Save Me From You

Love And Leave.

- 2 Months Later

I didn't see Rodney the next day, nor the day after. But I did see him at the mall once. And what he did tore me to pieces.

"Come on, Tai. All you do is mope around all day." Magic whined.

"You try getting torn to pieces then acting like it's all good the next minute!"

"Isn't that what y'all girls do everyday?"

"Yes, but-" I paused for a moment. "Just leave me alone! You didn't see what I saw."

"I didn't see it, but I know. You shouldn't be hung up on him. If you really wanted him, you would've told Sparky."

"Don't bring him into this."

"You know it's true. Sparky would've yelled at Rodney, Rodney would do whatever he needed to, and later that night, y'all would be all cuddled up making love faces."

Just the thought made me shake with sadness. He's right. Sparky always makes everything better. But who am I to drag him into this?

~*~

"Where is it?"

That voice. That voice brought fear to my heart. I needed to hide. I looked around the room and figured there was no place to hide. I just covered myself with the blankets, hoping he'd think I was sleep.

There was a sigh when the door opened and he stopped dead in his tracks. I could tell he was watching me as I slept. Well pretended to anyways. Another sigh and he proceeded into the room. Some things were moved around and he soon exited.

I sighed a breath of relief with him finally being gone. I got up and finished getting ready for work. Right before I walked out, Magic came in.

"Hey, I'm about to go."

"But I need you to take me to work."

"Can't, Tai. Ask him."

I walked out to see Rodney. He's got to be kidding me! As soon as I turned back around to protest, Magic was gone! I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I'll just take the bus!

I walked out and he followed. Does he expect me to go with him or something? When I started walking a little faster, he pulled me gently by my arm. He held me from behind as we walked tightly so I couldn't get away. He escorted me to the car and the ride was quiet.

"Tai, I didn't mean it." He finally said.

"Okay." I shrugged.

"Okay?"

"Yeah. Okay."

He sucked his teeth, "Don't do this to me."

"Okay."

"Tai, I'm sorry!"

"Okay." I said again with no emotion.

We arrived at my job and I walked inside, "Good morning, darling."

"Morning, Mrs. D."

"How's that boy Rodney?"

"Oh, I don't really hang with him anymore."

"He drove you here."

"We didn't talk."

"Baby, what happened?"

"I'm not really into him anymore."

"You know you love that boy." She nudged me.

I blushed. I wouldn't say love. I'm very much attracted to him, but I don't think I love him.

~*~

I sat in the diner waiting for Magic.

"Can't make it." He texted me.

I groaned and dialed Sparky, "I need you to pick me up."

"Alright."

He was here in less than half an hour, "What's cracking?"

"Nothing. Hey, Indi."

"Hey."

"Where you goin?" Sparky asked.

"I have not a clue. I'm not going back with Candy, and Magic seems busy."

"What about Rodney?"

"What about him?"

"What's going on with y'all two? I used to have to force y'all to split up and now it seems like I can't keep y'all together. Y'all keeping secrets now?"

"No." I shook my head. "We've just lost interest."

"That's not what he said."

"What'd he say?"

"He really wants to talk to you. I know y'all ain't chilled in a minute, but he misses you, Tai."

"I don't care."

"Girl, you trippin!" Indi said. "It's a one in a million chance that a boy like Rodney would come by and you push him away!"

I stayed quiet. He took me to Rodney's house. I sat on the couch and it seemed as if it was my first time here. Rodney came out and looked at me.

"Hi." I waved and smiled shyly.

"Hi."

"Hey, Sparky, we need to go do that thing." She had so much fakery in her voice.

"Oh yeah. We'll see y'all later."

They left in a hurry, leaving Rodney and I. There was an awkward silence.

"How's your girl?" I asked.

"I don't know. How are you?"

I rolled my eyes and started thinking about what Mrs. D told me earlier.

"Do you love me?" I can't believe I just blurted out that question!

"Yes."

"Are you being honest with me?"

"Yes."

I looked down. Where am I going with this?

"Do you love me?" He switched the question to me.

I looked up at him. His eyes were filled with so much emotion. Love, hate, sadness, jealousy. Just so much. Like he was dying on the inside.

"I can't answer that."

"Why not?"

I hesitated, "I just can't." I got up and walked out.

"Yo, Tai!"

I looked to my left to see Darrius, "What?"

"What's wrong with you?"

"Nothing, where you been?"

"I've been at a friend house."

"Oh."

"I thought I told you to stop messing with Rodney."

"And I did. Sparky dropped me off here for some reason."

"You need a ride home?"

"Sure."

Though I didn't really want to, I let Darrius take me back to my apartment. We don't talk like that. I honestly don't want to be around him anymore, but sometimes, I'm just like whatever. I heard it's a hit out on him, but I hope that Rodney, Sparky, and Magic don't have anything to do with it. I guess I'll just wait for everything to unfold.

"Hey girl." Candy said.

"Hey."

I went straight to my room. I'm not in the mood for her. I know she's not going to bother me either. She's knows the hands I have. I'm unpredictable with them!

I got to thinking. I love Rodney. At least I think. But I'm afraid to get hurt. He's already showed me that he's the type to love and leave. I want to be the girl he loves forever. The one he chooses to settle down and have a family with. Not the one he loves in the moment and leaves in the next.

~*~

"I know, I know." I groaned.

"Well if you know so much, then why aren't you here?" Indi screamed through the phone.

"I just don't think it would be right for me to be there."

"Heffa, I will drag you through the phone by your throat if I have to!"

"Fine, I'm coming. Where is it?"

~*~

"Baby girl!"

I smiled and hugged Sparky, then Magic. I have yet to see Rodney though.

"I'm here. Happy?" I asked Indi.

"Very. I'd be even happier if we could find Rodney so you could tell him you love him."

I rolled my eyes and started walking, "Wait, where you going?" She yelled after me.

I walked right up to him with Indi catching up, "Y'all children these days! Walking off without even telling anybody. We're supposed to be looking for- Oh."

I can always spot Rodney. It's a gift and a curse. When he looked at me, he showed so much emotion, then nothing. They were as cold as all the times he gets mad.

"She needs to talk to you." Indi said.

"I, um." I paused. This isn't the right time nor place to tell someone you love them.

"I don't here y'all talking!"

The same girl from the mall came up to the side of him and turned his attention away from me. They kissed and he looked back at me while she smirked.

"I just wanted to say what's up." I said quickly before walking off.