This trip she's had on her mind has started to get a hold of her more now than before. Its been affecting her mood and her performance in class, I've been getting complaints from her teachers wondering if we had a fight because she had looked so gloomy in class. She would hand in her work late, at didn't even bother to do them.
At lunch we always meet up in one spot, but now it was a challenge just to find her bff that was always with her to see if she knew where Selena was.
I felt like she was avoiding me, she kept shutting everyone out while she endured all that pain in her conscience. simply because she hadto leave to the states and leave me behind. But from everything she'd experienced, what bothered me most was the her bff was saying things about me that weren't true, saying I would hate Selena if she left me behind, or that I would never talk to her. I was well aware she was suffering, and I took her feelings and emotions into consideration with everything I did or said to her and to those who asked me about her wellbeing but, what about me?
*having that feeling that everyone thinks I'm the reason she had to go to the states and that she's feeling like a total reck*
It was early March where we first broke up. Her bff told her she'd need to dump me now or feel worse later. (I thought if she really was her she'd encourage her to make these last moments together count, because she was already gonna feel bad before ands after she left) I cried when her friends told me that she was breaking up with. I cried Cuz I thought she wouldn't listen to her and follow her heart, but she didn't and she didn't tell me in person which made it a slight bit worse.
My brothers birthday was coming up and I had already invited her long before we broke up, so she was going anyway. I couple friends of mine helped me gather the courage to ask her if she could give me another chance, but that boat was sinking before I could even set sail. I shook it off and kept partying like I didn't bother to try but surely didn't forget.
*weeks from that party I've been giving her some space if that's what she desperately wanted, and I was out of school even more often with school field trips and presentations about accounting and economy *
On one of those field trips Sabrina was part of our group, she knew I broke up with Selena and shesl just couldn't resist. Our field trip was to a annual culture festival at the college most students set off to when they graduate my high school, where they welcome the new students that would attend there with music, games and inspirational lectures from teachers and former students. I thought I'd have a free day of all stress, until I ended up having to walk through the whole festival with Sabrina holding on to my arm like I used to with Selena. (It was uncomfortable I had to go through something like that after a break up and with HER ) I managed to lose her in the crowd and sat on some benches on the other side of college, where most of the student body was at handing out t-shirts and pins for clubs, I did get half an hour until she found me again and sat on my lap. I was furios!, I had to put up with her shit all day, and I got warning after warning from our trips teachers about us being that close and she just does the unimaginable and sits on my lap. I didn't think twice I just pushed her off, then she got all mad because I was being "rude" and mean. I ran away to the parking lot where our busses were at, our driver let me in and I sat all the way in the back, waiting till it was all over so I could go home.
*worst $20 I ever wanna spend on that experience *
At the end of the day we got back from a tiresome trip (at least for me), and there she was, Selena waiting for me on a bench infront of the library. We weren't together but her presence cheered me up a little.
