The Push Away

What Happened?

So guess what? After the awkward drive home I ran into Sam who sat on my steps angrily. I sigh as I get out the car and Jacob just goes straight in the house without even speaking to me or Sam.
    "Where have you been? Why didnt you answer your phone?" he asks angrily. This kind of pisses me off considering that he acts like he owns me.
   "I was with Jacob. Chill." I say walking past him and to the steps.
   "What do you mean chill? You have no idea how worried I was!" he says raising his voice.
   "I appreciate your concern and all but its absolutely none of your concern." I say with anger.
    "As your boyfriend, its plenty of my concern! You disappear off with the guy everyone thinks your screwing!" He yells. I step back a little and look at him with a hurt face.
    "Sense when has that ever been a problem? He fucking lives with me." I say.
"Because Drew. You're the only one he hasnt knocked off and you already know I hate him!" he says.
    "So what are you saying? You think if hes alone with me he'll get me?" I ask offended.
   "No, Drew Im saying hes manipulating." He says trying to reason.
    "No. I dont think you are, Sam. I think you're saying I'm weak minded and that you don't trust me." I say just about ready to kick his ass.
    "Stop taking it that way. I just dont want you hanging with him. I dont like his intentions. Your a 15 year old girl. When a boy gets in her head hes in there." He says.
    "Are you fucking serious right now? I wont even let my dad tell me what to do, you think I'll let you? And what does my age have to do with anything? You know what you got into when you started dating me! Plus you're my boyfriend....not my superior. Wait. Let me rephrase that, you were my boyfriend." I say pissed and walk in my house ingoring his calls.
Jacob sat at the foot of the couch as I walked in. He was playing with a football and looking down at the floor. I didn't even speak, I just walked upstairs and rushed to my room. As soon as I fell on the bed tears streamed down my cheek. There was no sobbing. No lump in throat. Just tears. I wasn't sad because I was single. I was sad because I liked him a lot and Im going through a lot and hes the person I would go to, but now hes just being a jerk out of no where.
  Im sad because when I finally trust someone, who I sacrificed my whole life style for has finally showed me how he really feels.
     And I can't bare it. And now that I've finally realised why Im crying, the sobbing starts, that lump in the throat begins and I feel like it wont stop. It hurts....a lot.
   I always thought you had to be stupid to cry over a boy. I used to think that I could never get heart broken but I was so wrong. The sobs got louder and eventually someone noticed.
    "Drew?" a voice calls. I didnt really recognize it over the loud sobs of my own voice.
   "Drew. Whats wrong?" A voice asks again. I dont responde.
    "Im coming in." they say and moments later Jacob comes along.
     "Drew? Whats wrong?" He asks concerned. He sits next to me and looks at me, I can feel it. I just cant look up.
   "Talk to me." He says.
   "Why? So you can act like you care, and get me yo open up just so you can be a jerk after and think its all okay because Im head over hills for you? Well its not going to work. It happened. Ive learned...just get out." I say. I dont even know why I said that. He didnt deserve that. Sam did.
    "No." He says firmly. Im kind of happy he said that.
   "Jacob...I fucked up. I opened up to somebody and I fucked up! What else is there to say?" I ask. Jacob sighs and puts an arm around me.
    "Everybody does it." He says. I finally look up.
    "Have you?" I ask. Curious.
  "I think its happening currently. Well I know Im opening up to someone. I dont think im going to fuck up though. Maybe just good luck." He says with a chuckle. Which makes me chuckle.
  "Jacob...finds a girl? Not just a bang buddy?" I ask surprised.
    "Yeahhh. Im getting tired of the sleaze thing and the constant check ups. Plus shes a real catch. Smoking hot, long pretty hair, shes a kick ass, and she fights for what she believes in." He says.
    "Kim Possible?" I ask jokingly.
    "Ha ha ha very funny, weren't you like crying over a stupid boy?" he says.
    "Was. Thanks Jacob." I say.
   "For what?" He asks.
   "Cheering me up with the hilarious joke of you not being a fuck boy." I say. He gasps and clutches his chest in faint hurt.
    "Im serious." He says.
   "Who?" I ask daringly.
   "None of your business." He says. I roll my eyes and point at the door.
   "Bye now I need to sleep." I say.
   "Me too." he says. When I thought he was leaving he rolled my body towards the wall and got under the covers. I looked at him baffled for a minute then pushed him off.
   "Ow. Stop. You slept on my bed why cant I sleep on yours?"  He asks.
   "Because you were not on the bed while I was sleeping on it." I say.
   "Big whoop Im not going to try anything. I just want to sleep." He says pushing me over again.
   "What if somebody walks in?" I ask.
   "They'll be in for a huge surprise." He says laying down again.
    I groan and just throw a pillow over my head. Ignoring the fact that Jacob is in my bed. Before I know it I dozed off.
