When I woke up the next morning, Zayn was surprisingly gone. I had no idea where he was or how he even managed to let himself out, but by the time I got downstairs into the kitchen and Katherine was there making coffee, I connected the dots myself.
"Did Zayn leave?" I asked her as I sat down at the table, not feeling hungry. Well, that was a lie. I was really hungry but I knew I couldn't eat. I was just seven kilos away from my goal.
"Yeah he woke up before you did so I let him out."
"Oh. Okay. Was he mad?"
"He was in a bad mood, why? Did you do something to him?"
"Um...I don't think so? Nevermind. He'll get over it."
"Don't you want anything to eat?" she asked me when she saw that I was about to get up and leave the kitchen.
"Not really hungry right now."
"Oh...wait. Listen. About last night."
"Hey. It's fine alright? Don't worry about it."
"Sorry for not telling you earlier. I guess I just wasn't comfortable enough with myself yet."
"I understand." I said and smiled, before I left the kitchen to go up to my room. I wasn't really in the mood at the moment to go out with Luke and his brother, but I'd promised him so I kind of had to.
I did some homework until noon, and when I couldn't take the hunger anymore, I decided to get up from my desk and actually go downstairs for lunch.
As soon as I got up from the chair though, I felt a bit dizzy and fell on the ground, nearly hitting my head.
"Fuck." I cursed as I sat up. It was the first time in a long time that I actually fainted from lack of nutrition, and to be quite frank, I was a bit scared. What if I had been in class?
When I got downstairs, my family was already at the table, eating soup and talking about college.
"Finally decided to join us?" my dad asked as I sat down on my chair and grabbed a spoon.
"You came out of your cave?" my mother continues sarcastically.
"And that's why I don't like eating with you lot." I mumbled as I began eating quite animalistic.
Katherine shot me a sad look and I smiled back at her, continuing to eat. I didn't get involved in their discussion, mainly because I was too hungry to actually talk, and because I hated their views on how college life should be.
Once we were finished with the second course, I washed the dishes due to my mother's demands, and then went back upstairs to blog a little.
By the time the clock turned seven, I was getting dressed in the bathroom, right after I purged everything I'd eaten that day just a few minutes earlier.
I dressed up in a jean skirt, a crop top, some cross tights and my blue Vans, before I put on my jacket and texted Luke that I was ready for him to come and pick me up.
As I checked my hair in the mirror downstairs, my mom started interrogating me about where I was going and with whom. As soon as she heard Luke's name her face spread out in a giant smile and she started praising him like he was the best human being on earth.
I had no idea why she always idolized him; I guess it was just one of her typical cougar outbursts, where she'd compliment every single good-looking guy she knew.
Luke stopped the car in front of my house. It was a black Toyota, the one his father owned, and I could see Sean in the back with Kylie, smiling at me.
"I'll be back tomorrow, you don't have to come pick me up."
"Alright. Your father and I are leaving for a party anyway, and Katherine's going at a friends', so take your keys with you."
"Thanks." I smiled and she nodded, before I took the keys, put it in the pocket of my jacket, and finally left the house.
Luke was tapping his fingers against the steering wheel in the rhythm of the David Guetta song that was playing on the radio when I got in the car.
"Hi." I greeted and he smiled, leaning over to kiss me before actually greeting me.
"Hey babe."
Sean and Kylie also greeted me, and then Kylie began talking about some makeup he saw at Mac, and I zoned out, staring right ahead after I put my seatbelt on.
Their parents' lodge was about an hour away from my house, which wasn't really that convenient but still.
The ride there was okay; Kylie was occasionally making idle chat with me, Luke would lean over and kiss my cheek from time to time, and even Sean asked me a couple of questions about myself.
If I didn't know better, I'd have said they're up to something. But I brushed off the feeling as I continued chatting with Kylie, Sean, and Luke. We got there soon enough, and I wasn't even surprised to see that the lodge was huge.
It was built out of wood and it had a giant back yard with a small playground, a gazebo, and a grill. I knew we wouldn't be using any of it though, because it was really cold outside and they probably wanted to drink and get high anyway.
The inside was luxurious; the small hallway led either to the stairs or the living room, which then led to the kitchen.
I took off my jacket and hung it up by the door, before I followed them over to the living room. I sat down on a loveseat next to Luke, who put his arm around me.
Kylie took a seat on the couch across from us, while Sean walked to the cupboards and opened them.
"Who wants to do some shots?" he asked as he took out a bottle of Jägermeister and four shot glasses.
"Me!" Kylie said excited and Luke also agreed.
"Rey?"
"Um...I'm not really in the mood for it."
"Of course you are babe! Come on, just a shot." Luke said and pouted at me.
I sighed. "Ugh, fine. Just one."
"And a joint."
"I can't drink and also smoke weed. I'll get sick."
