Infinite, Sometimes

8

Spencer studied Ryan after they separated from their hug. Other than the lack of smoky smell that made him wonder if Ryan had even been around his father at all that evening, Ryan was also rather relaxed. He was obviously worrying himself sick over something and Spencer put his arm around his friend's shoulders from a distance, and squeezing Ryan's right shoulder seemed appropriate since his hand was already positioned there anyway.

"Why'd you come and wait here?"

"All I was gonna do was go home and finish the work I didn't get done at El's."

"I still don't understand what made you so sure I'd leave."

"When I called home, I asked my mom and she said you hadn't come over. So I figured you were still here. I decided to just wait for a bit and see what happened. I was gonna call you in about a half hour or so because I wanted to stand outside your window and be all 'creepy stalker guy' and breathe heavily into the phone and scratch on the screen or something."

Ryan shook his head and grinned, using his eyes to express a sarcastic concern for Spencer's mental health. "You suck, Spence. Seriously. I think you just lost at life or something."

Spencer took his arm back to turn the ignition. "That's my job. Suck and lose... whatever that means? I think I'm just talking to hear myself talk, by this point."

Ryan confirmed Spencer's suspicions by slowly nodding his head in an exaggerated manner, causing Spencer to playfully punch him in the leg.

"So what's going on tonight, Ry?"

"Dad kinda didn't do anything. I didn't see him again 'til I left my room to come outside."

"So he didn't make you leave?" Spencer was looking behind his shoulder and using one hand to turn the steering wheel. He left his other hand on Ryan's knee while he waited for Ryan to explain why he was unable to stay home.

"Well whatever he had tonight made him say he wanted me to leave, but that doesn't count. I was gonna go to your place anyway, though."

"What was it, then? You weren't too happy when you got in here."

Ryan shifted in his seat to rest his head against the cold window and stare at the sidewalk as they flew along beside it. "I just wanted to sleep somewhere nice tonight, you know?"

"It's been a while since I've seen you cry for any reason other than something about your dad. Either it's him, Ryan, or you're not okay again. In either case, I want you to tell me so I can know what to say. If it's the latter, we're sitting in this car all night until I've got things fixed."

"You need to stop being so good to me. You and El both. I'm fine. My dad really, really didn't do anything tonight. I was just kinda upset about how I gave him a hug before I left and I said goodnight to him and he didn't even bother to say anything back to me." Ryan sunk down as far as he could in his seat, even managing to lift his legs and press his feet against the dashboard to make sure that he was sunk as low as possible.

Spencer's hand moved from the knee to Ryan's head and it became buried in soft brown hair. "You know he would have hugged you back, Ryan. Don't let that man in there bother you. Your dad would have hugged you."

"I want him to, Spence."

"We'll come by in the morning if you want. He'll hug ya then."

"It just kills me because I know he's not really like this... fuck, I just... you know what, this is kind of irrelevant right now. It wasn't even that bad tonight and I shouldn't even worry about it right now. I've learned to put up with it anyway."