Don't Go... Please...

Please, Please Read...

*takes deep breath* hey everybody. sorry for the long silence and with no word from me in awhile. I have a load of explaining to do...

so I had an ipod, generation 1, that I could have used to upload. problem; my mom took it and hid it while I was grounded awhile back and lost it.

my friend let me borrow her ipod for the summer. problem; I turned it off and it wouldn't turn back on so I gave it back to my friend so she could fix it. she said it happened all the time and it wasn't my fault. bigger problem; her mom said I couldn't have it back even though it happened all the time because she didn't want it to get broken.

I'm on my moms computer at 1:22 am (which she would kill me if she found out) just so I can let everyone know. I'm trying to use it as muh as I can so I don't end up with like 9,999+ notifications by the time the summer's over. but I can only check once a week or so. I'm so, so sorry to everyone, and I cant apologize enough for everything. 

I'm taking a long break from wattpad 'till everything clears up. all books are going to be put on hold, I cant reply to comments or PM's, I cant follow anyone, and I cant read new updates. I would do anything to have this any other way but I cant change the past. I don't know how long I will be gone. it may be a few days, a week, three weeks.... or it may be until I go back to school in August. I'm so sorry and I wish it were different.

Also I recently had to put my dog down that ive literally grown up with and found at least two, possibly three litters of kittens without homes. and I cant keep them because my mom is allergic. my favorite kitten from one of the litters of black kittens, Shadow, the runt, is missing. he was weaker and smaller and more delayed then the other three kittens, Comet, the oldest and meanest, Dawn, the fiery second oldest, and Star, the shy third born kitten.

I recently (a few days ago) found that one of the places where there were huge piles of leaves where the kittens lived had loads of flies swarming around it and the smell of a dead animal. This was two days after I discovered Shadow missing. I haven't been back since and I fear the worst, that Shadow may be dead. and even as I'm writing I'm crying.

I'm sorry, some people may be sitting here reading this and thinking, 'Oh man up! it's a cat you didn't even own, for crying out loud!' well I become easily attached to animals, and ive (possibly) lost two in the past MONTH!! no, THREE! I almost forgot about HERSHEY! my RABBIT that DIED a week BEFORE MY DOG!!

*sigh* I'm sorry about that. I miss Dash, (my dog) so damn much... I cried vacuuming his dog hair out of my room because I felt like I was taking all I have left of him and throwing it away, like my mom was trying to forget he was ever there in the first place.... But how to you forget a member of the family? Especially one you see in everyone (every dog) you see when you go outside? One who sat by the couch and let you pet them when you were home sick from school? Who you could tell anything to and they never told anyone, and always looked back at you... like they understood exactly what you were saying? How do you forget someone who let you hug them and cry until you couldn't cry anymore when you were fighting with your bestfriend? Who always.. *laughs sadly* picked the best choice when you held out your hands to represent different options for problems or even something as simple as what necklace to wear? Who laid with you to help you get to sleep every night? Who let you hug them through storms or power-outages when you were scared?

I'm sorry I got so off-topic here but I really needed to get all of that out...

My goodbye seems stupid at this point.. but as always I'll see you in the next chapter.. bye.. keep shinin' (for me!) stars... love you and goodbye everyone

-Starstream44