"I've done it before, you'll be alright." Kylie assured me and winked, just as Sean came over and kneeled down at the table to pour a round of four shots. I hated Jäger with a passion, but what was I supposed to do?
"Alright."
Sean gave each one of us our shots, before he sat down right by the table and held up his glass.
"To a night full of surprises." He said cryptically before he winked at Luke.
"Cheers." Luke added, and then all of us downed the shots.
My throat burned, and I felt like I was about to throw up since my stomach had just been emptied two hours ago. Sean's face didn't even flinch as he downed another right after, then sat down next to his girlfriend.
"How about we play truth or dare?" Kylie suggested excited, a bit later, when everyone had three shots (Sean had five), and Luke was just lighting up a joint that I wanted no part in.
Sean took a drag and let it out in Kylie's face, before agreeing with her idea.
"Mmm. This is really good bro." Sean told Luke, who smirked. "Best one you've ever given me."
"'s from here. Sold one hundred for ninety."
"Is he talking about the weed?" I asked incredulously.
Luke nodded at me, placing his hand on my thigh.
"Are you a drug dealer?"
"Yeah babe."
"Wait, she didn't know?" Sean asked, pointing between us.
"She does now. Is that problem?"
"Not...no. I just didn't know 's all."
"Do you want to see?"
"See what?"
"Our basement."
Sean smirked at that, and Kylie rolled her eyes.
"What's in it?"
"Our weed. But you won't rat us out to the police, right?"
"Right. Of course not." I assured him.
"Let's go then!"
"Will we play truth or dare after that then?" Kylie slurred, already dizzy from the weed and the alcohol.
My head was pounding but I wasn't dizzy, nor was I about to throw up, which was really weird because I was a lightweight.
They opened a door from under the stairs that led to their basement. Once Sean turned on the light, he revealed a room filled with marijuana that was probably higher than I was. No pun intended.
"Holy shit." I said when I saw everything. There were bright neons on the ceiling and the temperature wasn't cold, nor hot.
"I assume your parents don't know about this."
"They don't." Luke laughed, brushing his hand over a couple of leafs. "They don't have a key to the basement and they don't even come here often. We mainly use this lodge for parties and such."
"Oh. Cool."
"So you don't have a problem with this?" he asked me once we were back upstairs into the living room.
"Why would I have a problem with it? As long as you're careful it's okay."
Luke smiled and leaned over to kiss me.
The truth or dare idea had been long forgotten when Sean started snogging Kylie into the couch. Luke turned his head to look at me for a moment, before he leaned over and we started kissing too.
I didn't mind it at first, not even when he pushed me on my back against the armrest, but the moment he slipped his hand under my dress, I stopped him.
"What are you doing?" I asked against his lips, turning my head to look at Sean and Kylie, who were now staring at us.
"Don't you think you should lose your virginity before you turn eighteen?" he asked and I felt my heart clenching.
"Yeah, but definitely not here."
"Then let's go upstairs."
"Is this why you brought me here?"
He sighed.
"Excuse me. I have to go the bathroom."
"Upstairs, first on the left." He mumbled and I sat up before I rushed upstairs, trying to reach the bathroom before my makeup would become a mess.
I stared at myself in the mirror for a while, before I washed my hands and left the bathroom. I ran into Sean at the top of the stairs.
"Are you mad?" he asked, and I could smell the alcohol on his breath from where I was standing.
"Just a bit."
"He's an asshole, don't mind him."
"It's hard no to though."
"Let me tell you a secret." He whispered, and I stepped closer so he could lean down and whisper in my ear.
"I really like you Rey."
I immediately stepped back in horror.
"You're fucked up." I mumbled. "Your girlfriend is right downstairs."
"So? She's about to pass out."
"I'm not going to have sex with you. Your brother is my boyfriend and-"
He didn't let me finish because he pressed his lips to mine quite forcefully. I pushed him away but he kept me close with a tight grip on my hips.
"Let me go Sean."
"No." he mumbled and started kissing my neck.
I kneed him in the groin and he let out a high-pitched scream as he fell to the floor on his knees.
"Idiot." I told him and ran downstairs, grabbing my jacket from the hanger in the process.
"I want to go home." I told Luke, who was leaning back against the couch with his eyes closed.
He opened them and looked at me quite pissed off.
"Then leave."
"But you're driving."
"If you want to leave, then you're going to walk home on your own."
"Fine. Fuck you. We're over."
He flipped me off and I couldn't believe this was how we would end things. After over three months, this is how he chose to end things. With a middle finger. Great.
I flipped him off right back, before I turned around and walked out of the house, making sure to slam the door so hard his basement pot breaks.
I walked down the long driveway until I reached the main road. Walking through snow with Vans wasn't my brightest idea, so soon enough I had to stop because it was way too cold and there was no way I could walk fifty kilometers back to my house by foot in the middle of the night.
