The Reason I Died

Im a special" Diamond"

Staying at Uncle Renny was fun I was able to watch Tv. Play on the play grounds and do what normal kids do. I finally felt normal.
The first movie I watched was Cadillac Records it was breath taking it was inspiring it made me want to sing.my favorite song from the movie was when Beyonce sung "ALL I COULD DO WAS CRY"
but I didn't see it as losing a man, my input on the song was me losing myself.

Uncle Renny walked in and noticed me singing he was astounded he didn't know I could sing like that.
As he walked in to my performance he clapped and I stopped singing.
"Don't stop "he said.
"That was beautiful, anytime you're in a dark place just sing your pain away "he said.

I learned the lyrics in one week now it was time for me to go because Uncle Renny was going out of town for a month.when he told me this news I wanted to cry, but I didn't because he promised me he'd be back.I knew better then to believe in promises, but he seemed so sincere how could I not believe him.

Before he dropped me off at home he spoke and he said
"Your a special Diamond; you will never break no matter how much you've been dropped or thrown around. you'll always be wanted"
I didn't understand what he meant by that, but I hugged him and left out the car.As soon as I entered the apartment the hallways once again smelled like pee; I decided to be a little bit more careful this time and not slip and fall.

I knocked on the door multiple times and there was no answer, so I looked for the spare key under the welcome mat. than I opened the door as I walked in, I seen my mom's body on the floor she had white stuff all up her nose. I just stared for a few minutes. I wanted her to die, but the weak side of me kept on telling me to call for help. so I did call for help; she was released from the hospital after a week.

I cleaned every inch of the house so when she walked In she wouldn't slap me around. Three or four minutes after I got done cleaning I heard keys jingling. back then I would've thought it was Santa clause, but now I know exactly who it is on the other side of that door. she walked in mugging me and pushed pass me no, Thank you, no nothing.

She headed straight for the fridgerater and removed a aluminum foil; she unwrapped it slowly. I looked over her shoulder; I could see some white type of powdery stuff. Of course at the time I didn't know what it was. I was only thirteen years old.

She started sniffing it up her nose, and the pain that I had seen in her eyes when she walked in was all gone. All I could see now was anger.
She yelled and screamed for no reason at all then she offered me some; I told her no, then she said
"It's nothing baby it'll help take the pain away like It did for momy all you have to do is sniff it, or I will beat the black off of you"
Being a little kid who couldn't handle anymore  physical abuse; I took a long hard sniff of it. Soon as I did my nose started itching and everything seemed kinda funny to me, but at least my pain went away. For once I felt alright.

So I laid back on the couch and drifted into a deep sleep. The next morning I woke up to the senser alarm ringing. I ran into the kitchen only to find mom layed out on the floor, I figured that putting out the fire was more relevant than her so I took the fire extinguisher and blew it out.

Than I had to go and help my mom. I see pills, white powdery stuff, a spoon, a needle,a belt tied around her arm and hot boiling water.I shook her, but she refused to wake up. I tried and listen  for a heart beat, but there wasn't any rhythm so I started to panic. I called the ambulance and just like before they had to get her to the hospital, but this time I knew she wasn't coming back alive.

I was all alone, no siblings, uncle, father,or mother.I'm going to have kids in the future; I thought to myself, maybe I won't feel so alone after that.I'll be a better mother than she ever was, or so I thought.

I couldn't let the Foster people take me away. I have to run as far away as possible; I need a new name,new people, new school, I thought to myself.
As I ran into the darkness with a small duffel bag I thought back to what my uncle said
"Your a special Diamond you will never break no matter how much you've been dropped or thrown you'll always be wanted"
So I thought I'd find my uncle then change my name to Diamond.