You're the Music of My Heart

Nine: Assuring, Reassuring, and Doubting

When your parents' first rule was "Don't turn gay" after graduating high school, you really get pissed off. Well, for me at least. Unlike Marco, I hadn't been able to say anything about being gay. In more honesty, people probably thought I was more homophobic than homosexual. Especially high school year.

My parents sent me to a super rich ass private high school and I often bullied on kids that were gay. Some of them weren't but a good portion of them were. I didn't realize how bad I was until I saw Marco's pain a while ago. The way he bent over and cried in pain covering his face with his trembling hands and not being able to defend himself. I think most of the people I bullied felt that way one way or another. It made me sick and horrified.

When I got up, I saw Connie had left a box of doughnuts on the counter for later but I figure they'd go stale so I plucked a few from it. They actually were pretty good, must be fresh.

I had plans to see Marco again. We'd only been good friends for a couple of weeks but in those weeks I learned so much about myself and other people that I began to question my identity for the last 20 goddamn years. I wasn't just in love with Marco, I was enamored, infatuated. I actually learned a lot about him.

He sneezed with a cute voice which was obviously unintentional, he had even considered joining the military, he played the piano since he was 5 and the violin since 7, he is one of the only people that actually eats barbecue flavored chips, he's never drank before, his mom was from Italy while his dad was from Germany, he went to bed every night at 9:30 or 10:30 tops, his brother goes to NYU, his birthday is June 16. He is totally a briefs guy over boxers. He wanted to be an interior home designer at first but kept music, and he even sleep talks sometimes. It's really freaking cute.

Yeah, I learned a WHOLE lot about him.

The more the day went on, I kept thinking about him more and more. I also heard about his trip to Austria for world's and I was kind of jealous. But I had this creeping thought in the back of my head and I knew that Marco was going to hate me so much for doing this to him, but...

I was going to buy tickets to go to Austria to support Marco. I was absolutely fucking going to go with him. Especially when I found out it was during Christmas break.

You see, me and my parents argued a lot. They weren't happy that I went to art school nonetheless not going to law school or anything of high social status. They expected Ivy League or a Catholic school but come on, that's so freaking dumb. They weren't happy I wasn't in honors, that I pierced my ears, that I had been suspended for beating up some kid, yeah, the list goes on...and on...and on. I just sucked as a son at the absolute tipping point.

They also make me visit and stay during Winter break but all we do is argue and lecture so going to Austria with Marco was the absolute best deal ever. Besides, I think he'll appreciate my company, right? ... Right?

I was going to break the news to him and it also was the last week before the trip. I was hoping he'd be fine.-

When he came back from school (I sound like my mom ugh), I invited him over to hang out. We were normally just going to watch a movie or play video games (another thing I learned, he never played them and he's terrible but it's cute!) and then tell him. At this rate, I felt like we knew we liked each other but couldn't possibly break it just yet. He screamed homo, I screamed homo, we all screamed homo.

Although I assured myself this was a great idea, I began to doubt it. Was it overboard? Just creepy? Would it give it away that I liked him so much? What would my parents think of it? All of the what if's kept circling my mind but at this rate, I would screw me and everyone else and just stick with the plans.

As I for once cleaned/tidied up my dorm, I heard a knock at the door. I put two big bowls of barbecue chips (I'm a sneaky bitch XD) and some pretzels (cuz they're great) on the tables next to the video games and TV and walked to the door opening it.

"Hey! C'mon in!" He walks in and I blush at his outfit. Because it was cold out, he had a black quilted jacket (not what you think it is), a gray beanie, a periwinkle cardigan, his usual white Converses and a giant gray scarf wrapped around his neck, just under his hipster glasses. It was so badly sexy. Or just cute. Yeah, cute. He even had a pair of skinny jeans on so his ass looked huge in it but I don't think he realized it. He's pretty naïve but it was adorable. Damn it, Jean.

"What's the occasion?" he asks, referring to the chips and drinks out. "Oh there's nothing." I say scratching my back. He folds his arms. "You sure?" ".....Yeeepppp....." I look away and fix my ruffled hair. "What's up, Jean?" he says. Normally he's not so observant but I was surprised how quickly he picked up.

"So, I know you and the orchestra are going to Austria... and I really wanted to support you and see you play... so I'm going to Austria with you...?" He immediately start to laugh followed by a huge grin.

"Are you sure about that?" he asks. "We leave in a week." "Yeah I know. But I already booked a flight and some hotel rooms. Let's just say they perfectly match your itinerary." He gapes dumbfoundedly. "No way, how did you even-" I twirl a pretzel rod in my hand. "It's a secret, my friend."

He walks over to me a gives me a hug and I can hear him laughing again. "Wow! That's really awesome!" I grin and my heart flutters. Making him happy is like the chocolate ganache on a strawberry buttercream pound cake; it was just perfect. He still holds his hand over his mouth in pure awe. "W-wow... So we get to see all of the churches, and mountains, and meadows, and town squares together... That's great!" I blush at his remark pretty damn heavily.

Fortunately, things clearly hit off well and I was just stoked for our not so private trip to Vienna together.

So I felt like if I never finished this chapter, I would be in another terrible writers block so I forced myself to pull through with this. Stay classy! -Andrew