Safety Within Mr. Payne (Teacher/Student Liam Payne)

Chapter Seven

The weather seemed to stay the same for the majority of the weekend. For the season of the fall, that seems to be very normal within this region. My tense wall began to crumble as I took in the new calm environment of Liam's home. A cement dam turning into sand that dissolves one It felt somewhat empty in a way: with it just being us, furniture, appliances and so on. Although, if we added another person it would feel more of a cramped household. I wasn't sure if that was a selfish feeling, but I just felt like I didn't want to be introduced into anymore strangers.

As Liam and I talked about me living here, he casually through out this statement: What's mine is yours!

I felt more confident with exploring the backyard knowing that he felt perfectly fine with it. I had asked him, and he was accepting with me going anywhere I wanted to. There was no secret closet to be left unseen. Liam had told me that he had some grading to do in his bedroom where he keeps a desk to organize his work.

There was a back porch that was painted a shade of white, just like the house was. It looked like I was one story off of the ground. I didn't feel intimidated by it. I leaned against the wooden railing and stared towards the ground. Thoughts come to my mind whenever I do this.

What would happen if I just jumped?

My hair dangled down, reaching for the ground. I almost felt like it was longing for it. Wanting to be sprawled out with my body laying limp on the cold ground. I then thought of an idea to give it access to the healthy grass that encases the property.

I stepped down the staircase and planted my feet onto the ground. The grass shows an appearance that tells me that it is up to date for it's trim. I thought it was perfect. I wore a somewhat thin zip up jumper, and tore down the zipper to break apart it's embrace around my torso. I looked all around me after I gently peeled the jumper off of me.

The trees that surrounded me looked almost casual. As I think back to the front yard, and it's display of a couple beautiful blossoming trees of what breed I am unsure of, I saw a couple other different ones scattered around from my stance. I didn't lie down directly under one of the beautiful blossoming trees, but I was close enough to have it's leaves and flowers invading my blank view of the solidly clouded sky. I stretch out my jumper and lie down on top of it. I pull onto the bottom hem of my black long sleeved turtle neck shirt before stretching out my arms.

My hair couldn't help but snake through the threads of the thick grass that surrounds my frame. I felt a bit paranoid from the bugs, but mainly if it were damp underneath where my body sank into the ground.

Then another thought came to mind: Why should I care?

I stretch out my arms even more until my palms were tickled by the tips of the grass. They felt like needles softly pricking my skin. I gripped the grass, as if I were gently fisting a dog's fur. The grass didn't feel all that damp, but it did feel cold. I tilt my chin to the side and in back of me. I see the locks of my hair snake through the strands of grass and it reminds me of roots from a thick tree.

As I stared up to the sky, I admired the way the coloring leaves floated down like large snowflakes and land softly onto the ground. It would look like it was tumbling, but it almost radiated off the feeling like it would be a fun ride to be on. I begin to move my arms and legs as if I were making a snow angel. I feel myself losing the long track of time, but it was nothing unusual of me to do that. It actually helped me in a way. I can lose myself so easily within my mind that sometimes I feel like it's almost dangerous or humiliating. At some point, I had stopped moving my limps and I stared up to the sky. In a way, the bright faded light of the grey clouds burned my eyes. I'd occasionally close them in defeat of this relaxing feeling. The sound of the leaves shivering and dancing along with the low whistling of the breeze soothed my thoughts. The feeling of the wind swooping down to where I lay felt like I was being washed away from the heaviness feeling I can't seem to ever shake off. It's rare moments like these where I can escape reality.