Entangled

Chapter 4

"I can.... I can explain Hareem"
"I know you can, I just don't wanna hear your explanations"
But why?" She asked.
"You didn't tell me then, you don't get to tell me now" I shrugged.
'Just listen to me Hareem"
No, YOU listen to me! I've been holding on to our friendship, but you were holding on to someone else. You were my strength Anushay. You broke me in a way no one can ever heal me. You broke my trust. I am sure you don't wanna know how I felt when I read this letter. Why didn't you tell me Nushay? I had every right to know" I shouted
"You never liked him"
"I never liked him, or he never liked me? I'm telling you Nushay he's not a nice guy"
"You have trust issues" she pointed at me with her finger.
"Yeah Right. The person who has broken so many hearts and has always mistreated girls. Who said he hated me and always insulted me in friends' gathering? How am I supposed to trust him or even like him? He sent me this letter where he said he wanna see tears in my eyes but I, I AM SUPPOSED TO TRUST HIM"
She stood there stunned looking at the letter with her eyes wide open and I went outside. I was so lost in my own thoughts that I didn't notice the time. The countdown started when I stepped a foot outside the door.
10 ...9......8.... And with every number, my heart started beating a little faster.
3....2...1 "HAPPY NEW YEAR" they all shouted together but in those screams, there was one silent cry that was coming from my inside. Thank God! No one noticed my tears 'because they were so busy in lighting their sky lanterns. After a while, I heard Amma saying "I'll turn the lights on in 2 minutes".
I've always feared dark but that night I was afraid of lights. It could show my emotions that I've been hiding from everyone. I went back to my room and closed the door hoping no one would notice my absence but I was wrong.
In a little while, I heard footsteps approaching.
*Knock Knock*
"Hareem you there?" Ashar asked. I didn't want to open the door but couldn't resist myself as Ashar was continuously banging on the door.
I unlocked the door. I was breathing heavily; my face was pale. Ashar, without a second, guessed that it was something about BB.
"Hareem I know the reason behind your red eyes, I know it's something about BB. It has hurt you badly that's why you are not outside. Hareem, Look! Tell me everything without giving it a second thought. Tell me the reason behind these tears, Come on! Please, Hareem!"
I started sobbing, my eyes couldn't stop bleeding, and my heart felt a disaster. I couldn't resist myself anymore and burst out with that bitter reality.
Ashar, after listening to me, stared at me for a while with great shock, his eyes stunned, his smile turned upside down.
"Hareem!" She must have some solid reason behind this. She didn't want to hurt you, her intentions were not wrong, but her way was" He took a deep breath and continued
"Hareem, there are people who don't wanna hurt you intentionally, but their way sometimes does. Whether it's unintentional or not, it doesn't mean the hurt would be any lesser" He said while putting his hand on my shoulder.
He further added, "I can completely understand what you are feeling right now. Yes, you had every right to know. Did it occur to you that she didn't tell you 'because she never wanted you to get hurt?
You never liked him Hareem"
"I don't wanna lose her AK"
"You won',t trust me" he continued "No one can bring your friendship to an end unless you two want to. In our lives, Problems continuously come and go but it's all about how we face them. This is just a teeny tiny problem, just put your faith in Allah and wait for him to do wonders."
6 hours later, Ashar was still with me, continuously listening to my hiccups, asking me to stay calm and seek help from Allah (SWT).
"Stop worrying about what is going on! Hold Allah's rope and be patient. Surely, He is with the patient. Don't let your inner sparkle die. Tell your every anxiety to Him as you know He is Al-Sami: The All-Hearing, He will hear you and listen to your every petition. Go to Him and He will come to you."
Ashar asked me to offer Fajar prayer as night changed into the beautiful purple sky. I took a deep breath and thanked AK.
"Hareem! Stay calm, Allah (SWT) is sure with the right ones, I'll leave now"
After AK left, I opened my cupboard to have a towel for Ablution and caught a sight to that Beautiful New Year Eve dress. I picked up the dress "Why did you do this to me! Wasn't I capable of knowing everything?"
Waterfall of tears started from my eyes but like Ashar said, I just need to put my faith in Allah. I placed that dress back into the cupboard and performed Ablution.
I raised my hands for Takbir (Allah O Akbar), Tears rolled down my cheeks again, as I lowered my head for Sujood, my blood started circulating, my soul was refreshed again and my tongue, it was just saying "Ya Allah! Ya Raheem o Kareem, Ya Malik, Ya Allah! I, your sinner! Don't have any words to pray. You know everything that's in my heart and you're as close to us as our esophagus. Please relief my pain, just cure it! My heart has broken into tiny pieces Just mend it, please mend it please! Give me the courage to stand again on my feet, to love, to trust your mankind, give me the courage again My Allah!"
I didn't lift my head up for hours and I just spoke to Him. He who gave me everything without any purpose, He who loves 70 times more than a mother, He who forgave everybody who came to Him, I His sinner talked to that King, King of all, My Allah and that time I knew He showed his mercy on me too, He listened to me too.
As I lifted my head up, I couldn't open my eyes because of the swelling and pain. I folded the prayer mat and lied on the bed which felt like I was in my DJ's arm again...