Undiscovered

Big decisions

I'm starting to feel very nauseous again. I roll down my car windows to air out the car. It could be just travel sickness and the fact that I haven't had a real meal in like six days. Really from the time I went to dinner with my mom.

I slow down as I'm getting entwined into traffic and I turn on the radio so I don't get impatient. People start beeping their horns and things as if it'll help. I'm sitting staring out the window when I feel the sick rising in my throat, so I open my door and step out. I puke on the side of the road for everyone to see. I'm completely ashamed of myself since I can't even clean it.

Once I'm driving again I make the decision to go to the hospital, just to be sure of what's really going on and how I can fix it. I drive to the hospital and it doesn't take me long to be seen.

"Hi. I'm Dr.Dawson" he says extending his hand out to me. I shake it awkwardly. I'm not much of a handshaker. "What seems to be the problem?" He asks me. He might think I sound silly because I've just been puking. Nothing serious but now that I think about it, it's been more than that. "I've been getting very random needs to be sick, and I've had abdominal pains" I tell him.

He's been nodding his head the whole time. "When was your last menstrual period?" He asks me. I blush and say "it's due now". I've only just realised that I haven't had a period this month. "Okay well I'll run some tests and see what's going on with you" he says. He smiles and walks out.

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Dr.Dawson comes back around twenty minutes later with my results. "You're pregnant" he says to me. I prefer doctors like him. Very straightforward and precise. "That's why you've been feeling nauseous and sore. You've got a little baby" he says.

My heart has shrivelled into the size of a pea. I'm carrying Theo's child inside me. There is another person inside me. This would ruin my career and I wouldn't be the type of mom to let a nanny rare my child. It's mine and I will raise my own child. Tears start falling down my face. The bastard could have at least used a condom.

I consider this for afew minutes. I would have a baby and I have to tell Theo. It's his baby but what if he hurt the child too? I don't know what to do this is too much for me to handle. The doctor walks out of the room after he told me the news. I don't wait for him to come back, I just walk out of the hospital and start driving again.

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I'm pregnant. I'm going to be a mother. Theo's going to be a father. Oh my god what have I done? I can't let him know but I have to but I don't want to and that would be morally wrong. Instead of calling him and telling him, I'm going to drive back to my house. I'm not going to stay. I'm going to tell him how it is, then leave.

I drive as fast as I can until I finally arrive outside my house again only, it feels like I haven't been here in years and it's only been days. Theo seems foreign now and I'm terrified. Literally terrified of how he's going to react. I don't even know how I can tell him when I can't even comprehend it myself. I step out of my car, but I don't lock it just incase I need to make an emergency exit and i plank my keys down my bra, they will be safe there.

I walk very slowly towards my door, because I'm hesitating even though I know i can't possibly turn away at this point. I've come the whole way home just to tell him this so he's gonna find out. I finally turn the handle while trying to make my hand stop shaking.

I walk inside and he's not there, but the door was unlocked so, he can't be far. I look around for a while until I'm certain that he's not downstairs so I walk upstairs. "Theo" I call. I walk into our bedroom and what I see is completely traumatising. Theo is under the covers of my bed, with another women. In my bed, in my house, with my man! Well she can fuck off.

When people talk about cheating I never really listen in because it all sounds the same, but when it happens to you, you get it. I stare at him for a few seconds then at her. I feel like grabbing her and beating the crap out of her, but she did nothing wrong, because I left him, and that's how it is.

"Um.. Hi" i say. My eyes start filling up and I avoid eye contact with him. He's completely unbelievable. We've been broken up for about three days, not even a week and he's sleeping with someone else already. Even though I don't want him, I definitely don't want anyone else to have him, and this hurts, oh god it hurts a lot.

It feels like someone is just purposely breaking my heart. I can't seem to catch a break. I've been through so much pain and now this. I'm overwhelmed. I have not been a bad person, so I don't know why I'm being punished more than everyone.

"Shai. You're back. What um" Theo says. "Theo shut up a minute and get her out of my house." I say. The lady whose sitting there gets out of under the covers and starts putting her clothes on. She doesn't even care that I'm standing here and I'm able to see her naked. She rushes past me and out of my house. I hope I never see that hoe a again.

"You know we're done right?" I ask him. "You and me, we are never going to get back together" he closes his eyes "Yeah I know" he says. "What do you want?" He says. "You know you could try being a little nicer. I just seen another women naked beside you" I scowl at him. "I thought I was being nice" he says.

Right now, as angry as I am, I'm still going to tell him. "I have some big news. 1. I hope you die and 2.I'm pregnant with your child. Enjoy your pathetic life" I say and I walk out of the room. Theo runs after me yelling my name "Shai!" He says "Shai, wait!" He says. I turn around to face him and I wipe the tear, that was working its way down my face, from my cheek.

"You're pregnant?" He says. He has nothing on him and it's kind of distracting. He looks at his feet. I think he's dissatisfied. "Just so you know, you will not be near him. You will never get to see his face, as pretty as it may be" I spit at him.

"I would be a good father" he says. "I would make the child laugh and I would help him through his problem and I.. I would love him, Shai. I would never ever hurt him. Please stay. Please. I'm begging you. I don't know what else to do to get it through to you that I'm done hurting you. I swear" he says.

I don't answer him. I just turn and walk out. I'm just teasing him. I'm going to go back, but I'm staying away for now.