttercup. She has a huge frown on her face. I walk past my mother and give Prim a hug.

" It's gonna be okay," I try to reassure her. The cat begins to hiss and growl and for the first time I see Prim drop him down to the ground without caring. Without him in her arms, she can hug me tight.

From downstairs I can hear the door open and someone yell " Lets go!" in a voice that tells me to hurry up. I give Prim a kiss on her head and then let go.

I walk down the stairs of my home and make my way outside to where peacekeepers are waiting. They grab me by the arm and they lead me to the justice building where the reaping will take place. I look at Peeta who looks upset but then he gives me a reassuring nod.

  When we get to the justice building I stand on the left side of the stage and Peeta and Haymitch stand on the right. The people of District 12 begin to fill the empty space where the audience is suppose to stand. In the crowd, I see my mother and Prim walking to the front of the crowd.

This is it. Most likely the last time I will be in twelve. The last time I will see my family. I never expected this to happen but I have to do whatever the capitol wants.

At the corner of my eye, I see Gale. He has a stern expression on his face as he walks up to my mother and Prim. He stands behind them and then looks up at me. I watch his lips move as he mouths its okay.

I am surprised that he does this, especially after not talking for a while. I think he says this to show that he will still take care of my family once I am gone. He knows that's what I would have wanted him to do.

My train of thought is disturbed when I hear Effie beginning to speak. I didn't even see her walk up here. She skips the beginning of the speech that she did last year knowing that getting to the point will be the best idea.

" So, as usual, ladies first," she says and walks over to the glass bowl holding one card. With one name. One person. Me, of course. I don't see the point in having it for me. We all know that I am the only female victor from twelve and will have to go back into the games.

I turn my head and look at Effie who is struggling to hold tears back. She has really changed. Last year, I saw no emotion, just excitement when it came to the Reaping. But now, as I see her eyes filling with water, I know she feels bad that she couldn't do anything to help. Sending me back into the games after just going last year is obviously painful for her. Especially since we know each other fairly well now.

" So!" she starts trying to hide her shaky voice. " The female tribute from District 12; Katniss Everdeen." I feel my legs move closer to Effie. " And now, the men." She walks over to the bowl with two cards in it. One for Peeta and the other for Haymitch.

All I can do is hope that Haymitch won't be chosen. If he is, Peeta will just volunteer in his place to go into the arena with me. That's exactly what I don't want. It only makes keeping him alive much harder.

" And the male tribute from District 12; Haymitch Aber-" Peeta cuts Effie off.

" I volunteer as tribute," he immediately exclaims. My tears begin to fall now because this is exactly what I didn't want. I see Haymitch trying to stop Peeta but Peeta refuses. I know he won't let this go.

Without anything else begin said, I feels someone grab my shoulder and begin to pull me back hard. I turn around and see peacekeepers. Two peacekeepers pull me back but I try to fight my way out of their grip.

" Stop fighting me!" the peacekeeper yells at me but I don't listen. I never really got to say goodbye to Gale. And they are taking me back to the train already.

" I have to say goodbye," I tell him. He just shakes his head and continues to pull me down to where the train is. I look back at my family one more time, but I also see everyone holding up the three fingers on their left hand. This makes even more tears fall because I don't know what the peacekeepers will do to them.

  He pushes me, Peeta, Haymitch and Effie in the train and the door closes, leaving me in a state of confusion and anger.