The Girl Who Disappeared

Empty House, Empty Heart

She sat there on the old porch swing looking at an empty house, feeling just as empty herself. Why had she told him to go she asked her self? She loved him-she was in love with him- and it scared her. It scared her that she felt more at home in his arms than she ever had in her own house. It scared her to think that there was any emotion this powerful.
It was all she could do not to run to the nearest pay phone, dial his number and beg him to come back, but she couldn't do that. Val knew how smart he was. Jace had been receiving emails from colleges since ninth grade practically begging him to apply. He needed to finish his education. To be something. That was what was best for him. She simply didn't want to hinder him. She loved him entirely too much.
With nothing else to do she picked up a bottle of greenapple vodka, twisted the lid off and drank. She'd kept her drinking and smoking to a minimum and well hidden. She'd started when she was around 13. She hadn't told Jace because she knew how worried he would've been. He'd always cared so much about her, and she could never understand why. She remembered over hearing Jace 's mom tell him that he should stay away from her bc she was a bad influence. His mom was right. Val got him in trouble on several occasions. Skipping school, sneaking out, pranks. Things like that. But eventually Val and Theresa (Jace's mom) learned to tolerate each other. She'd even let Val spend the night in a couple occasions so long as she slept in the couch. Val missed being a kid. She missed when things were simple.
Her heart yearned to go back and couldn't. At this point no matter how drunk she got she just couldn't seem to forget everything, but she tried, and she drank til she couldn't see straight and couldn't walk and her head was busting. But the memories were still there.
And so for the first time in about a year she found herself on her knees sobbing. Sobbing and praying, which only felt like shouting down a long, dark, empty tunnel, with no one on the other side to answer her. She turned to the only other option she knew. She pulled a razor from her bag and carved lines into her skin. Shades of Crimson ran across her lightly tanned skin and stained the ground around her. She bled out her misery, and then she just felt numb. She felt empty.