Letters To You

Chapter 14

"Fall for me
like how the
water falls for
the Earth.
inevitably,
strong,
steady,
and
unafraid
of the
consequences."

Jho

I couldn't seem to get things done today. I tried to work on the design that was due at the end of the week, but the memory from last night emerged out of the blue. It was sensual yet hilarious. Who would forget? A couple of times I attempted to dismiss the thought but the effect it had on me was indeed overpowering my superego. I would catch myself squirm under my seat whenever the memory popped up.

Flashback

"Bey..." I whispered when I felt her soft lips touch the the crook of my neck, which sent chills down my spine and caused my whole body to ignite in a blink of an eye. It made wonder why she had this immediate effect on me.

"I can't help it, Jhoana. Your neck is tempting me," she mumbled.

She drew closer and brushed her nose on my ear. I'd like to tell her to stop, but my body argued with me because at each stroke I seem to give in a bit more.

She didn't stop there. She slithered her arms around my waist and her cold hands found its way inside my top. It stroked my abdomen side to side in a slow and torturing manner that made me grip her hand to stop her from continuing this sweet torment.

"Is there any problem, baby?" Her husk voice prodded me to shake my head. She doesn't need to convince me to do this. I am already down for it. It's just that everything is so new to me.

I turned to her and cupped her face, revealing her deep and dark eyes. I could tell she was anticipating for my answer, thrilled and terrified at the same time.

"I love you, Bea," I said before crashing my lips with hers.

The heat that piled up was unleashed out of my body when we exchanged passionate kisses. I wasn't able to suppress a moan when she started to undress me while I sat on her lap.

Is this it?

"Baby..."

I was left with my bra on, still sitting on her lap, unconsciously pressing my body unto hers. Her lips traveled down my collarbone, relentlessly kissing every inch of it while her hands were repeatedly skimmed my back. The intensity of our kissing made me forget everything other than the fact the I want her now.

She proceeded to devour my neck, leaving wet kisses all over it. I closed my eyes relishing the sensation that was new and extremely pleasurable.

Too passionate, too arousing.

I hastily pulled her head up and met her lips with utmost. I bit her lower lip, demanding entrance to her mouth and she immediately parted her lips. I slipped my tongue inside and explored her glorious mouth. It tasted sweet, it tasted like her and I just wanted more of it. I suppose she didn't want to feel inferior so she clashed her tongue with mine. We were catching our breaths when she broke the kiss. She looked at me intently, wanting to say something but words failed her.

"Do whatever you want, Bea. I don't care, I want you," I managed to say while panting.

It was way too early for us to do this. We barely started, however, that doesn't change the fact that we love each other and I think that's what's going to matter in the end. So I will let her. I will welcome her.

Her eyes widened in amusement thren she smiled – a mischievous one.

"Lay down properly on the bed, baby," she requested.

I clumsily pushed myself back until I reached the headboard. I was staring at her while we shared a long silence. She took of her shirt which revealed her stomach – bare and emphasized. I was in awe because of her beauty.

She crawled unhurriedly towards me, eyes beamed with lust, yearning and devotion. She carefully unhooked my bra and trailed kiss on my chest. She was about to remove it when we heard knocks on the door. We came back to our senses and scrambled for our clothes.

"Shit!" She quietly cursed. "Hide under the covers. Pretend to be asleep. I'll get the door."

She darted towards the door and bumped into the some furniture that I couldn't see. I can't help but laugh at her in my head.

"Bea, what will you have for breakfast? I've been calling your phone but you're not answering."

Uh oh.

Bea

Everything was going pretty smoothly until there was a knock on the door.

Why Mom? Why?

I cursed under my breath and told Jho to hide under the sheets and pretend she was asleep. I quickly climbed out of bef and headed for the door while trying to put on my shirt. Due to panic, I bumped my shin along the way.

Great, just great.

I yanked the door open and found my mother disoriented as soon as her eyes landed on me.

Is something wrong? Wait. I think I look so messed up.

"Scrambled eggs, fried rice and Spam mom. Oh and don't forget about coffee, please." I swiftly said and kissed my mom's cheek. "Good night, Mom!"

I headed back in the room and checked myself. So now I know why my mom seemed confused when she saw me. Why? I was absolutely a mess! My shirt wasn't pulled down completely and my hair looked like it wasn't brushed for day. I dropped my worries and joined Jhoana in bed. I tapped her lightly while still under the blanket, but there was no response. I peeled it off and saw her, eyes closed.

I shook her gently. "Jho, shower ka na. I'll go after you. You can get clothes from my closet."

She got up with her eyes shut and proceeded to the bathroom. I was left there thinking what could have happened if Mom didn't interrupt. I know it was too fast.

And I don't know whether I would even try to court her. I guess we should stay like this. At least we both know we love each other. Making things official just makes everything complicated. I have never wanted anything so bad until I met her, but if choosing between hurting her and hurting myself, I'd choose the latter, and so I might not risk it with her. 

When she finished, I immediately washed up and went back to the bed. I curled up next to her, wrapping my arm around her waist. I kissed her hair repeatedly and went on for a few minutes as she was sleeping soundly and I breathed calmly, feeling completely at home –at peace beside the girl who I never imagined to be right here giving me hope that maybe there are more tomorrows.

I'd ask myself often how long can I sustain this, how can I be worthy of her love, how I'd hurt to be away from her, and how things would transpire if drastic decisions would be made.

But for now, what matters is us. I will revel on her presence – a beautifully destructive thing to do, yet I wouldn't think twice in doing.

A suicidal decision — suffocating yet liberating.

Loving her.