part nineteen,
three-hundred and fifty-nine days after- ;
jungkook knew that he should've stopped long ago, but he couldn't bring himself to. his hands shook with every droplet of water that poured out of the baths faucet, watching as it slowly built up.
the events had been leading up to each other, his life had turned into a domino that continued to fall until it reached the end, where everything would just stop, and jungkook would be left as nothing but a thought in people's distant minds.
in all honesty jungkook was tired, he wasn't tired of living, he was just tired of waiting to die. the bath continued to pile up with water, cold transparent water, and jungkook stood there fully clothed awaiting till it was full, his body shaking with nerves.
the moment finally came, and he stepped into the freezing bathtub, not caring as water continued to spill over the sides and onto the dirty tiles. his heart was beating a million miles per second, his head hurt along with his whole body, his eyes held no emotion as they endlessly stared into the pit of water.
jungkook knew this was a bad idea, there was so much more for him to experience in his life. if he continued with his actions he would never be able to experience what it would be like to love again, to hold an individual who loved him back, to hold his newborn child in his arms, go out with his friends, he would never be able to experience the joy of life again.
his thoughts on his actions of suicide eventually turned from how to when, as he awaited for the second where he would finally decide to just, do it. it was hard for him, it was hard for anyone, but maybe and just maybe the pain would finally go away, and disappear into thin air.
jungkook thought it would get better, he really hoped it would, but as the days continued to drag on ever so slowly, he eventually began to wish that his first attempt was successful, it sure would've made his life, and everyone around hims easier.
it had taken him awhile and a lot of self convincing, but he finally just, did it.
at first it was the temperature of the water surrounding his whole figure that worried him, it was cold, way too cold. jungkook eventually got over it, and no matter how much he wanted to rise, fuel his lungs with oxygen again, he couldn't bring himself to do it.
eventually, jungkook didn't feel like he was drowning anymore, his arms grew tired and his legs had given up and in the end he didn't even try to save himself and no one had tried to save him either.
jungkook wasn't drowning, he was sinking.
