Own Me

Colors

I'm on a plane, sitting by the window looking at the emptynes of the sky on my way to France. Gavi . Its all I've been thinking about ever since I got the job. He's the pure image of perfection and before I got time to notice, his left hand was soflty resting in my thigh. I looked at him and he was asleep. Maybe its just an accident  I said to myself, but just then, his hands moved a little up. Shit.

There was something about this man that was just irresistible. I've never kissed anyone, let alone have sex. But ever since I met him, it's all I think about.

No one knows about my overwhelming virginity, not even my best friend Angela . She thinks I made out with this guy named Andrew I met in my art appreciation class. Truth is, I never speaked to Andrew. I did liked him for some time but I didn't find myself worthy so I never dared to make an approach. He didn't either so I guess it wouldn't have worked anyways. It's embarrassing to think about it, how much of a virgin I am. But I blame it all on my self hate and insecurities.

His hands on my thigh felt warm. Like a sweater on a cold day. We were alone in the plane and there was still 3 hours to go. I couldn't help to notice that there's something about him that changes when I'm around. I started to notice shortly after I started working. He looked at me as if there was something he wanted from me, like there's something I have that belongs to him. My usual self would see that as creepy and overwhelming, but on him seem so seductive, so irresistible. I bit my lips once without even noticing what the hell is wrong with me?

I was starting to feel a rush in my stomach. His hands were moving around my thigh carelessly, I normally would feel uncomfortable but I didn't want it to stop. His hand felt so good. This is the closest I've been to him. Normally I'm just in his office talking with different arrogant man who don't  understand or talk English and don't make an effort to learn it, making his life easier. I dont do any approach to him like the one he's doing right now, but it felt so good. He was so mysterious, so handsome, so seductive... I was losing all my self control for the little affection he showed to me. This isn't something I do but I can't fight it. He's too much.

When we finally land, his hand is on the phone instead of my thigh. I wanted it back even though I knew it wasn't time for it.

"Is everything alright?" He asked turning his face to me after finishing the call. He smelled so good.

"Y-yeah, I'm just a little tired"

He smiled at me with that look. Maybe it was me what belonged to him. Don't be stupid Camila, how could this god of a man be even interested in you. Don't make yourself believe this bullshit. Suddenly I felt the hit of something I needed. The hit of reality. I smiled him back and he turned his face to go away. When he was about to say something, his phone ringed. He took it as fancy as he looked. I need to control myself, but how could I? This man drives me crazy.

"We have a meeting with Pier Black tonight at 6, we need to hurry and you need some sleep" his voice was hypnotizing.

"Sure, is the hotel far?" What a stupid thing to say but then again there's nothing sexy that can come out of my mouth.

"No, not really. You'll have time"

"Perfect"

And the look was there again, along with that perfectly shaped smile. What are you doing to me?

The hotel looked like an enormous victorian house. The insides were decorated like a castle, with XVIII century furniture. I could tell it wasn't cheap. Nothing in France is cheap. He talked to the receptionist and she was smiling brightly at him. Seems like she fell for his charming persona. Who couldn't? He came up to me with the keys of the room. Different rooms but one next to the other. I didn't know what I was thinking but this seem different than that.

"If you need me I'll be next door to you" he said as we got in the elevator. He marked the floor and the doors closed leaving us alone. My heart was racing against my blood.

"Likewhise" I said and for some reason I was smiling..

"You better" he said laughing as the elevator got us to the 5th floor and he took his way out and I was close behind. What did that even mean?

As I enter my room, the first thing I noticed was the balcony which had the most beautiful view I had ever seen in my life. The big green fields, the bright blue sky, the tall buildings on the back... it was just beautiful. I thought about calling my mom but, we've growned so distant ever since I started working. She doesn't greet me or hug me or anything. She barely talks to me and I can't quite figure why is that. I thought about calling Yadi, but she most be sleeping by now. So I just laid on my bed and started to read. I was so caught up on the book I didn't noticed someone was knocking the door. Before I opened it, I knew it was him for the smell of his perfume. My heart and my blood were racing again. I opened the door and he was there in perfectly normal clothes. I've never seen him without his suit. He's still as attractive. 

"Hey, are you busy?" He the look on his face was a happy one

"No, not really"

"Mind if I make you some company?"

Shit. "Sure, come in" where did that confidence came from?

He looked around and sat by the bed and moved his hand, pointing to his side for me to sit next to him. I sat next to him trying to keep my distance. I didn't want to gross him out.

"I wanted you to help me with some paperwork that I don't really understand but you've been working so hard I didn't want to push you"

"It's okay, actually. I don't mind"
His knee was touching mine. How could something so small feel so big.

"I don't want you to stress yourself, okay?"

"I won't" he was looking at me, as if he was about to do something. He looked at me as if he wanted something. I knew what I wanted. I wanted him. Just when we're looking at each other like that, his phone ringed, sending away all the thoughts I had. It was just an alarm.

"Well it's time to get ready. I'm sorry, I wanted to stay more time" he said, smiling that beautiful smile of his. I'm going crazy about this man.

"Yeah, I need to get ready too"

"I'll see you soon" he said when he was at the door, but before leaving he turned around to face me. His face was covered with a feeling I couldn't read. But then, he looked at me and grabbed my face close to him.

"I have something for you tonight" his voice was filling me with lust, I felt like all my weight was laying within his hands.

"W-what is it?"

Then it happened. He kissed me, softly and wet. I didn't know what to do so I just followed his lips. This can't be happening, this must be a dream. But then I felt his teeth bitting softly my lips and I knew it wasn't. He looked at me and I finally understood the feeling. Lust.

"You'll see" he said smiling and then he was gone.

I touched my lips as closed the door. My first kiss. I had a very good guess of what he might do to me tonight. And I smiled because I knew I wanted it. My heart was trying to jump out of me. Just then I felt a buzz of my phone. It was a text from him.

"I hope you're ready for tonight, don't want to make you uncomfortable."

Oh I am indeed ready.

Just then I received a text from someone else. I couldn't believe it. I almost fell when I saw it. I sat down on my bed to read it again and again to make sure it was right. Why now? A simple hey don't bother, it's the person. And that person was the worst that could talk to me right now. It was Andrew. Then a second one came up.

"I want to meet up"  and I threw the phone to the other side of the bed

What the fuck?