It's a change {TW story}

Where she went?

Nathans p.o.v

   “ And Baby, I know you are sad, but please open your eyes so I can fall in Love once again,

I can see you, behind that wall of tears and lies,

please,

I will show you what love can do … “ my eyes where glued to an invisible spot in the gray wall in front of me, as I sang the beautiful line I had written a few weeks ago. I don´t really remember what I had in mind while writing the song that later became “ Where she went “

( A/N yes I know this is the title from Gayle Formans book, but I just really love that book and as you may know Elli is reading it atm, but let us continue with the story shall we? )

I found it a couple of days ago in the bottom of my suitcase and I read it once -I felt that I just had to show the boys... When Jay and Siva read it they where almost in tears in the end, I know; Pussy´s …

“ C´mon, Nathan! Show us some emotion! You wrote that f*cking song, remember the feeling you had when you wrote those beautiful words! “ Jack, the sound guy told me trough the speakers … I nodded with my lips in a thin line, I have no clue what I was thinking when I wrote those beautiful words, I thought and just when I was about to try it once again, Jack said it was a lunch break.

   “ Mate, what´s up with you today? You aren´t even doing your little ninja thing with your hand when you sing. “ Max said and tried to mimic the thing I do when I sing.

“ I know, I am sorry! But I can´t even remember what I had in mind when I wrote it, I don´t even know when and where I did it! “ he gave me a sandwich from the little rucksack he always had in the studio with him. It only where the two of us, the rest of the Lads had done their part in the morning, so it was Max and I left.

“ You may have been with that girl you visited a while ago, “ he said and took a bite of his tuna sandwich, “ -and that is why you can´t remember it.. Didn´t you say that the two of you where practically high the whole time? “ he gave me an amused gaze and chuckled.

“ Oh, right! I have forgotten about that... yeah, it must have been around that time. When I was with Elisabeth... “ I said her name in a low tone, almost like I didn´t want to think about her, about her dazzling eyes, her laugh, her angelic voice, and how perfect and naturally my name sounds; coming from her lips...

   “ Shit... “ I cursed, my vision was blurry and all I could hear was her shaky voice and all I could see was her eyes, filled with tears...

“ Mate? … Nathan? “ max waved his hand in front of my eyes, trying to pull me back to reality.

“ ehm, yeah.. I am good, I am here. “ I shook my head, trying to get the images of Elli out of my head.

“ Great, back to work then! “ we stood up and I got back into the recording both.

   “ Now, Nathan, sing it with passion! “ I got my order and plugged my earplugs in, took a deep breath and begun to count in when I heard the piano begun to play...

“ Oh Honey, you are the reason that I smile... “ Elisabeth...

you are the reason that I am still alive … “ … she had told me that...

“ But I, yeah I gotta stay high just to keep you off my mind... “ I wrote about Elisabeth, to Elisabeth and now; I am singing about Elisabeth.

   I could feel the alcohol pumping through my body, fast, just as fast as I moved to the heavy music in the club. Tons of Birds danced around me and hung over me. You may think my thoughts would be on Ariana who´s home: sleeping. But it wasn´t all I could think about was really nothing. Nothing! My mind is empty, a blank space.