Ginger

Leslie's Secret

"Leslie what's the matter?" Rwar asked me quietly as we approached her building.

"Nothing, I'm just thinking Rawr." I muttered.

"What about?"

"Just thoughts. Do you have a spare bed? You know somewhere I could sleep tonight" I asked gruffly

"Uh, I thought we could sleep together tonight....." Her voice trailed off saying it like a sentence but phrasing it like a question.

I turned and waited patiently for her to open the door. "Rawr, I don't mean to seem like an ass, but tomorrow is bound to be stressful and we haven't talked in five years. I don't think the place I belong is with you between your sheets"

She entered the house quiet, and turned and went into the bathroom. I could hear her small sobs coming from the small room. I had to. I had to lie to her, she couldn't know about Lily-Ann. I knocked gently on the door.

"Do you need anything Rawr?" I asked through the doorway knowing what she needed the most, and I couldn't give her that.

"Just go away. There are blankets and pillows in the closet of the spare bedroom" She said her voice muffled and hazy through her tears and the bathroom door. Gently I leaned my head against the door.

Dear god Leslie. Why are you such an idiot? Why not just let the past fade. No I had to come here and open old wounds. Why hadn't I just stayed home? I had everything there!

Slowly I moved towards the door that led to her spare room and slowly made the bed. I heard Aura leave the washroom and sit on the couch, clearly hoping my mind would change.

"Good night Aura sleep well beautiful" I said to her through the closed door as I undressed to sleep. I stood there a minute in my boxers knowing what I wanted to do, how badly I wanted to do it....

But I couldn't. Lily-Ann was my present, while Aura was my past. It was so frustrating though, every time I thought I'd moved on there was something from the past holding me there. I had loved Aura with a deep burning passion; this was a girl I could really make a home with. Then Talon told me the truth. How beautiful Aura was .. One of the. How do you say a word you hate so much to describe someone you love so much? She was considered an undesirable. When Talon told me this I was 18 and stupid. I ran out on them. 

I ran all night; I only stopped when the rise took the east. I watched a town for a few hours, my heart beating in my chest. A couple of drunken idiots walked past me without realizing I was there. I stayed in that town for a few days. When I got back to the village she was gone I finally found her a few months later.  

She was holed up with some prick from the enemy, the very people who wanted her dead and had killed her brother and mother. The very type of man who had deserted a small woman with two infants because they had been born with red hair, Aura didn’t know that part. About how her father abandoned her Mother and brother, she didn’t remember the man Talon had told me about. That was the type of man she had chosen. Over me, a man who had fought side by side with her! Who knew her from the time she was small, the type of man who knew the truth about her and wouldn't kill her over it. The type of man who had ran out on her..  

So I moved on, I finished school and got deeper and deeper into the resistance. I was working undercover when I met the soft and beautiful Lily-Ann. She was everything that Aura wasn't. Soft, happy, easy going. She was full of laughter and smiles. Lily-Ann was the type of person who everyone liked and smiled at, simply because she was beautiful. With Lily-Ann you just forgot her father was one of the leaders who tried to kill red headed people. 

One night about six monthsor so ago I got a call from my undercover position. Talon was dead. He'd been shot. Talon had been missing his little girl, who only I knew the truth about. A day or so before he died he asked for me, so they called me off of my mission to go to him. Eagerly I went, hopeful that he would tell me that she loved me and had wanted to leave dick head for me. 

On the way to see Talon I realized that I didn't want that. I loved Lily-Ann. I made my mind up to tell him to say no to her. That I didn't care at all about her, I knew this wasn't true but I couldn't face Aura again after what happened, because at this point I hadn't known Talon was shot, or that he was dead. 

I called Lily-Ann the night he died and told her I would be home soon as possible but my uncle had passed away and I had to find his daughter to notify her. Lily-Ann asked if she could come. I told her no, because Talon had given me a weapon against Aura and I wanted the truth of the past out of her. Not because I had feelings for her still, no at that time I did not realize I did. 

I knew that I had to get answers from Aura, at the same time I knew our meeting would be violent and messy. I knew that Aura still hurt and she would never trust Lily-Ann, and that even I would be too much for her, so I told Lily-Ann no. Now I wonder if it had been because I do have feelings for Aura still. 

Through the thin walls that Aura had in her apartment I could hear her cry. I yearned to enter her room and hold her. I fingered the ring in my pocket, the one I planned to give Lily-Ann. I stood and went to her sliding doors and stepped onto Aura's deck. What could I do? Sleep with Aura and possibly destroy Lily-Ann. Ignore Aura and leave now. Lay on that stupid bed and try and sleep?

I opened my phone and called Lily-Ann. 

"Hello?" a sleepy voice answered

"Lily-Ann, it's me."

"Les?" It always annoyed me when she called me that, only one person called me that and I did not want connections like that between them.

"Leslie" 

"Did you find her? Are you coming home?" her voice sounded so hopeful I felt bad about my next lie.

"No, I haven't found her Lily-Ann. I can't come home until I do. I just wanted to call and hear your voice. I'll let you go back to sleep Lily-Ann."

"I love you Les...lie" she whispered. She was unhappy I was off chasing some cousin of mine. I knew it and she knew I knew it, but she would never admit it. Not under the threat of death or anything. That's just who Lily-Ann was.

"You too girl" I said, knowing she wanted to hear me say I love you too. But at this point I wasn't sure if I did love her back. I hung up the phone and turned to go back in. Thinking better of it I called her back. She didn't answer and I knew she was crying so I left a message.

"Lily-Ann, I'm sorry. I love you. I'm under so much stress thanks to my old uncle. He told me to find her and tell her. I'm the only one left Lily-Ann. Please forgive me for not coming home right now. I love you. Sleep well" I hung up before I could think better of it. 

While Lily-Ann needed me, Aura needed me more. I needed to be with her for the next few days. Not because of my feelings for her, but because she'd lost her father.