I am lost
I don't know how to feel
or how to even exist simply it's just-
everything has gone fuzzy.
dreams skewed and vision cloudy
sediment kicked up from the
bottom of the sea like a veil,
remember our ocean wedding?
Me too.
I am falling quickly and freely
sinking down on dirty knees
gravel streets, colored fields
(purple reminds me of you)
achieved a new level of treachery
because he trusts me and still,
I think of you.
I'm drowning.
Gasping for breath,
bubbles bursting free to the surface,
you ricochet your words so carelessly
I think you're killing me
but I'm addicted, clawing and itching
for all those bittersweet memories,
that nagging feeling satisfies me
and always, I am left wondering
what we could have been.
Our timing was sloppy.
anger seeping out of summer heat,
silent screams, pig pen poetry,
I sat missing you on an island,
we tried, you gave up on me
and that's okay.
You replaced me and
that's okay, I get it.
I'm happy.
He loves me.
And still, I think of you
