In My Life

Chapter 7

CHAPTER SEVEN

I close my eyes as the pain on my body is getting to a point that's it's almost unbearable. Papa hasn't said a word since I got in. Not one single word. But as they said; a picture's worth a thousand words. And I can clearly paint the picture of this scene.

"Papa," a little girl's voice shyly says.

Oh no. Azelma. She's not supposed to see this. Not now, anyways. Not at her age. At that age, you don't need to know what life has in store for you when you live with a man like Papa.

"Not now, Azelma," he harshly replies.

Finally, words come out of his mouth. In a weird sort of way, it feels good.

"But, Papa..."

"Azelma!"

He turns around in a flash and I finally spot the trembling little figure standing in the doorway, half hiding behind the slightly opened door.

"Go away, Azelma," I say.

Her eyes grow wide as she sees me, lying down on the floor, supporting myself with my left arm. But she quickly shakes her head and looks back at Papa.

"Someone wants to see Eponine, Papa, and he won't go away."

Papa starts to laugh.

"To see Eponine?" he lets out. "Who? Montparnasse I bet?"

"I... I don't know."

I feel my heart start beating faster in my chest.

"Well," Papa snarls. "Do you know his name?"

"Marius, I think. Says he needs to talk to her right away."

Papa shakes his head as he starts to roll down his sleeves. He approaches me as I raise my arm instinctively. He grabs it and shoves it away.

"You stay here," he tells me. "Don't move."

And with that he's gone, shoving Azelma out of the way. A few moments later, I see her peek her head back in the room.

"Eponine?" she asks, her voice trembling.

"I'm fine, Azelma."

"You don't look f-"

"Azelma," I snap. "Azelma, just go. Please..."

I make eye contact with her as she slowly nods and walks away. I sigh in relief and let myself collapse to the ground. I can't support myself anymore, I feel like all the energy has been drained out of my body.

"Just breathe," I tell myself. "It'll be okay."

I raise my right arm and look at all the bruises on it. I've never had that many at once, I believe.

And then I wonder; what is Marius doing here anyways? Didn't he just ignore me as we walked by about an hour ago?

"Eponine!" I hear a voice call out.

It's Papa. I scramble up to my feet and make my way to the door, biting my lip to help me from gasping in pain. I press myself against the wall to prevent my body from falling to the ground.

And when I turn the corner, I suddenly feel ashamed. Ashamed of myself. Of how I look. Of how I feel right now. Because now I see Marius looking at me in a way no one ever wants to be looked at. My heart feels like it's getting smaller and smaller as I make my way towards Papa and him.

"You know this young man?" Papa asks.

I look to the ground, refusing to make eye contact with him.

"I've seen him around," I answer under my breath.

"Okay. Go on. Get the hell out of here."

"What?"

"You heard me. This is no longer your home, Eponine."

I finally look at Marius again and see that he still seems in shock at seeing the state I'm in. I look back at Papa and realize that's he's holding a small brown bag. Even without opening it, I know what's in it.

"You..." I stutter. "You sold me?" I spin towards Marius. "And you bought me?" I burst out.

"Times are tough, 'Ponine," Papa simply answers.

Marius stays silent.

And now I just want to jump on Papa and take out all the frustration I've been building up against him since the first time he hit me.

"Fine," I say. "Have it your way."

And then I walk up to Papa, standing inches away from him.

"But listen to me," I tell him. "If you lay one single finger on Azelma and do to her what you did to me, I swear to God you'll regret it. Got it?"

He stays silent as I turn to leave. I walk out the door and slam it shut behind me. A few moments later, I hear it fly open again. It's probably stupid Marius coming out behind me.

"Eponine, wait!"

I spin around and he stops dead in his tracks.

"What?" I say.

"Just wait, let me explain."

"No, let me explain to you, okay? You 'buying' me does not entitle you to order me around and tell me what to do, alright? Is that clear?"

"I did not buy-"

"And frankly why did you do this? I was perfectly fine where I was."

I see him look at me, analyzing me.

"Perfectly fine?" he repeats, sceptical.

"I..." I look down at myself. "I was pulling through..."

"Look, Eponine," he says, approaching me. "It was not my intention to 'buy' you, as you say. I met your friend Montparnasse in the street. He said you were in some kind of trouble, that I should come check out the inn. And when your father came out instead of you, I knew something was up. I'm sorry I had to pay to get you out of there, but your father wouldn't let me see you if not. I'm sorry, 'Ponine."

"Wait... What did you just call me?"

"What? Oh, huh, ''Ponine'? Montparnasse called you like that. I sort of liked the ring to it. If you prefer, I won't-"

"No... No, I didn't say it that way."

"Oh... Listen, I need to get you checked up."

I look to the ground.

"I am not going to a doctor," I say. "Not looking like this."

"Okay. Come with me. I know a guy."

I back up a few steps.

"What makes you think I'll go with you?"

He hunches his shoulders.

"Got anywhere else to go?"

I bite my lower lip, hesitating.

"Take my hand," he offers.

"Fine," I finally answer. "I'll go with you." I look down at his hand. "But I'm not holding it."

He starts to laugh.

"Fair enough."