Lorien Legacies Stuff

Garde Jokes

By fourtheloveoflorien
Four: I think I tore a muscle. . .
Nine: You can't tear what you don't have.

Nine: *loses Sam in a crowd*
Nine: . . . Oh well,
Nine: *goes home*

Ella: Why was Six afraid of Seven?
Six: I'm not afraid of Seven.
Seven: Lol, Six. Everyone's afraid of Seven.
Five: Because she pokes out people's eyes?
Seven: Five, I swear-
Four: Because of her badass ice skills?
Eight: 'CUZ her eyes are so gorgeous?
Ella: Because Seven ate NINE!
Garde: . . .
Nine: . . . What the f*ck???

Sam: So, I heard you like bad boys.
Six: . . . Umm . . .
Sam: I don't mean to brag, but I do my math homework in PEN.
Six: . . . badass rebel.

Nine: Johnny!
Four: What?
Nine: Where's my pipe-staff?
Four: What?
Nine: Where! Is! My! Pipe! Staff!
Four: I, uh, put it away.
Nine: Where?
Four: Why do you need to know?
Nine: I need it!
Four: Uh-uh! Don't you even think about running off and doing no daring-do! We've been planning Capture the Flag night for two months!
Nine: The public is in danger!
Four: My EVENING'S in danger!
Nine: You tell me where my staff is, dammit! We are talking about the greater good!
Four: I am your BEST FRIEND! I'm the greatest good you ever gonna get!

Nine: Remember that time you dared me to lick the swing set?
Four: No, I said 'Nine, don't lick the swing set', and you said 'don't tell me what to do, Johnny,' and then you licked the swing set.
Nine: Oh.

GARDE FACEBOOK MESSENGER GROUP PHONE CHAT

Eight_the_teleporter
Hey, Nine, whats your number?

Nine_the_freakin_BOSS!!!
I don't have a phone,

4FIREBOMB
Nine, you dumbass.

Six: Nine, you're blocking the view.
Nine: Sweetheart, I AM the view.

Six: Did anyone ever tell you that your brilliant and charming?
Nine: . . . No.
Six: Then what the hell gave you the idea?

Ella: I'm sad.
Nine: Whenever I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead.
Ella: . . . that explains a lot.

Marina: *doing a crossword*
Marina: I need a 4-letter word for disappointment.
Nine: Five.
Five: . . .
Nine: . . .
Marina: . . .
Marina: . . . it fits.

Sam: My teacher told me beauty is on the inside.
Nine: That's just something ugly people say.

Setrakus Ra talking to the Garde.

Setrakus Ra: I'd say go to hell, but I don't want to see you again.

Sam: What do you do when you see someone really gorgeous?

Nine: I stare, I smile, then I put the mirror down.