Own Me

Ghost

At 24 and with the help of the most handsome man I know, I've discovered that I fucking love sex. I feel that its not only changing my body but my personality. I've noticed I've become more outgoing, more fierce. Like I'm not afraid of anything. Every time we fuck I feel a slight change on me. And that happens quite often. The lust that runs within this man is unstoppable. I'm not a believer, but I thank God for that. It never matters. We can fuck anywhere, anytime and it still feels as right and good as that night in France. Hell even between meetings. All this amazing sex. Kinda feels like an E.L James novel, minus the mediocre plot and writing. Which is odd, considering all my life has been a mediocre plot and writing by no one but myself. That's something he despise, my constant self loath.

"You're a treasure, Naomi. You shouldn't make yourself worth less than you are." he said one night while we were laying on his bed still wet with sweat from our lustful actions.

"I can't help it. I've done it all my life. I've always felt so little, compared to others"

"But you're not. You're gorgeous and smart and talented"

"How can I be talented on something I discovered just a few months ago?"

He chuckled a bit "I wasn't talking about that" he said, as he got closer to me. His breathing on my neck made me shiver. "But it's quite surprising how much ability you've gained in just a few months" And just like that we started kissing.

I was so caught up with the memory I didn't hear what Yadi was saying. 

"Hello? Naomi? Are you listening?" she said looking at me. Her eyes filled with worry.

"Yes. I mean no sorry. I got distracted with work stuff" Technically, I wasn't lying. I haven't told Yadi about my little romance. In fact, I haven't told anyone. I want to keep this as mine as possible.

"Its fine. Let's go for coffee"

We had been driving around for a while. Yadi called me this morning, saying that she wanted to see me. Thing is that this morning I was between the sheets of the bed of my boss. 

"Where are you? I went to your house and your mom said you didn't got home from work." she said. Her voice high pitched and cheerful as always. Even though it was 10am. That's Yadi. She's never tired.

"I-I did came home from work. I just got pretty late and everyone was sleeping. And I left early" I said. I know she probably won't believe it. But there's no way she can argue so as long as she doesn't make me face it, I'm fine.

"Oh well. I'll pick you up at your house later to go out. Be ready at 1" 

"Sure" I said with a little bit of annoyance. I didn't mind she wanted to go out with me. I was just mad because of it I will have to skip morning sex and that's so far my favorite.

We were on the line of Starbucks. The loud clicks of fingers fiercely writing essays brought me back to those days when I did that myself. Back to those days when Joseph, Misty, Leia and Gabriel were my favorite people in the world. Nostalgia overwhelms me a bit as I remember how much I miss my friends. Yadi turns to me to talk about some hot guy she saw walking by who happens to go frequently to the store she works. For the first time I wasn't half listening her because I was thinking about Neil. I was half listening because they had "Dear Maria, Count Me In" on the radio and I hadn't heard it since Leia made me go to this stupid party on our second year of college. I've never been a party person and I probably never will.

Yadi's words suddenly break my chain of thoughts. 

"I'll have a caramel frapuccino, you?" she said looking at me. I love her but she always sounds like a basic bitch.