I sighed and sat down on a giant rock a by the side of the deserted road. I took my phone out after I zipped my jacket all the way up, although it didn't do me much good, since my head wasn't covered and my ears were freezing. The fact that I was dizzy from the alcohol and the weed didn't help me at all.
It was moments like these that I wanted to die. Everything was hurting, from my head to my heart and my toes that were about to fall off.
I called Jake first, and once he answered, he let me know that he was with his family in Bradford at his grandma's house for Christmas, which meant that neither him nor Niall could come pick me up.
I then called Katherine, who didn't pick up, so she was probably at Perrie's either sleeping or having fun.
Louis picked up on the third ring, and he told me that he was babysitting his sisters since his mother was out on a date.
I didn't call Sophia because I knew she was over at Liam's before he had to leave for Wolverhampton tomorrow (practically today), and I didn't call Harry either because he didn't have his drivers license yet.
I thought about calling my parents, but they were gone to that party so I didn't bother. Christ definitely wouldn't move his ass all the way over here, since he was probably already drunker than I was.
As I scrolled down through my recent contacts, I stopped when I saw Zayn's name. I decided to click on it and call him, even though he was probably still mad at me. I knew that he would be either at a club or at home; either way, chances were that he was already drunk or hooking up with someone. Regardless, he probably wouldn't drive all the way up here.
But he was my last resort. It was either him, stay out here until morning and freeze to death, or go back inside.
So I called him. It rung until it took me to voicemail so I hung up. Three minutes later I tried again, again, and again. After four calls, I sent him a message.
Rey: can you please pick up the phone
There was no response for five minutes, so I typed another one, knowing that I was probably annoying him if he was indeed seeing these messages and calls.
Rey: can you come pick me up?
Rey: please I need you
I stared at the phone for another two minutes, and I was pretty sure my limbs were frozen in place. Just as I was about to get up and walk back to the house, my phone lit up. My heart started beating faster when I saw that it was Zayn calling.
"Hello?" I said as soon as I answered the call.
"Where are you?" he asked in a stern voice, and I could hear music in the background, so he was probably at a club.
"Uh...I'm not sure. Luke parents' lodge if you know-"
"I'll be there in forty."
And then he hung up. I sighed and pressed my hands together, before I clenched my knees shut and waited for him.
I was smoking my last cigarette when a black Range Rover (one of the cars I saw in Zayn's driveway) stopped a few meters away from me. I looked at my clock, to see that it was a bit past one in the morning, and it also started snowing. Great.
I didn't say anything as Zayn got out of the car and walked over to me. He was wearing black skinny jeans, a fluffy sweater, with what looked like a button-up shirt underneath it.
"Hi." I said awkwardly, and he sat down next to me.
"Are you cold?"
"A bit."
"Your nose is red."
"Okay, a bit more."
Zayn didn't say anything else; he just took off his sweater and handed it to me. I thanked him and took off my jacket, pulled the sweater on, and then put my jacket back on.
"So what happened?" he asked.
"Can we talk in the car please? I'm literally a few seconds away from dying of hypothermia."
"Alright."
We got up and he walked over to the driver's side as I got into the passengers seat. My entire body felt as if I were on fire because it was really warm in the car; even the seats were heated.
He started driving and I spent the first fifteen minutes of it telling him what happened and that Luke and I were done for good.
"He's a fucking wanker." Zayn told me.
"I know. I can't believe I didn't realize it sooner."
"Aren't you like, sad? That you guys broke up."
"Not really. I don't think I ever loved him so."
"Are you hungry?" he asked, completely changing the subject. "You could use some food, I can tell you're going to have a hangover in the morning."
"Well I drank like three or four shots and smoked weed on an empty stomach."
He frowned. "Empty stomach?"
I shrugged, not answering him.
"Do you want McDonald's or KFC?"
"Ugh. McDonald's I guess." I told him and he nodded, telling me that he'd stop at the first McDonald's drive thru.
"So where were you?" I asked after a few minutes of silence. "You're dressed quite fancy."
"My parents held a Christmas charity gala."
"Oh. Sorry for um, you know, interrupting-"
"It's fine. It wasn't that interesting anyway. I could've gone home with a girl who sucked me off in the bathroom though."
I looked at him and he shrugged.
"Thank you for coming to pick me up regardless of what your dick wanted."
He nodded and slowed the car down to get in line at a drive thru.
"What do you want?"
"Happy meal with McNuggets please."
"Alright." He said, not even snorting at my childish order like Luke did a few days earlier when we went to McDonald's after school.
"A Happy Meal with McNuggets, a Big Mac, large fries, large coke, and a ketchup."
Two minutes later our order was ready and Zayn stopped in the parking lot so we could eat.
"So I'm driving you home?" he asked once we were done eating and he began driving again.
