Letters To You

Chapter 2

Jho

It's been a hectic week. Papers are due every now and then. He's not with me anymore and I don't know how to go on and survive this madness. He used to bring me coffee in the morning before he goes to work. At lunch, we would eat together at our usual place. We love to eat buffalo wings, pasta or pizza. When my day was over, he would call me and tell me he loves me and everything will be okay then he picks me up from work and we'd go home straight to our condo. We would take turns in cooking dinner and washing the dishes.

It felt safe and serene to be in his arms when I fall asleep but now I am a mess without him. I toss and turn every night, barely getting any sleep amidst all the stress. How I wish I could turn back time and tell him I can go home alone then he would still be home. I would trade all my tomorrows to get to see him another day and tell him I love him and I miss him badly.

I began to prepare myself because I spend my Sundays at the cemetery. I tell him about how my week was and how I badly need him. I've been like this for almost a year. I know it's been a long time but he was a big part of my life and I couldn't just forget about what we had.

As I began talking, I couldn't help myself from breaking down. I want to be strong for us and for myself. I want to hold myself together like before, like how it had been before you left - when everything was perfect. I want you to see me happy so you'd find peace in leaving this world but I couldn't draw strength from myself or anybody. Everything revolved around you that I don't see myself with somebody else.

My train of thought was suddenly disturbed by a tall lady. "Miss, are you with someone?" I felt a little embarrassed because she must have seen me cry all this time. I just shook my head to answer her question. I hope she would leave now.

Just when I thought she already left, she asked, "Do you want someone to talk to? It seems like you badly need one. You can tell me."

As much as I want to miss tall girl I'm really not in the mood to talk to strangers.

"I don't want to be a burden to anyone. You're wasting your time in trying to strike a conversation with me." I replied coldly. That should keep her away now.

"Don't be so hard on yourself. I can be your friend. We can meet here everyday and talk about random things. I have my share of problems that I want to forget. What do you say?"

I'm considering her offer. She's just a stranger but why not try something new after almost a year of shutting people out of my life. The opportunity to have random conversations might help me get over this. "Alright, what do you say about 4 pm tomorrow?"

Her face lit up like a kid who was given a candy.

"I would love to come!" She happily said.

I went home feeling giddy. Strange. This stranger comes crashing into my life and suddenly turns everything around. Maybe I won't feel so alone tomorrow. Maybe some things will change. Maybe. It's been a while since this smile was etched on my face - the last time was when Abe called me saying he's on his way to fetch me and then after the accident, I was a complete mess.