My Gender Is Narwal

Chapter Five

"Ivy, I found you, where have you been?" I ask, she has her back turned towards me, but I know it's her. "Ivy?" I walk in front of her, she has dead eyes, a gag in her mouth, her hands and feet are bound with rope, and she suddenly became super skinny. "Ivy!!!" I screech, but when I go to touch the gag, it tightens on her and she lets out a pained groan.

"Ohhh, don't worry, I'll go call 911!" I fumble in my pockets for my phone. It's not there, where is it!? I search the floor, under the chair Ivy's sitting in. When did she get there? I look up and Ivy's not in the chair. "Ivy!!!?" I shoot up, suddenly worried, I spin around, and when I look back in the chair Nolan is there, but it's not Nolan. His eyes are green, this person.... has no eyes!!!!!! I scream....

"Haaaaahu." I gasp. Just a dream. It was a dream, Chase. I take deep breaths and wipe tears of sweat off my forehead. "Jesus, what was that?" My dream suddenly disappears from my mind, I've already forgotten what it was about, but I think it had something to do with eyes.

I grab my phone and am temporarily blinded from the bright light. It's 2:22 am, dammit, what am I suppose to do now? I'll never fall back asleep, I might as well go get something to eat. I walk downstairs in a hazy state, tired, but not able to sleep. I open the fridge, scratching my stomach in the process. I decide to make a sandwich, pb and j. Can't get any better than that at 2:30 in the morning.

I sit at the table and bite into my poorly-made peanut butter and jelly. I finish it and begin to wander around the house.

Bathroom, bedroom, other bedroom, other bedroom, upstairs, my bedroom, another bedroom, my partents' bedroom, weird room we never do anything with.

I decide to go in, we're not really suppose to unless we ask becasue there's mold or something in there and my parents will go in and do something, I dunno. I creak the door open, and instantly slam it shut. What the hell!? I'm breathing deep, what I just saw, was not ok. I just saw my dad, and some random girl I've only met once. She was an important person in my dad's company.

Why did I slam it, now they'll know, they'll wake up. I race myself to my own room and close the door with a bang. Still gulping air and trying to figure out what I just saw. That isn't right. Who was she? Why is she here? Is that why I'm not suppose to go in that room? I hear another door open and footsteps, I make a mad dash for my bad, but trip over a book lying in the middle of my floor. Perfect timing, Draw the Line, the one time I can actually find you, you're in my way.

My door bursts open and I scramble to my feet, my dad is standing, looking furious in only a pair of underwear. It's honestly hard not to laugh at him, he just looks ridiculous.

"Want to explain what you were doing?" He asks.

I gulp and look him dead in the eye. "Want to explain what you were doing?" My voice quivers, revealing my fear of talking back to my father. See, a couple years ago he had a drinking problem and he'd hit me on occasion, it was never serious, but it mentally scarred me.

"What?" He barks. "I am an adult, I can do whatever I want!"

I flinch. "I-uh, I know. I was just wondering who she was..."

"She's Linny Hark, from my company." He steps towards me viciously. "Now, what the hell do you think you were doing?"

I almost whimper. "I was just curious, I shouldn't have done it, I know that, I just.... was curious......"

"That's what I fucking thought." He backhands me and I tumble down, hardly caring, only thankful that was it. Now that I'm older I was scared he'd do more. He leaves, slamming the door behind him. I take a breath.

It's ok. It's ok, he's gone. I'm fine. It's ok. I walk to my closet and pull out a box, a box of notes that I like to read when I'm bored, or need to get my mind off something, sometimes I add to it. The notes are from me to all sorts of people; teachers, my parents, my brothers and sisters. Ivy. I miss Ivy already, and she's missing! Oh, God how did already forget. I just, need to not think about that now.

The first note I pull out was written on a crumpled piece of lined paper. It reads:

To Ivy,

Hey, Best Bud, I have something to tell you. I like boys, yep. I'm attracted to them, yet, I can still see how hot you are, I know you can't see it, but you're beautiful, I love you. I hope you don't hate me for liking men.

Sincerely,
Chase the Ace

I remember writing this the day she refused to come to the pool with me. She didn't say it, but I knew it was because she was ashamed of herself. She also always called me "Chase the Ace", I never really knew why.

The next one, written on a neatly folded piece of white paper.

Dear Mom,

Please don't hate me for what I'm about to tell you, and you have to promise to never tell Dad. Please? I'm agender, which means I'm no gender. Boy nor girl. I'm sorry if this disappoints you, I know you want me to grow up and be a strong, smart docter or lawyer, but I can't. I'm also attracted to boys, so I won't be getting a wife and having that happy ending, either. I'm sorry, but I really hope you still love me and can become accustomed to this.

Your Loving Child,
Chase

I almost cry reading that one, right after my mom yelled at me for bad grades. She told me what type of life I was suppose to have. I decide I want to write another one.

Dear Ivy,

I begin with my continuous opening.

Where are you? I'm worried, who took you? I know I'm not much, but I'll always do everything in my power to protect you, please fight back. Come home, I'm so worried.

Your Friend,
Chase

I tear up as I randomly fold the binder paper, I can't beleive she's really missing. Everyone always thinks this only happens to other people, as in people you don't know and who aren't you. I toss it in the box and stash it back up in my closet, hiding it under some blankets. If anyone ever found this, I'd be dead. I've "told" people stuff in here that could be potentially dangerous if it got out. Especially the notes I wrote to my dad.

______\(°○°)/-Yeah! Another chapter!
Heyo!! How's everyone doing? So, I was listening to Troy Sivan while writing this, and some of the inspiration for it came from Blue Neighborhood, which, if you haven't heard it, is amazing. So, yeah, bye.