Phobia

I'm Sure She'd Love To Have You In Her Bed.

I sat in the car in silence, racking through my brain to find any memory of his aunt and my father. When nothing came up, I started to get suspicious. Did my dad cheat on my mom? Or her with my mom? I mean, I could be overreacting but to hell if I knew. Mathia kept looking at me, worriedly and nervously. Did he know something I didn't? I didn't know, I didn't know if I even wanted to know. But I knew I'd have to speak soon, since I couldn't have my dad see him. Which also means I wouldn't be able to ask my dad about it, because he would figure out that I had went there, and I wasn't sure I was fond of that.

"How did your aunt know me?" I asked finally, staring out the window. He looked uncomfortable with the question, shifting in his seat and gripping the steering wheel. "Mathia?" I asked again, looking over at him. He wouldn't take his eyes off the road, or he was glancing to the side, trying to avoid all eye contact with me.

"I'm not completely sure but... I thought she moved on." He finally said, still avoiding eye contact.

"You're lying to me, you know why she doesn't like me, don't you?" I ask, slightly raising my voice. He only sighs, not saying a word for the next few minutes.

"Your dad and your mom had an affair, with each other. My aunt and your dad were happily engaged, he slept with your mom and... You and your brother happened." He finally said, pulling to a stop a few blocks away from my house. The day looked as if it had gotten colder, though still not too late in the day. The wind looked to have picked up, and it easily reflected my mood. The nice sky had clouded over with grey clouds, with a hint of a shadow on it. It looked as if it'd storm, and I just wanted to scream. The wind pushed branches and leaves along with it, holding onto the tree for dear life.

I sat in shock, shaking my head slowly, before speeding up and putting my head in my hands mumbling, 'no,' repeatedly. Mathia rubbed my knee reassuringly as I sat panicking.

"I-i need to go." I said, fumbling with the door before finally opening it and stumbling into the wind. I was wearing a spring jacket and with its thin material, I knew I would probably freeze if I was outside too long. I quickly walked away from the car after closing the door. I didn't bother saying goodbye since I was in such a shock. I didn't think Mathia really minded either, I'm sure he understood.

I quickly got out my keys, almost dropping them and unlocking the door. Surprisingly, my dad was still home, he seemed to have been staying home later lately than leaving at six like normal. He looked up when I entered, putting his iPad down and taking his reading glasses off. I quickly kicked off my shoes and hung up my jacket, putting my keys in my coat pocket.

"Renee," My dad started, sounding angry. I didn't care, though. I was hurt and confused, and I didn't want to see him. I pushed passed him and ran up the stairs, ignoring his calls. I entered my room and slammed the door, draining the sound of his voice. I locked my door and fell face first into my pillow, hugging it to my face. I didn't want to face my dad, I didn't want to see him everyday and hide the fact I knew what had happened.
The storm outside only got worse, and it almost felt as though it were reflecting my feelings.

~

I had laid in bed for hours, trying for sleep when only horrible day dreams would overtake me. I was thankful, though. I didn't want to sleep, I didn't want to relive my mom's death again, or see Zama or Julian. I didn't want to relive their funerals, and it was bad enough I felt like I was reliving them every waking moment. I had drowned out the knocking on my door for hours, but it finally become unbearable. I was aware my brother and dad were probably busy taking turns, and it annoyed me that they wouldn't just leave me alone.

I looked over at my clock and it told me it was two in the afternoon. I guess day dreams really take you far. Of course, it wasn't the only thing I did, but nonetheless. The rain had cleared up not long ago, around the same time the knocks on my door became more frantic and needy.

I stood up, dragging my feet to the door. My floor creaked and the knocking stopped. I heard someone back up from the door as I unlocked it. As I somewhat expected, it was Chris. I sighed, looking him over. He looked stressed, worried.

"Yes?" I finally spoke after awhile. He seemed to snap out of his trance before bringing me into a hug. I quickly wiggled out of his grip, tilting my head in confusion.

"We've been so worried about you, Renee. You left this morning with only a note and then you ignore us for hours. I was scared someone hurt you." He said protectively.

"Yeah well I'm fine, what do you want?" I ask harshly. It wasn't fair to him and I knew that. I wasn't mad at him, I was mad at our dad. But the fact that I wasn't sure if I should tell him was tearing me apart.

"We want you to come downstairs."

"I don't want to talk to Dad, so I'd rather not."

"Its about Dakota, Renee. That storm was bad." My face dropped. He refused to look me in the eyes and it hurt me. Everything was going downhill and I'm losing everyone I know. I thought I knew things, but clearly I knew nothing. I didn't know your life could be ripped out from under you in less than six months.

"Is... Is she ok?" I asked finally, tapping my foot out of anxiousness. I bit my lip, awaiting the answer, though I was sure I already knew it.

"They don't think they can save her." My heart stopped, as I wasn't sure what to say. It wasn't like Dakota, or anyone in town for that matter, to let her go outside in a storm. Everybody knew her fear, and everybody was cautious. It should have been impossible.

My vision became blurry as I reached out, grabbing hold of my brother. He caught me, not saying a word, at least I don't think he was. Thoughts were running through my mind and my ears were ringing. I nodded at him, hoping he'd take that as, 'let's go.' Happily he did and led me downstairs.

My dad sat at the kitchen island, rubbing is temple as Dakota's dad sat across from him. My ears were still ringing when Chris sat me down on a chair. I put my head down onto my arms, replicating my fathers movements.

"Renee?" Dakota's father spoke, reaching over to rub my arm. All I did was nod in response, not daring to look up. "I was just talking to your dad about putting up a curfew for a few days." He spoke again. I looked up, my eyes were wet but full of shock.

"You're doing... What?" I wasn't sure if I had heard him correctly, but deep down I knew. Dakota's dad was the head of police and was often associated with my father, seeing as they have been best friends longer than my dad knew my mom.

"We're thinking if there's a curfew, we might have a better chance at figuring out... Who's been doing this."

"You mean the murderer."

"Renee, we'd like to refrain from using that word." He states, adjusting his position.

"Excuse me? Than what else would we call him? For fuck sakes, its a murderer and you can't tell people otherwise!" I yell, standing up, staring at him with complete shock.

"Renee, please calm down." He said, standing up, trying to calm me down.

"Don't you dare, you're daughter is dead as far as I know and I've lost so many people. I'm not going to simply calm!" I yelled again, stomping away to my bedroom. I stopped at the stairs for a second and looked back. "Also dad, maybe you should talk to Mathia's aunt again. I'm sure she'd love to have you in her bed."

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Hey guys sorry for the lack of updates! I'm terrible, like this chapter, I know. But hey, I finally got it out. Be proud!

~ Jessicca