Break All the Rules (LGBT) ✅

Break All the Rules 13

Part 13

They'd had plans for this summer.

Freddie had talked about interrailing, travelling through Europe and visiting the most beautiful cities. They were going to explore the cultures of obscure countries, get off the beaten track and meet the locals and sample the cuisine. And Alex had never been much of a traveller but he'd been entranced with the idea.

The only thing that'd stopped him was the worry of summer retakes, because quantitative modelling really was a bitch, and though he'd passed, he was glad for his hesitation. It meant that, when things were weird between them, they hadn't committed to a summer together. And, now things were non-existent between them, it meant Alex could run away from his problems.

Thankfully, he'd made a few applications for holiday jobs and he got a couple of weeks away from home working with at summer camp. It was long, busy days but it was fun, the kids taking his mind off his other worries and it felt like a reprieve away from real life.

At camp, he didn't have the time to check his social media and see Sean being the doting boyfriend, he didn't have to watch as Freddie made new memories with his old friends and forgot about him, he didn't have to see them being this perfect couple he already knew they were. So he didn't look.

Alex threw himself into work and, when it was over, he hung out with his sixth form friends and they got drunk on nights out and relaxed in the pub. When they couldn't meet up, because of jobs or holidays or whatever, he played games or he read and, notably, he even spent a week learning his grandma's old crochet patterns.

"I'm not sure," he said tentatively, holding up his material, "but I might have made a scarf."

She'd always been encouraging and, even as she reached to hold the scarf in her hands, the stitches of the basic pattern too tight in one area and too loose in another, she smiled. "It's perfect."

He grinned, "Yeah? Will you wear it?"

"With pride. All the other ladies at my book club will be jealous."

It was a bold faced lie and Alex called her out on it. "You don't have to, I wouldn't put you through that."

She shook her head. "Nonsense. You've worked hard on it and, while it's not the most beautiful, it's the most precious."

"Thanks, gran."

"I've always found crochet to be relaxing. It's a bit tricky at the start but the repetitive motions help you to clear your mind and think. And, when you came to me, it looked like you needed that."

He started, surprised. "I—"

"We can talk about it," she said kindly, no pressure, "or I can teach you the double stitch."

She hadn't fully finished her sentence before Alex blurted, "I fucked up with my soulmate."

"Oh, sweetheart." And there was sympathy in her eyes, and just that.

Because grandma had always been on his side, even when he was in the wrong, and she'd defend him from the world. His mum used to complain it'd leave him spoilt, and maybe it had because he'd been so selfish the past few months. Maybe he deserved this.

"I'll make cocoa," she said, "and you can tell me as much or as little as you want."

So, over hot chocolate and cake, he told her everything, starting from the beginning. It didn't paint him in the best light but he knew she wouldn't judge him. Instead, she listened and made all the right noises and, when he finished, she said what he needed to hear.

"You're not a bad person, Alex."

"Are you sure? It sure feels like I am."

"No, you're not." She said firmly. "Sometimes bad things happen for no reason and you shouldn't shoulder the blame for that."