The Many Adventures of Geoffrey the Llama King

Teardrops

          The hospital let Geoffrey go after keeping him in there for a good three hours. The three go downstairs where Captain Hammer is waiting for Ebsy.

‘Ebsy, I booked us a table at Cheaney’s. Let’s go.’ Captain Hammer says.

‘Ebsy, who’s this?’ Geoffrey asks.

‘Oh, this is Tall Muscly Man Who Did Not Stop the Van. Tall Muscly Man Who Did Not Stop the Van, this is Geoffrey, my big bro.’

‘Tall Muscly Man Who Did Not Stop the Van?’ Geoffrey is really confused.

‘That is a long name, isn’t it…? How about I call you… Norman.’

‘Norman?’

‘Well, it would be No-van, and No-van sounds like Norman.’

‘Right…’ Geoffrey is still confused, but lets it go.

‘My name is actually Captain Hammer.’ Captain Hammer says.

‘I LIKE NORMAN BETTER SO COME ALONG NORMAN!’ Ebsy yells and stalks out of the hospital.

‘Can someone please explain what’s going on?’ Geoffrey asks.

‘I’m taking Ebsy on a date.’

‘Oh? Is that so?’

‘Yes, it is. You have a problem with that?’ Captain Hammer pokes Geoffrey in the chest.

‘I do, actually. I don’t know you at all, and you look really old, and simply, I don’t like you.’ Geoffrey pokes him back.

‘Norman? You coming?’ Ebsy calls.

‘Coming, Ebsy.’ Captain Hammer smirks at Geoffrey and leaves. Geoffrey follows.

‘Ebsy, can I just have a word?’ Ebsy walks over to Geoffrey. ‘I don’t trust that guy.’

‘Who, Norman? Look, Geoffrey, I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me.’

‘But, look at him! I only just met him and he looks too old for you.’

‘What’s your problem? I'm sixteen! I can look after myself, ok?’

‘Exactly! You’re sixteen! You’ve never been on a date with anyone before!’

‘So? This will be my first date! You’ve been on enough, now it’s my turn!’

‘I forbid you to go on this date.’

‘Excuse me?! You forbid me? Holy dragons, Geoffrey! Just because you’re the bloody king of Llama Land DOES NOT MEAN that you can boss me around!’

‘Yes it does! I rule over everyone that lives between the Palace and the Magic Forest, as well as the Mountains of Morgape! THAT INCLUDES YOU!’

‘YOU’RE NOT MY FATHER!’ Ebsy turns and starts walking off.

‘OF COURSE I’M NOT! YOUR FATHER’S DEAD, JUST LIKE THE REST OF YOUR FAMILY! AUG TOOK THEM CAPTIVE, TOURTURED THEM, AND LEFT THEIR DEAD BODIES IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MAGIC FOREST!’ Geoffrey yells.

Ebsy stops, but doesn’t turn. ‘You’re lying.’ she hisses.

‘EVEN ASK THE ROYAL FAIRIES! IT WAS THEM WHO FOUND THEM!’

Tears start to fall down Ebsy’s face, but she wipes them away angrily. ‘Come on, Captain Hammer. We’re going.’ Captain Hammer follows Ebsy eagerly. He leads her to Cheaney’s, where they get led to their table. As they sit down, Ebsy speaks: ‘I’m not really hungry.’

‘That’s ok. How about we just go back to mine and I can perhaps make you a cup of tea instead?’ Ebsy nods and so they go to Captain Hammer’s apartment. It had been cleaned before Captain Hammer went out, because he’s always prepared for when he has… unexpected guests coming around. Ebsy sits on the couch, placing her coat next to her, while Captain Hammer goes to the kitchen to make her some tea.

Just before he brings the tea out, he puts a splash of vodka in, just to get Ebsy a little drunk before the fun started. He then brings out the mug and hands it to her.

‘Thanks,’ she mumbles, ‘Sorry about dinner, by the way.’

‘Hey, don’t worry about it, sweetheart.’

Ebsy takes a sip of her tea, before sculling it. ‘Would you like another?’

‘Just one… please.’ Captain Hammer nods and goes to make another, once again spiking it with vodka. This one she skulls as well. ‘I’m –hic –fine, thanks.’

Captain Hammer sits down next to Ebsy, who suddenly bursts into tears. He puts his arms around her and strokes her cheek tenderly. ‘Shh… let it all out.’ he coos. Once Ebsy stops crying, she looks up at Captain Hammer.

‘You’ve been awfully nice to me, Captain Hammer…’

‘Well, it’s my job to look after you.’

The two sit there for a while before he makes the first move. He lifts her chin up and stares into her eyes, before closing the gap between the two by kissing her. She immediately reacts, as the vodka went to her head pretty quickly. He lets his hands wander over her body and allows one to slip up her dress, the other starting to fondle at her chest.

‘Stop… STOP!’ Ebsy whimpers, but Captain Hammer doesn’t stop and instead tugs at the sleeves on her dress, causing them to fall to her elbows. Ebsy tries to push him away, but he’s too strong for her. The dress is now sitting at her waist, exposing her chest and stomach. Captain Hammer gropes eagerly at her chest, kissing her neck and shoulders, pushing her so that she lies down. Ebsy screams for him to stop, but he just ignores her and fiddles under her back, pulling at her undergarments.

Suddenly, Captain Hammer is thrown backwards and lands on the ground, unconscious. Ebsy throws her clothes back on and runs out onto the street, and doesn’t stop running until she gets lost. She sits and leans against a wall, tears streaming freely down her face.

‘Ebsy?’ Ebsy looks up and sees Moist. ‘Here, do you need a place to stay?’ Ebsy just nods and takes Moist’s outstretched, sweaty hand. He takes her to his house, where he places a pillow on the couch and gives her a blanket. ‘You’re safe here, Ebsy. I promise.’ he says as he turns off the light and leaves Ebsy to sleep.