YuZhou Addicted

Reel or Real - Real?

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He stands at the edge of the precipice - unable to move forward, unable to move back.

All he knows is that he is also standing beside him - his first man, if only a leading man.

Fame and fortune both followed them in the aftermath of the roles they played. He knew himself before all this. But after? He is drowning in memories of intimate play, of lips he wouldn't have kissed, of holding a body close he didn't know then he'd actually want to, long after they called out "Cut!"

Maybe it should be enough for now, standing this close to the edge. He's not alone anyway. Whether he'd eventually jump or fall, doesn't matter now, not when who mattered is still here beside him.

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Weizhou threw the pen down, trembling with frustration. Writing lyrics had never become this painful. At least until now.

The melody's been done and all he needed to do is write the song. But what he needed to write for the contract and what song he had in his head right now are two different things. If his mind insisted on writing those words for the particular melody, he'd have to compose another melody altogether to fulfill the contract.

He picked up his lead guitar, immediately strumming a rock song riff, taking out his frustration on the only things that soothed his soul - his music and his strings. He didn't care how loud he was plucking the chords nor amplifying reverbs as he played. For a while, the song in his head quietened. Until he realized he was playing the rock version of the same darned song. He harmlessly dropped the guitar onto the sofa.

He picked up the pen again, rubbing his wrists. Defeated, he knew the song wouldn't write itself any other way. He'd just have to come up with an excuse to not release this one, and try to compose another song.

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Jingyu stared at the caller ID. It's 3 AM where he is now, and he knows Weizhou isn't even in the same country with him. Apparently off in Seoul with Chen Wen doing god knows what. So why is he calling this early morning?

"Hello?" he hesitantly placed the phone to his ear after pressing Answer.

"Jingyu!" Weizhou chirped happily back at him. Jingyu feels the tightness in his chest slowly unwind at that sound - he didn't realize he was even barely breathing before Weizhou called. "You sound awake," Weizhou continued, "was I right thinking you're still awake?"

Jingyu really tried not to sigh. "Had schedules up until 2 AM. Been immediately back to the hotel, but I've not yet fallen asleep."

"You okay?"

Weizhou. Dear, dear Weizhou. Jingyu shouldn't even have expected the guy to be mindful of Jingyu's sensibilities. Jingyu may be slow at times, but he thinks he knows where this call came from. Can he not even say what's on his mind now without certain people reacting, most specially Weizhou?

"Why did you call, Weizhou?" he didn't realize his voice sounded clipped, nor the question abrupt, not until he realized Weizhou went quiet on the other line. "I'm sorry, I meant..."

"You don't think you can call me when you need to talk?" The quiet voice that finally came through punched Jingyu in the gut more painfully than it should have. "Or maybe because we don't have shared interests that you think our work is the only interest I wanted to share with you?" Jingyu wanted to melt at what he thinks is already a tirade from Zhouzhou - the guy was throwing back at him word for word what he had said in that interview, and what he had sung with that song.

"Zhouzhou, it was just an interview. I was so exhausted I didn't realize what I was saying..."

"Good thing you remembered to call me Zhouzhou," Weizhou impatiently chipped back in. "For a while there I thought I was relegated back to being just a coworker instead of, I don't know, the fake boyfriend, who by the way, has a lot of things to say about that interview. Just because I don't want to talk jujitsu doesn't mean I was never interested in you doing the sport - or did you conveniently forget who you used to practice on? Did I complain? Or is that really how you feel about us, considering that what you said out of exhaustion is the truth?" Weizhou huffed at the other end of the line, obviously irritated.

Unseen, Jingyu hung his head. He had really wanted to take back what he said in that interview but with his sluggish mind, he had taken the question for its literal meaning, and leaving out what he and Weizhou actually shared between them because it was something personal. Add in to the mix the control they needed to overcome the ban, Jingyu didn't want to come across as sharing something more special with Weizhou.

"Anyway, I didn't call about that," Weizhou impatiently talked again what with Jingyu still staying quiet - Jingyu thinks he could detect a nervousness in Weizhou's voice. "Ask Xiaolong-ge to start waking you up as part of his duties - you can't be expected to remember every schedule - that's his job. Your job is to get in as much rest as possible, so do that - sleep while you're in the car or the waiting room - you're not expected to always look good if there's no camera rolling. Which reminds me, get your car windows tinted so you don't have to worry about fanpersons taking pics while on your downtime. And get back to retraining with jujitsu - you do have exercises you can do without a partner? You look gaunt and exhausted from where I can see you from Seoul, and let me tell you, thin doesn't look nice on you. Oh, and eat up - don't mind the fats now, be fat while you're not yet building up back all those muscles. If there's one thing I learned with gym, a body like yours which is used to strength training needs to maintain it, otherwise you drop weight fast, gain weight fast, and it does something to your brain that gets you depressed. So no, the fame and its demands isn't in your head - it's your body signaling something's out of whack." Weizhou huffed again.

Jingyu was surprised to feel the smile stretch his jaw. Maybe a Zhouzhou tirade every now and then is good for his soul. "Ok, baobei," he sweetly replied, ignoring the choking sound at the other line. "I heard you. I will do that first thing later when I wake up. Happy now?"

"Jingyu, I didn't mean to sound like you should be doing what I say..."

"Zhouzhou, it's alright - I realize I need to get out of my head once in a while, and I'm glad it's you who gets me out of it. And I didn't mean to put words in your mouth with that interview - I just didn't want them to delve more into what we do share because it's not something I'd like for everyone to know... I mean, I'd like to keep it to myself for awhile... I don't have that many friends in this career, and that I'd find one in you in such a short time is something I'm still getting used to, and relishing at my own time."

"Oh, I... sorry to have reacted this way then... but seriously, call me when you need to talk, ok? Or drop a message - don't be a stranger," Weizhou's voice sounded relieved now.

"I will." Jingyu suddenly yawned, finally feeling sleepy.

"Oh, sorry, I kept you up more than I should. You should sleep now."

"Hmmnn," Jingyu just mumbled. Though he was still awake when he asked, "Sing me to sleep?" Drat, he regretted that as soon as he asked, his eyes actually widening in the darkness of his hotel room.

"Will that even help?" was Weizhou's only reply, truly curious and just wanting to help, not even for a second wondering why Jingyu even asked.

"Yeah, maybe," Jingyu nonchalantly replied, desperately trying not to give Weizhou a hint that being sung to sleep is not a normal request even with close friends. "And you can use a rehearsal," Jingyu teased instead.

"Why you," Weizhou sputtered. "If you don't get to sleep by the end of this, I'll personally hunt you down and knock you unconscious, ungrateful twit." But he cleared his throat, and started to sing.

A calm invaded Jingyu, right down to what he thinks is his soul - he knows his singing is good, but the way Weizhou could control his voice with both technique and emotion is something he aspires to be able to do someday. A thought also tickled the back of his mind, not sure where he heard that song before. Then he stopped even trying to think, letting the much-needed languor invade his exhausted self.

He was asleep halfway into Weizhou's song, a soft purr of a snore punctuating over Weizhou's singing.

Weizhou chuckled. "Sweet dreams, Jingyu," he softly said before ending the call.

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