I TAKE IT BACK

WHAT NOW

you awake with your hand clutching a blade and your other hand sprawled across your lap.obvisiously the drunk bastard also known as your dad hasn't come home.or else you would have a couple more bruises and cuts marked on your skin. you wince as you slowly touch your cuts. standing up you walk to the sink, slightly stumbling on your box of blades. you lay your head on the sink turning on the facet.putting your boney hand under the cold water you grunt in pain.you watch as the now red water drains from the sink. what now you whisper what now....you hear the front door unlock.you rush to your blade box and shove it under the bed.slipping your botdf hoodie on you lock your bedroom door.at the moment you don't think you can deal with him.the stairs creek and you shove your head into your pillow.please don't come up here you cry please.OPEN UP FAGGOT I HAVE A FEW WORDS FOR YOUR ASS the bastard yells.EITHER OPEN UP NOW OR WHEN I GET THE DOOR OPEN I'LL KICK YOUR ASS YOU GOT 6 SECONDS YOU TWAT OPEN UP he shouts as his fists collide with your door.you get up slowly unlocking the door.THAT WAS 8 SECONDS YOU PRICK YOU READY FOR A BEATING he screams.you can spell the thick scent of alcohol in his breath.you back away slowly holding your hands up to "protect you" from his heavy fists.he punches your cheek then slams you to the floor pinning your hands above your head.you shriek loudly as he yanks your freshly cut hands above your head.your dad leans in close whispering bad boys get punished and he quickly takes off your skinny jeans exposing your skinny bruised legs.he yanks off your boxers and puts you on your hands and knees like a dog.hot tears stream from your eyes.stop not again please you yelp.your dad's eyes blaze with anger then he back hands you across the cheek.DID I SAY YOU COULD SPEAK he yells.you shake your head slowly as another tear falls from your eyes.end it all you think I don't wanna suffer anymore from his rape and loosing zach is it really worth it.your father slowly enters his hard cock into your ass.you cringe and cry as he thrusts in and out.you pray please get this over with please.he pulls out kicking you in the ribs repeatedly.you silently cry when he leaves the room.is this what I get is this my punishment for moms death you cry...just kill me already you sob.you walk to your bathroom stripping off your hoodie.not even showering will get rid of how dirty and worthless you feel but it will releave some stress.you turn on the facet and turn the knob to hot.slowly stepping into the shower you hold onto the wall steading yourself.your legs are a little wobbly resulting from your dad's painful kicks.your tense shoulders start to relax and your legs give out.you hold your knees to your chest as the warm water falls on your skin.you softly cry once more then turn off the water.stepping out of the water you look at yourself in the mirror.you see scars cuts bruises and there all sprawled across your boney body.walking into your room you grab some black sweatpants and a ghost town shirt.you check to make sure your father is fast asleep then you lay in bed.blinking into the night you think maybe m-maybe I deserve this.eyes growing heavy you fall asleep.lost in a nightmare called your mind.never knowing what nightmare the night brings you always cringe at the thought of sleep.little did you know tonight was gonna be the worst nightmare of them all.