Never Stop Being You

Chapter Twenty

A/N: The next two or three chapters will go day by day or whatever so I'll put dates. I'll also skip days duh. I kind of like to stay accurate

-Thuggin

|Chapter Twenty|

- Harold
December 5th, 2016

I walked up to my ex-wife's grave and just stared. Her new tombstone had just came in and it was more beautiful than ever. Her picture lay there with her angelic face and I couldn't help but to smile. She was so beautiful... I hate that I did her wrong but I had to.

All my life, I was raised in a family full of racists.

Living up north, you would think there weren't people as bad as my parents but there are. I swear they're worst then the south. With me being the oddball of the bunch, I wanted to explore and try new things. At school, there were well-mannered and respected blacks that I simply had no problem with.

When I attended NYU, I met the love of my life; Haevyn. I found out that she went to my high school and I instantly remembered her. She had always had a crush on me and I would only brush her off. At NYU she was so beautiful in every way. I just knew that I had to marry her, regardless of the color of her skin. I loved her unconditionally and I still do.

When I first introduced her to my parents, they were amazed that I had found such a phenomenal black girl. We were married for a few months and then she got pregnant with Devyn. When we had Devyn, it deepened our bond. It made my parents love her more and everything was perfect.

About 10 years of Devyn's life passed and the "love" my parents had for them dwindled down. I still loved my wife and daughter more than anything in the world. But then my friend Jeff got me into this corrupted state that I'm in. He introduced me to drug entrepreneurship. So while everyone thought I was a big time business-man, I'm really a big time drug lord. Cocaine was what made my money sky rocket. Mind you that I was already wealthy, I became almost a millionaire when the cocaine came to play. I bought my house off and several cars. No debt for my parents or wife. I saved money for Devyn. Everything was perfect.

On Devyn's 12th birthday, I missed it. Why? Because I was meeting with a new cartel owner. He would be sending me and Jeff some of the purest cocaine in the world. It would be shipped straight from Colombia. When I was meeting with him, I met the beautiful woman that's sitting in my Range Rover now as I sit here and think this. Her name is Michelle.

Michelle took my mind off of everything. She told me that everything was going to be okay and that things could only get better. While Haevyn was at home calling me, telling me that I need to get home and that I need to quit selling drugs. At the time I thought it was nagging and aggravating but now I wish that I would've listened to her. Because now I'm struggling. I've gotten too far in the drug business and I want to get out. But the only way to get out is to die and I have a son to raise.

Tears streamed out of my eyes as I looked at Haevyn's picture.

"I should've listened," I said shaking my head.

But my mind was too gone...

I was too busy letting Jeff and Michelle ruin me. Michelle and I ended up getting married in Las Vegas. So five years of my original marriage, I had a whole other wife. Something I still regret.

Yes, I did fall in love with Michelle but I could never love her like how I love Haevyn. My beautiful Nubian queen. If I wouldn't have been so caught up maybe I would've been to the doctor's appointments. I would've known about her disorder. I wouldn't have been 15 minutes late to my own children's births. I wouldn't have had to bury my wife and daughter. I cried as I held my hands in my head. I felt small arms wrap around my torso.