Infinite, Sometimes

9

Ryan focused on the sidewalk just as he had done the night before. His view was only interrupted by the occasional mailbox and the monotony of green next to gray led him to close his eyes and concentrate on the calm silence between Spencer and himself. It had been relatively quiet the entire morning, except for when Ryan had to assure Spencer's mother that he was, in fact, okay. Ryan's mind spun around the phone call he had with Brendon. Twelve hours ago, he thought, he had been talking to that boy, and Ryan found himself somewhat excited about school.

The car began to slow down and Ryan's eyes opened with the sound of Spencer's voice. "Just in time, looks like. Go on."

Ryan looked toward his house to see his father locking the front door. He quickly got out of the car and ran past the little old Honda in the driveway in order to catch his father before he made it into the car.

"Mornin', Son. How are you?" He reached into his back pocket and pulled out his wallet.

"I'm okay I guess. Kinda runnin' late today and I didn't know if I'd get here in time or not." Ryan accepted the twenty dollar bill that was being handed to him and shoved it into his pocket before wrapping his arms around his father's neck. His cold face smelled like shaving cream and Ryan pretended that he was choking on the smell as opposed to his own words and feelings that were being tied into knots in his throat.

"Get yourself some lunch, Kiddo. I need to get to work. You have a good day, alright?"

Ryan nodded through his hug and took one of his arms down in order to walk at his father's side until they reached the driveway. He gave his father a questioning look as if he was expecting some sort of instruction. "I guess... um... yeah, have a good day."

"You too, Kiddo. See you tonight?"

Ryan didn't feel like putting up a fight. "Yeah I guess."

The man sat down in the driver's seat and put the keys in the ignition. The car started to beep, and Ryan stepped back. "I love you, Dad."

"I love you too, Ryan. See you later."

The door was pulled shut and Ryan jogged back to Spencer's car. He climbed into the back and sat sideways with his legs stretched out across the entire seat. Spencer sat still for a second until Ryan managed to choke out a few words. "Need to get El. It's gettin' late."

"You okay, man?"

"I'm fine. Just go get her so we can get to school."

Spencer nodded and put the car in drive. Ryan turned his head and watched his house grow farther and farther away, and he took a deep breath and wiped his eyes before any tears had the chance to form. He didn't want to allow himself to get upset so early on this morning, so he decided to distract himself with his phone. He opened up a blank message and started to type instead of calling the number.

To: Bren

Message: Morning, you. how r ya?

He sent the message and closed his eyes again, holding the phone in the fist that he rested against his mouth. He let his mind drift away for the couple minutes that it took to rush to Ellen's house. She opened the passenger door just in time to stop Ryan from thinking too hard about how long it was taking Brendon to reply. She sat down and greeted Spencer with a large kiss before she turned around and looked at Ryan.

"And what's up with you today?" She nudged his bony knee and smiled at him before turning around to fasten her seat belt.

"Not much. You?"