"Um...you could but I think my parents will be back soon. And my mom will ask a lot of questions. I don't know. I guess you could."
"Do you want to come back to mine?"
"Do you want me to?"
"Why else would I ask?"
I shrugged. "I don't know. I thought you were still mad at me."
"I wasn't mad."
"Then what were you?"
"Hurt."
I bit my lip and didn't say anything else for the rest of the ride.
To my surprise, he stopped at in front of a hotel, just a few blocks from the town center.
"What are we doing here?"
"I came with my parents. They're not going to take a taxi so we have to walk back to my house. It's a ten minute walk, don't worry."
"It's fine."
We got out of the car and he gave it to the valet, before he walked across the street. I followed him quickly, and soon enough got in pace with him. He went under a bridge where he lit up a cigarette and then started walking again, this time through the same tunnel I wanted to walk him home through.
"I'm sorry for being a bitch yesterday. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."
"I'm over it. Don't worry."
"I wasn't thinking when I said that. And it shouldn't-"
"Stop apologizing, I already told you I was okay."
"But you're not! You're not talking to me unless I ask you something or if it's completely necessary that you do!"
"So what? Do you want me to give you undivided attention or something?"
"Yes!"
"Why?" he asked, stopping to look at me properly. "Why the fuck do you care so much if I give you attention or not?"
"Because I care! You're my friend and I want us to get along well! So stop being so stubborn all the time!" I yelled at him, getting angry, and pushing him towards the wall. He hit the wall with his back but it didn't hurt him as much as it pissed him off.
"Don't ever push me again." He warned and cupped my face, making sure the cigarette didn't burn my cheek.
"Or what?"
He sighed and I looked into his eyes for a second before I leaned up on my tiptoes and pressed our lips together. We kissed for a while, until I pulled away because I was out of breath and he took a drag from his cigarette.
I closed my eyes and leaned into him, hugging his waist as I buried my face into his chest. He placed his arm around my shoulders and continued smoking.
We stayed like that for a couple of minutes, in pure silence, until I couldn't suppress a long yawn so he suggested we headed back to his house.
We got there at half past two, and there was no one home, so Zayn gave me a glass of water and asked me to follow him upstairs.
"Are your siblings home?"
"Yeah I think so. Think the babysitter is in Eddie's room. I'm gonna go and let her go home."
I nodded and took off my tights as soon as he exited his bedroom. I went over to his drawers and chose a large white t-shirt that had PUNK written on it and pulled it over my head once I discarded my crop top.
He returned a few minutes later and went to change into his bathroom. When he came out, I was already in the bed, deleting Luke from my contacts.
Just as he got into the bed, there was a knock on the door and Zayn sighed.
"Yes?"
"I don't feel good Z."
"What hurts?"
"My tummy."
"Fuck. Okay. C'mere."
Eddie padded over to him and kneeled up on the bed next to Zayn, who pressed his palm against Eddie's forehead.
"'m gonna take your temperature. Wait here with Rey, yeah?"
Eddie nodded and Zayn got up from the bed before he left the room. He returned soon enough, and it turned out that Eddie had a forty-degree fever.
"We gotta take him to the hospital."
"Okay."
"Go wake up Lily, I'm getting him dressed."
I nodded and got up from the bed, before I went to wake up his sister.
Fifteen minutes later we were already on our way to the hospital, and Zayn was really stressed out. He called his mother to let her know what was going on, before he parked in front of the hospital and took Eddie into his arms.
He filled out a form at the reception while a doctor took him in for an examination.
"Is he going to be okay?" Lily asked me after Zayn followed the doctor.
"Yeah. He has a fever, he'll be alright."
"I hope so." She said and hugged me tightly.
After a while, Zayn came out and told me that he was fine but he'll have to spend the night in the hospital so he could be monitored.
"My mom will be here soon-oh there she is."
I turned my head and saw Mr. and Mrs. Malik quickly walking towards us, dressed in a suit and a beautiful, expensive-looking dress.
"Is he okay? Where is he?"
"He's in room thirty-four in the pediatric ward."
"Thank you love. Go home and get some rest." Mrs. Malik told him, and Zayn didn't wait for her to kiss him on the cheek before he already started walking towards the exit.
He put Lily to sleep when we got back to his house, and my eyes were already falling into my mouth from how tired I was.
Zayn decided to go out on his balcony and smoke one last cigarette before going to sleep, so I joined him.
"Today was a shit day." I told him and pouted as he let the smoke out.
"Yeah."
"What are you doing for Christmas?"
"Why?"
"Because I usually invite some friends over and we exchange gifts."
"And you want me to come?"
"Yeah."
"You should probably stay away from me." He said, staring at me through the thick smoke that came out of his mouth as he spoke.
"And what if I don't want to?"
"Trust me, you do."
"Why is that?"
"Because I'm the guy your parents warned you about when you were little."
