Undiscovered

See ya

"Theo I need to pee" I say to him with a hiccup. My throat is so tight that I can hardly breathe. I can feel hysteria coming with each sob, making them more prominent.

He takes me by the arm, digging his strong fingers into my flesh. I would scream, I would probably run, but I do not have the physical or the emotional strength to do any of that right now. He has completely worn me down, bit by bit until I feel useless.

His grip gets tighter and I start feeling it in my bone. The amount of pain he has put me through these past three years is just not worth it. Not another minute of it.

"Stop it. That hurts you bastard. Let go of me. GET THE FUCK OFF ME!" I yell. I scream. I let it all out. He puts his hand over my mouth. I'm frantically thrusting and kicking in every direction I can, hoping that I can get him were it hurts but I don't connect with anything.

I still scream even with his hand over my mouth so the sound is only coming from my throat. I struggle in his grip for a long time, only to be stopped by him wrapping his hands around my throat. "Stop fucking screaming if you want to breathe" he says. I'm starting to see blank spots at the corners of my vision, then it all goes dark. 

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I wake up in the hospital. There are tubes and needles sticking out everywhere. I'm also wearing a neck brace which isn't too comfortable. My whole body is numb so I don't feel anything, good or bad. I look around the room for something familiar. I keep looking until Theo walks in with a worried look on his face. What an actor.

He's on his own, but he sits down and takes my hand. "Who.." I begin but Theo interrupts me. "Shh no don't talk. It'll only make things worse" he says. Maybe he's lying and just doesn't want me to spill to the doctors. I nod anyway.

"I'll go tell them you're awake" he says. He lets go of my hand and walks out of the room. I close my eyes and try to remember what happened. I was eating breakfast then the table was on me. He choked me and I passed out. What am I going to do? How can I leave? He'll stop me and I won't get a chance.

Theo and the doctor walk in together. I glare at Theo and he puts his head down, then I look at the doctor who's smiling. "Hi miss Woodley. How are you feeling?" She says. I'm not in any pain so I say "okay". "You're going to be fine. We put you on some morphing to ease the pain. Your boyfriend here let me know what happened to you which is such a tragedy. You will be discharged today" she smiles and walks off.

I wonder what he told her Happened this time. I wriggle in the bed a little bit because I've been still for too long and I feel something wrapped around me. I lift my shirt up a little bit so see a bandage covering the lower half of my body. "We have to change that every hour or so when we get home" Theo says. I nod. Looks like I'm still going home with him. "Does my mom know?" I say my voice sounding squeaky. Theo shakes his head.

I sigh. I don't wanna go home with him. I asked Theo to get me a drink of water so I take this opportunity to call one of my friends. I call Zoë. She picks up on the second ring. "Hey Shai" she says "hey listen, will you come by my place today around six?" I ask. There's a long pause then she says "yeah I'll come by but I can't stay for long" huh that's such a relief. "Okay thank you. I have to go so I'll talk to you later. Bye" I say and hang up.

When Theo comes back with the water I pretend to be asleep. He notices though. "Shai if you're pretending to be asleep stop it because we have to get out of here soon" he says. I sigh and open my eyes. I sit up and feel all the aches around my body. I lift up the peak of the bandage that's wrapped around me and see all the bruises and swollen parts of me. And he did it to me.

The doctor comes in and takes my neck brace off and it feels weak without it. I do a few neck exercises to strengthen it a little. I swallow and the doctor instructs me to sit up and when I do I get another big shooting pain up my spine and I can feel my back burning again. "Ah" i say letting out a gasp. "You okay?" Theo says. I unscrunch my face and give him a dirty look.

"Fine" I say. The word 'fine' means everything but fine. It means depressed and isolated. It means you don't want to take another breath because nothing is worth living for anymore. It means everything apart from fine. The only thing I'm looking forward to is seeing Zoë otherwise this hospital sounds so much more appealing than going home.

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When Theo pulls into the driveway of our house it's already 5:30. Zoë will be here in half an hour. "I told work that I would come in and film at six instead, since I couldn't go in earlier for obvious reasons, so I will be away for most of the night. Sorry" says Theo. Wow that couldn't have been planned any better.

A burst of excitement runs through me because he's going to be away for a while and I can have some time with my friend. "That's okay" I say smiling . "Shai, I really do love you" a tear falls down his face. "I don't want to do this to you. I have a bad temper. I need help. I really want to change" he says. I feel sorry for him because I believe he really does want to change and if he gets help, then he'll find some other way to deal with his anger. I don't know what to tell him. I could say something that will set him off again but i do need to be honest with him for once. If I hold everything inside and he still hits me then I have nothing to lose if I just tell him.

"Theo, you control you. If you don't want to hit me, then don't hit me and if you really just need to then you need to go and get yourself some help. If you really just can't resist hurting me then you definitely need help." I admire him willing to get help. I think it's really responsible that he sees that's there's something wrong with him and is willing to get counselling. "I will" he says. I step out of the car and Theo drives off. I go in, and boil the kettle and wait for Zoë.