Not a Gryffindor - a Harry Potter fan fiction

Chapter 20

The next few minutes were a blur - all of a sudden, I was growing, changing, fighting, crying, screaming, pushing on despite the pain that ripped at my soul.

Salazar and Alyssa weren't so intimidating anymore, so powerful. They were alone, the others had fled.

Before I knew what was happening, they were taken off to Azkaban and everyone around me was cheering, hugging, smiling and all the while my heart bled and my soul screamed and there were tears all over my face and I didn't want to go on...

Then there was blackness.

I woke, disorientated and afraid, but warmth found me and I was enveloped in strong arms. There was a time turner in my hand and a wand in my belt and mission in my mind that I had to complete. There was crying, screaming, I was making the hardest decision of my life, I was leaving those who loved me. My brother, who never cried, and my sister who laughed at horror movies were both in tears, clutching each other. Carrie, my best friend, my sister  was distraught, past consolable. I was causing her more pain than her parents ever could.

Then the time turner was around my neck, my family and friends were all around me, crying. Carrie was screaming, Ray holding her back so she didn't try to follow me. A strong pain resided within my soul.

I didn't want to go. I wanted to live. I wanted to be able to act my age, to be young, to enjoy life. I wanted to get married one day, I wanted have kids, I wanted to grow old!

My whole future had been snatched from me, fate's cruel hand had picked me to do this, not Remus, not Xochital, not Carrie or Ray.

The time turner spun lightly at the command of my wand, and my heart broke. I had never been more afraid.

Then I was next to Tom Riddle's orphanage and I was facing my younger self who was preparing to kill the boy. I called out to her and she turned to me, so much more youthful and innocent looking, despite her only being a few weeks younger. Then she was hugging me, and I couldn't hug her back, afraid that I would damage her fragile innocence.

Then she was gone and I was by myself, crying, screaming, cursing.

Why me?

Then there was a hand in my shoulder, weathered and soft and warm. Dumbledore smiled serenely down at me.

"Zara Storm Potter. You were named after a Slytherin who was considered more courageous than the Gryffindor lion. Unfortunately, he looks like a coward next to you."

I smiled sadly. Dumbledore was trying to help me but I had never felt so alone.

"Your family, your friends, they grieve you. But they live in a free world, riddled with battle scars, yes, but free and because of you they never have to fear for their life, or for their children."

My body, so heavy with grief, lightened just a little.

He smiled at me. "Remember, death is only the next great adventure." I stared into his crystal blue eyes, and in them I saw his own grief and pain, and I knew he understood how I felt. He smiled, but then suddenly turned grave. "I believe your time is running out, Zara."

I looked down at the time turner, which was blackened and rotten.  I then turned to Dumbledore, but he was gone. The time turner began to shake in my hand. The tears returned to my face, hot and fast and I fought them.

I stood defiantly, my black hair billowing in the wind, my soul damaged, my heart beyond repair. I was to face death as if it was an old friend.

Then the time turner exploded in my hand.