part fourteen,
two-hundred and thirty days after- ;
"thank you for being there when no one else was," jungkook whispered to himself, shifting on his seated position on the bed, flicking his thumb to alight the silver lighter, "even though you fucking left too."
jungkook was sick, he was tired, and annoyed that the only thing that ran through his mind was eunbin. no matter how hard he tried he couldn't get the image of her silky dark hair and her mysterious inky eyes out of his mind.
his fingers itched to graze the soft skin of her hipbones once more, and he couldn't process the fact that he will never be able to again. tears welled up in his eyes at the fact that he will never be able to share a cigarette with someone like her again, nor hear a laugh like hers that made his heart flutter, and jungkook knew he would never be able to love someone like he loved eunbin again.
the maknae continued to flick the silver lighter off and on again, and he wanted so badly to just drop it to the floor and watch his bedroom erupt in a fit of flames. if he did that he would be gone for good, and that was what he wanted right?
but jungkook found himself wondering, why wasn't haneul here?
haneul had told jungkook that she would always be there for him when he needed it most, and goddamn did he need it most.
jungkook was an emotional wreck, his heart ached every second of the day and he was no longer motivated to do the things he loved. jungkook just simply wished he never had a smoke outside that office complex all of those days ago.
"when will i allow myself to fucking move on?" jungkook whispered to himself, ending his temptation with a simple click of the lighter closed.
