I'm only a human with a dark past I've been hurting so much that I forgot how to trust.
My past has taunt me my whole life and instead of moving forward I go back.
To be honest I was never alive
I have to tell the story of the way I died.
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I woke up with a headache not because I got drunk only because I was over thinking. The pain I held inside of me hurts so bad that I couldn't function right, I couldn't eat or sleep all I could do was be miserable. I refuse to cry I surpressed my feelings so that I can feel strong. "Goodmorning my name is sugar Daddy and I own this club" "My name is Diamond" "Wow that's a nice name it's very special" "What do you mean" "Your name is a stage name,can you dance?" "I can dance a little bit I guess" "Well do you have any interest in stripping? I'll pay you very good money,you won't have to sleep with anyone unless you want to,And I'll protect you as long as you live under my roof" "I don't know if I can see myself ever doing that" "You can work for me until you get back on your feet" "Promise?" "I promise Diamond I won't let anything bad happen to you"
Why can't I ever learn my lesson? this is just another empty promise. Why can't my life be good? What did I do to deserve this? A few weeks went by and sugar Daddy lemme stay at his house;he said I can start working when I get in the right state of mind. I cooked,clean,and practiced dancing but my mind was still on Derrick he was my first love. It hurt so bad and I felt so betrayed but the feeling was neutral. I had to get revenge I thought to myself but God disliked the thoughts I had going through my head I didn't know where this would put me but the lord knew it all. I was tired of being good, I have to get revenge because the pain won't go away,why did he betray me?
Two weeks went by and I posponed my revenge for now I figured that I had to make some money and associates before I carry out my plan. My plan wasn't fully organized but all I knew is that I wanted revenge; Diamond was in full control she was full of hatred and vengeance and tanieyah was just vulnerable so I had to surpress the other half of me. In those two weeks I became a new person, I was very determined to get some money so I told sugar Daddy I was ready to perform on the stage.
"Before you start working your going to have to train.Star will be showing you how to seduce these men into paying you more money, she will show you how to go up and down the pole.In order to dance you must use positive feelings you have to be sexy,you have to make these men desire you." "I'm not pretty enough I need make up" "In order for these men to desire you you must learn that you are gorgeous and that make up only enchances your beauty. Babygirl your not ugly your a Diamond which means you shine greater amongst all the others,your worth is priceless.
For once I felt beautiful, relevant, and wanted.The feeling was extrodinary I felt very powerful and special but this was only the beginning of my downfall. "Ok so when do I start training" "You start training today" "How long Is it going to take?" "At least one week" "STAR!" "Yes sugar daddy"she replied. The voice sounded so familar almost as if it was Amy's voice. No it couldn't be her she would never become a stripper I thought to myself. When star came out we both had a heartache. "Diamond what are you doing here?" "Amy I mean star I'm here to work" "Oh I want to say I'm Sorry for what went down back at the apartment" "No need to apologize I'm the one that's suppose to be appoligizing"
