Sephtis

30. Understanding.

The sun is still yet to fully awaken as I lay on the stone slab near the den, its rays winking at me through the trees. Nearby Zahar is curled in a ball, sleeping with her nose hidden in her fur. Akar and Orbah are dozing beside her, but they are hungry and restless. Their noses twitch and Akar chews on something in his dreams. My heart is full of love as I gaze upon them.

A shadow is cast over me, and I glance up to see Amitz. His tongue is lolling as he smirks at me, before laying down beside me with a grunt. He seems to have cast aside our differences and now treats me as an equal, letting me touch and feed the others without baring his teeth, he is yet to bite me again. He is a curious beast, but I still do not trust him enough to be truly alone with him.

I sometimes think of those other wolves, but now they hold no power over me, have no power to frighten me. They belong to a treacherous world which I shall never be forced to enter again.

The birds are waking, and I enjoy their songs more than I enjoyed the sounds of women stirring breakfast grains and complaining of their children. Three moons have come and gone since I last heard those sounds. With the sunrise, life in the clearing changes. The night time hunters are home at last, and the hares and chipmunks appear. New dramas unfold; other beings celebrate their survival, and search for leaves, roots and nuts.

But not all the hunters are home. Zahar gets up, stretching before she goes to stand at the top of the stone stairs, facing the trees. She stares intently, anxious, for Kavah is yet to return from his hunt. Soon afterwards we hear a howl, a long howl that ends with a high pitch. It comes from far away, but I recognize Kavah's voice. Zahar's head is raised, her body straining, her ears pricked to the direction of the sound. I too am alert, all my being strained towards his howl.

I am beginning to understand the language of the wolves. At first I only understood what their bodies told. I knew when something small in the forest disturbed them, some slight smell in the wind warned them; what was meant by the turning of their ears, a tension, a pause in their step. But now I understand their language, the importance of every yip and growl and bark. Sometimes their wails are so high I can hardly hear them, yet they all carry messages. And then there are their howls. How I love their howls, how I have grown to love how they make me feel uplifted and carried high, on those soulful, resonating notes.

One night I went with Kavah to a spot just outside the forest, and there atop a hill he sat, his body a dark blur against the luminescent moon, and he sang a song. He howled for me, not telling a message or warning, but howling just because his heart was full, and it was his moon. And I knew, that night alone with him on our lonely hill, why I had always loved the moon, and hungered for it, for the freedom in its light, like my mother probably once had too. The new information I had gained from that fateful night had made me question everything. I questioned everything Droug had told me of my mother and what it meant for me. But, most of all I felt closer to her memory than ever before, I was with the wolves, who had also, once, been her kin too, and by being with them, I felt like I was making her spirit proud.

I listen with Zahar, trying to dishern what Kavah is telling us. For the wolves' howls are rich with many meanings, and I have the feeling Kavah is saying he is late finding prey and will not be back till the sun is high. I glance at Zahar; she is suddenly relaxed, her tail wagging from side to side. Whatever Kavah's message may be, it pleases her.

It is hard to explain how I know their language. It is something to do with something deep in myself, something to do with the part of me that has always loved them, that longed for their freedom when I had none, a part of me that is becoming more and more attuned to their memories and their ancient knowledge. Perhaps my mother knew their language, and passed it on to me, and now I am remembering her memories. This remembering is mystical, deep and powerful; it is something I know in my heart, and not my head.

But the wolves' truest communion lies in their vast awareness of each other, and themselves, in their profound intuitive sense of where their kinfolk are, and what they do. It is this great empathy, that is their strength.
Zahar's eyes glow. Something passes from me to her: an assurance, a promise that all is well.

"I know it is, I understood his message, I think." I say to her.

Her look is of utter peace, she knows she heard him right. The cubs growl softly in their slumber and their bellies rumble. I realize, I too, am hungry. When Kavah returns, Zahar and I will leave the cubs with him and go to the stream. I miss Shamar, who might have minded the cubs for us, Amitz wont, for he will follow me to the stream. The young she-wolf has been gone four nights now, and last night I heard her howling, and I knew she was outside our territory, and near a harvest-field, where mice where bountiful.

Dozing in the sunlight I think of Fae things, Amitz is warm against my side and occasionally he will stir in his sleep. A presence penetrates my dreams and I glance up and see Kavah. The sun is half-way in its journey to the center of the sky.

Zahar is on her feet, springing to welcome him back. Whining with pleasure, she licks his face, presses her nose against his chin and into his neck, and places her forefeet to his shoulders and embraces him. He pretends to be aloof and tolerant of her crazy affection but then his tail wags, and he nuzzles her. Always she welcome him like this. Sometimes he forgets he is king and plays with her, as if they were two cubs, rolling down the dirt bank and into long grasses, grunting and whining in their bliss. I have never seen him mate her, for it is not their season for it, but their kinship is beautiful and strong.

( Well I was gonna post sooner, and post another chapter straight after this one but then wattpad had to go stupid and wig out on me, erasing everything so I threw a small tantrum and couldn't write I was so upset and angry.  But anywho...there it was, the rewritten chapter :) Hope you enjoyed it, love, vote, comment and share. )