    """""""""""""""""""""""
As I wake I feel heavy breathing on my ear which spookes me the fuck out. I jump in fright and turn to see Jacob's face millimeters away from mine.
   I try to move but when I do he pulls me closer which means our noses are now touching and if I get just a little closer we'd be kissing.
  I start to get nervous because I dont want to be this close but I dont want to pull away because that will lead to our faces being smushed together. I fidget around carefully but it didnt work because he pulled me closer again but I was quick to turn my head so his lips were now on my neck.
I was now completely uncomfortable.
   "Jacob?" I called. No answer.
   "Jacob!" I said a little louder. This time I felt his eyelashes move on my neck as he took a deep breath of my freaking neck.
    "You smell nice." he says in a husky sleepy voice.
   When he talked his breath blew on my neck which made me twitch.
  I felt him smirk on neck and I frowned.
   "Can you let go of me?" I ask. His smirk turns into a smile and he pulls me even closer kissing my neck. I have no idea what just happened but my whole body shuttered. Okay that was the most awkward thing thats ever happened to me. I finally gather the strength to pull away and when I did I saw the smirk instead of feeling it and it was uncomfortable. I could tell I was blushing but I coulsnt hide it because my hair was in a bun.
     "What time was it?" I ask taking the attention off my red cheeks.
   "15 after midnight." He says. I groan and get out of bed. My dad should be getting home around one or two.
   "What?" He asks confused getting out of bed with me.
   "My dad should be home soon so I have to get ready to face his raft." I say completely panicked.
   "Plus Im hungry." I add.
   "Hide in my room and I'll get snacks?" He suggests.
   "I cant hide from him anymore. He might just send out a missing persons report.
    "So what are you going to do?" He asks.
   "I'm going to pack my bags ahead of time and put them on the roof." I reply.
   "And go where?" He asks concerned.
   "A Motel or something." I say.
  "Alone? I dont think so." He says.
    "I'll be fine! Plus, we don't know if it will come to that anyway."
   "Drew. Hes not going to kick you out for doing something you love." He says.
    "I'm quitting glee." I say.
   "What?"
"I'm quitting."
    "Drew, you can't...you're an amazing singer. I saw the way you glew up when you were on that stage. You can't take that away from yourself." He says. It warms my heart but he just doesnt understand.
    "Im just not ready to lose my dad over this. Plus, Sam is there and..." I am cut off by Jacob.
    "Fuck Sam! He's nothing! Just think of him as your teammate." He says kind of angrily.
   "...Sam...he meant a whole lot to me okay? And its going to take a while to get over it! He's the first boy I've ever really liked and the first boy that has ever liked me just as much...at least I think." I say feeling down again about it and sat on the bed.
    "Sam is a controlling jerk who will never give out as much feelings as your heart can because you have the biggest heart there is. Its really hard to top that but its like he doesnt even try. You deserve better." Jacob says looking me straight in the eye.
   "But hes the one who helped me join glee." I say in defense. I really dont even know why.
    "Oh my god, Drew youre impossible! Hes also the one who is making you question staying there! And the one being a judgemental jerk to you! Are you having trouble getting over him or giving up on him?!" He says angrily.
    I got pissed and stood up and got in his face.
   "Its really none of your business Jacob! Can a girl be confused?!" I ask.
    He steps even closer to me and leans down so we are face to face.
    "You shouldnt be when someone is right in your face trying so hard to get you to notice, to get you to open up to them and all you can talk about is your idiot ex boyfriend." He says quietly and leans closer. Im shocked. Am I the girl Jacob was talking about?
   "J-Jacob I..." I trail off as I notice his eyes look down to my lips.
   I automatically look down at his and he looks back at my eyes. I couldnt look away. Suddenly I felt arms around my waists lefting me to my tip toes and pulling me to his chest.
    "Please just kiss me." Jacob says in a whisper. This makes me shiver. I really dont know whats been going on lately but Jacob always makes me shiver. I slowly nod and lean closer. Our lips connect and everything in my head clears. All I think about is right here right now. As we kissed I feel something new. My heart is beating at a fast pace and Im sure I can hear it.
My hands shoot up all of a sudden and I rub my fingers through his hair, making him pull me closer. Ive never really had a kiss like this. Yes, Sam and I have kissed plenty of times, but he never kissed with all this passion and I neither to him.
      When Jacob finally pulled away he looked....happy. He was slightly smiling to himself and he slowly looked up to see my observing eyes.
    His smile grew bigger and he pulled my close again.
    "I like you. I like you more than I've ever liked anyone. I dont know what you do to me...but I really love it." He says with a quirky smile looking me in the eyes. I blush and smile at him. I dont know what to say so I just peck his lips again.
   What is going to happen now? I dont know, but for now I'll just stay in his arms.