Oh my Sweet Angel.

Chapter 2

(Deans pov)

We made it to Bobby's at 12:30 in the afternoon. I'm nervous as hell. Sams excited. he jumps out of the car. Bobby's at the front door. "hey Bobby!" Sam yells to him and waves. Bobby slowly walks over. I'm still sitting in the car. Fuck!

I get out and I'm just gunna stay quiet. I've been quiet for the whole morning Sam giving me a weird face but said nothing.

"Hey boys how ya been?" Bobby asks. and Sams says "we've been good. deans the best big bro! He lets me play on the computer sometimes!" I try for a smile but get a grimace instead.

Bobby looks at me. I can't look at him I always let everyone down.

"So Bobby I heard you finally married Ellen! I'm so excited! where's Jo?" he asked more like squealed.

"Yea she's in the house." Bobby said but I can feel him staring at me. Sam runs into the house. great left alone with Bobby.

"What the hell you thinkin boy?"

I sigh heavily. I shrug.

"Dean... your dads inside and he's drunk and pissed." he said calmly I winced. Best day ever. I walk by Bobby towards the house.

"Dean! what the fuck do you think your doing! failing school!?" I wince but don't look at him. I can see Sam in the kitchen door way trying to be hidden. I say nothing.

"Not this shit again! say something for yourself!" he yells. I just shrug. then I feel the pain. he punched me right in my eye. That will bruise. "Dad!" Sam yells I want to say stop but I can't find the words I start to black out.

I don't know how long I was out for but I woke up on the couch and Ellen putting a cup of water with two red pills next to it.

"Oh your awake he is your head?" she asked I just looked at her. I can't... something I just can't.... "I'm sorry." I said quietly.

"For what hun?" I just shook my head. and closed my eyes again. "take these ok it with make your head feel better." she said. I sighed. I fail at everything I do. when I heard her leave I took the pills and drank the rest of the water. I didn't eat anything today and I wasn't planning on it.

"Dean? are you ok?" it was Sam he sounded worried.

i nodded. "nothing that never happened before." I mumbled. he sighed this time. "sorry Sammy I suck." I said and half laughed which sounded more hysterical. "I talked to dad he's mad but he wants to talk to you he promised not to hit you." I looked at him. "Dean please just talk to him." he pleaded. I-I didn't know what to do.

"Dean." it was dad he walked into the room. I winced. my head was pounding. I looked down I felt like I let him down.

"I'm sorry Dean." I snapped my head up. what?! he was... what? "listen I was thinking and then I was talking to Bobby he said it was ok... I knew he would..." he rambled. what was he saying? I was confused. thank god Sam was on the same page. "what dad?" he said.

"Well you and Dean are gunna live here.... and finish school have friends... I know I haven't made your lives easy but I think this will be best." he said. what? no! no no! I was... what? maybe I had a concussion. I can't believe this. "no." was all I said. Sam almost broke his neck to give me his bitch face.

"No? Dean this will help come on please I wanna stay please please please!" Sam pleaded and gave me the kicked puppy face that I've never been able to say no to. damn. I closed my eyes and lay back again. This can't be happening.

I didn't say anything I wont.

"Dean?" Sam asked I just stayed still nothing. he sighed. "Dean." it was dad this time I winced a bit.

"Dean this will be good for you I promise." Yea I'm sure. "You'll be staying that's not up for reason." he said I knew I would be striped of my opinion. so? fine.

"Dean?" it was a girls voice. I looked. it was Jo but not she was older then I remember taller. she was very very pretty. she used to be so nice to me considerate that I didn't like to talk. I liked her she was cool. I looked at her. "well um I live here now too so you know it won't be that bad. so... don't be a baby." she laughed she was nervous. I laughed a little. Sam was smiling so sweatily like what the hell? I sighed Sam knew that means I give up and a yes.

"Yes! he said yes! whoo! Dean it will be fun!" he laughed and jumped up. I smiled at him. really smiled. as long as he was happy.

"What how do you know that was a yes?" Jo asked Sam. "oh I just know, me and Dean live in each others pockets. I know him." He winked. I laughed. Jo rolled her eyes.

"It's nice to see you Dean you look good. I'm happy your staying. I'll show you around the school. you'll like it there." I rolled my eyes. And then closed then and lay back. "come on Dean let's go see our room!" he was so excited. "hey idjit! get off your ass and get your shot to your room." Bobby yelled to me. I groaned. Sam laughed.

Two hours later. I had my shit in the small room me and Sam shared. we could have our own rooms but Sam wanted to share he wouldn't be able to sleep with our me.

"Sam don't you want your own space?" Jo asked. he blushed slightly. I laughed and shook his hair. Jo just looked at me with a quizzical look plastered in her face. I shrug. not saying anything. "well?" she asked.

"I can't... Im used to having Dean with me... I can't sleep if he's not in the same room." he said embarrassed. I shrug. I really don't mind having him with me it's comfortable. "And you... wow ok" she said. I gave her a hard look that said if you say one more thing about Sam I'll smash your face in. she just shrugged. I lay in the bed. "wow Dean your eye is really black. does it hurt?" she asked. I shook my head no. I doesn't I've learned to ignore the pain. I need a drink though.

I walked out to let Sam decorate our room. I walked to the kitchen no one was there, I found the whiskey. perfect! I just opened the bottle and chugged an few gulps. heat rushing down my throat. I love that pain the best. I drank more. then put it back where I found it. well now that I'm a bit tipsy I can at lease calm down a bit. I walked out side and sat on my baby. looked to the stars. it was pretty clear out here in the middle of no where. I remember what my mom used to say to me when I was a kid. "angels are watching over you." yea I'm sure. I pulled out the picture of her. she was she pretty. I miss her. I sighed. "you still have that?" I herd Jo say. I jumped. god she was quiet I didn't even hear her. "mmmm" was all I said. I don't like talking to her. "You know Sam really looks up to you. it's kinda cute.really I mean like I've never seen anything like it." She said then.

"Yea I know." I said quietly.

She gasped and I smiled smug. "he speaks! you know you never said anything to me ever before."

"Yea well I don't like to talk much." was all I said. "why is that?" she asked. I didn't like that question. I shrug.

I opened my mouth but didn't have words to say. that's why. I looked back at the sky. "Dean... don't forget I'm here to listen if you need it." she said then walked away. I got up and walked to the house. I went to bed but didn't sleep. I waited for Sam to fall asleep so I could get up. I walked to the kitchen grabbed the almost full bottle of whiskey and went to my car.

I slid in. bare foot and in a t shirt and shorts. I drank and drank. "mom I miss you soo much..." I sobbed. "why did you have to leave me! god damn it!" I cried for the first time in 10 years. I cried. "mom please..." it was broken. I was broken. "Fuck! FUCK FUCK FUCK!!!!" I screamed. I got out I was completely drunk now. I throw the empty bottle to the ground. fuck why am I such a fucking screw up. I punched the rusted piece of crap car next to me. I didn't even feel pain.

"Dean?" it was soft.

"Sam go back to bed." I slurred.

"Dean your bleeding. are you drunk? god Dean. please come in side. I was facing away from him. I had tears streaked down my face. next thing I know Sam is hugging me. I let out a small noise. and hugged him hard. "Dean your ok. I love you Dean. Im hear." he was comforting me. I'm the fucking older brother supposed to be there for his younger bro but I fucked that up too. "I'm sorry Sammy I'm so sorry." I slurred out. I hate myself.

"Come on dean." he pulled me inside.