The Reason I Died

Those Long Nights

I was living in the streets for one month straight.
I was so tired but I had to keep on moving if I wanted to get to where I'm going.
Where is that Exactly? I don't really know but I'll just roam around until I figure out what I want to do.
I was starving, tired,and couldn't sleep.There were those nights that I woke up having nightmares with no one to hug me and tell me it's alright.

I miss Uncle Renney so much. Where is he?
He promised he would come back for me.
I went to sleep in an alley, who would've thought that that alley was the same alley I would die in.

Those long nights when I couldn't sleep I would remember what Uncle Renny told me.
I would sing the song all day long and all night till I was able to fall asleep.

I was starting to come to a conclusion that I couldn't sleep out on the streets no more.
So I planned on going back to school just not the same school because I don't want to be tanieyah anymore I'm tired of being weak.

But before I go back to school I have to go back to Uncle Renney.I walked nonstop everyday and night because I couldn't fight off these nightmares. The voices in my head taunted me.
"Kill yourself "
"Your worthless"
"You'll never get out of the streets"
"You'll never be accomplish anything "
"Your worthless "
But I kept on going because I'm not tanieyah no more I'm a special Diamond.

When I finally reached Uncle Rennys house I used my spare key to get in. When I walked everything was gone. I can't believe he would do this to me the time when I needed him the most.I stared into a never ending darkness as I slid my back down the door and I on to the floor. I felt so defeated.
I started giving in to the voices in my head after my second month sleeping on Uncle Rennys floor.

When I couldn't stand staring into the darkness no more I walked to my mother's house and with a spare key I opened the door and walked in.As I stepped in all the memories of the rapings and the beatings came crashing in.The feeling was unbearable and I couldn't cope with it so I went into the fridgerater and seen it empty just like it was before but there was the same aluminum foil that my mom once used to get rid of her pain.

I slowly removed it from the fridge and unwrapped it with trembling fingers I started sniffing the drug.It felt so good to be able to stop the pain that was slowly killing me inside. As I fell into a deep a sleep I thought heard the door open then shut but before I good regain consciousness I passed out...

The next morning I woke up no lights were open it was still quite and dark. I decided to take the aluminum foil with me just in case I find myself calling upon. As I stepped out off the ran down looking apartment I seen pee all on the floor Wow I thought to my self this place never changes.

There was three weeks before my birthday I couldn't bring myself any happy memories of my birth so I decided not to celebrate it.
Instead of celebrating I'm going to try and with draw from my home school to another.

"Can I borrow your phone" I asked the lady
"Sure why not "she responded
She reached into her purse and pulled out her iPhone and put in her password than handed it to me.
I stood there trying to remember my friends Amys number.
*FLASHBACK*
Third day of kindergarten and I still haven't made any friends yet I thought to myself.

"OK kids choose a partner we're going to do this coloring project "
And as soon as she said that all the kids went running in every which direction meeting up with their new friends while I stood there all alone.
I felt a tap on the shoulder from behind and I slowly turned around only to see a short light skinned girl my age.
"Do you want to work together? "
"Sure "I said with a huge smile plastered on my face.

After that we became bestfriends we exchanged phone numbers went to eachothers houses and played around.
"Call me whenever you need me I'll be there"
"Okay then I'll call you everysingle day"
One day I went over to Amy's house I knocked for hours but there wasn't no answer so I headed back home later on I found out she moved. That's when my mom told me that Amy moved away because she was being a bad kid and that's I shouldn't speak to her nomore so I obeyed her and I never spoke to Amy again.
*Flashback Ending *

"Are you going to call someone or not because I have things to do"
"Sorry I was just trying to remember her number "
I never forgot Amy's number I just never really found a good reason to contact her.
I hope it still works cause I need her right now.

The phone was ringing for a couple of minutes until I heard a males voice on the other end it was kind of deep almost unrecognizable.
"Is that you Lewis "
"Yea and who is this "
"It's tanieyah Amys old friend"
"Omg tanieyah we haven't heard from you in months how have you been? "
"I'm not doing to well"
"You need me to come pick you up?"
"Please do"
And just like that I told him the address and he picked me up.