The Reason I Died

The beginning

Have you ever cried yourself to sleep?
Well,if you haven't; I have. I'm not telling you this so that you can pity me or give me sympathy, but I want you to understand the type of pain I've been through. Before I continue to tell you my tragic story I want to introduce myself as Diamond. That's the name I made up for myself because my real name, Tanieyah was nothing but a failure. Tanieyah was an innocent girl who was tooken advantage of; I was only 13 when I got raped by my son of a bitch father; my mother was a by stander, she just stood there and watched. I bet she enjoyed every single last bit of it being that I was innocent and not washed up like her, but no matter what I still had respect for her and I still believed in God. I'll have to begin with Tanieyahs story before I move on to Diamonds even though they are the same person.Tanieyah was vulnerable, gullible, innocent, and was tooken advantage of frequently because she was just a weak little bitch; she didn't understand that life would eat you up and spit you out like a piece of gum.She was 13 and gaunt because she was deprived of sleep and food.she had blonde hair,hazel eyes, and white pearl teeth.she wasn't light skin but she sure wasn't burnt; I guess you can say she was a brown skin girl.Sometimes she prayed to God that both of her parents would die, so she wouldn't feel the pain she was feeling anymore, but she didn't know how to pray very well because if she wasn't cleaning up the house she was beaten and locked up in the basement so she hardly went to church. Her mother loved beating her because she was envious of her innocence and youth.The night her father died he'd just got done rapeing her, she cried and yelled for her mother but all she heard was silence all she felt were tears, sadness,and pain. After the sick bastard was finished he smiled and walked away leaving her on the bed crying. He left out of the house without speaking to anyone few weeks from that last raping my mother and I found out he passed away Knowing she wouldn't have enough money to do a funeral she moved to another home.Our home was terrible we had two bedrooms and one bathroom. My room was like a box, but I loved it much better than our last home because when I moved, I burried all of those disturbing memories.  My mom never was able to provide for me; I remember going to sleep every night hungry. I remember those days where I had to go with those same dusty uniform to school, but I couldn't do anything, but pray for something better.Going to school is terrible, those kids would pick on me as if I didn't have issues at home already, but I couldn't stand up for myself because I was too afraid.
One day I walked to the bus stop with my everyday uniform except today a kid peed in the hallway of the apartment, so I slipped and fell, but I couldn't go back inside because my mom would beat me down for the clothes that I dirtied on accident. So I walked to the bus stop and all the kids I would walk by started talking shit.I wanted to cry but I ran out of tears from crying yesterday night, so I walked away from the bus stop and attempted skipping school for the very first time. I started walking towards the park, but I didn't get to far before a black van pulled up "need a Ride to school",the scary looking man asked.
"No Thank you"and just like that I started walking; I didn't get to far before I was grabbed from behind and forcefully put into the van. I screamed and kicked, but I felt so powerless and defeated I could do nothing but cry "shut the fuck up dusty bitch I'm doing you a favor",and just like that everything went dark......