I Should've Known

Chapter Four - Closer.

Chapter Four: Closer.

God, I look horrible.

Taylor groaned as she looked at herself on the mirror. With dried mascara-eyeliner-tears on her damp cheeks, her eyes red and puffy, her lips chapped – and some of her lipstick stained her sweater after her continuous use of its sleeves as handkerchief – and with her blonde hair tangled and messy, she really looked horrible, as if she was a homeless woman wandering the streets and begging for money.

Meredith was sleeping soundly on her lap, and she envied her pet cat since it didn’t have any problems, unlike her. She seemed to be carrying the burden of everybody on her shoulders, and it bothered her a lot.

Taylor knew that what she was doing to herself was unhealthy and quite unnecessary. She didn’t have to starve herself or cry so much until she gets tired and fall asleep. Harry had already moved on from her and had found some other girl – another naïve woman who would soon fall into his trap, for sure.

She knew that she had to move on from him as well, since the whole thing in between then had crashed and burned to an immediate and untimely end. Harsh, painful, and sad, but true.

Wake up, Taylor! Don’t let him get into your head and heart anymore, she told herself, inwardly slapping her own cheek. Everything in between you is over, alright? Remember that. You deserve someone better—someone who would hang-out with you, not just for today, but for all of your life.

The blonde stroke her pet cat’s ear gently, staring sadly at her reflection on the mirror. She knew that her conscience was definitely right. She didn’t need a guy like Jake Gyllenhaal or John Mayer or Joe Jonas or Harry Styles. She needed someone who would actually love her, not for her fame or talent, but for who she really was. The real Taylor Swift.

But, for her, it was impossible to meet a guy like that.

“I don’t want to get hurt anymore,” Taylor whispered to herself with a sad sigh. “I don’t think I would ever find the right guy for me. I don’t think I would want to fall in love again.”

Oh, the irony. And to think that it was supposed to be Valentine’s Day on that day.

Still stroking her cat’s soft fur, Taylor suddenly imagined her own hypothetical future—living alone with a whole bunch of cats, getting old alone and then would eventually die alone. She knew that if that would be what would really happen, her life would be very boring. But still, she knew that it might be her future, and she was very certain that she didn’t want that to happen.

But, if things wouldn’t go exactly what she wanted, then, let it be.

A sudden knock on the door had distracted her, and her head had swiftly turned to the locked door of her dressing room. Handling Meredith gently, she carried the feline and laid it on the settee before heading towards the door. She unlocked the door and turned the doorknob to open it, and was quite surprised when a pair of cerulean orbs had greeted her.

“Ed,” Taylor acknowledged the redhead, a small gasp escaping from her lips. She then remembered that she looked disgusting, with make-up stains on her sweater and everything, and it was too late to close the door since her best friend had already seen her. Shyly, she asked, “What are you doing here?”

“I brought food,” Ed told her cheerfully, lifting the shopping bag that he was holding. “It just came into my mind all of a sudden. I mean, we haven’t hung-out anymore. You’ve always been busy and—”

“I’ve been busy crying over Harry, I know,” the blonde sniffed, wiping her cheeks with the sleeves of her sweater. “You don’t have to point it out, Ed.” The ginger-haired singer had visibly tensed up a bit as he watched Taylor with a small frown. His orange eyebrows had knitted together and he seemed to be thinking of something, but Taylor wasn’t sure.