Preface

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The night has always been my friend, the way it consumed me and I disappeared. I enjoyed fading away and feeling as if I was nowhere, it was better than being where I was. I was the son of a liar and a broken girl. I came from nothing, never offered anything and I had grown accustomed to that life. Sometimes I felt as if I was drowning in lukewarm water, my mother hated me and I could see it in her eyes everytime she looked at me. She saw the man that broke her, stole something valuable and important.

I was the product of my father's destruction, I couldn't blame her for hating me but still I feared her hatred.

I hated myself though so when everything felt heavy and I thought I'd suffocate, I'd run out the back door. Barefoot with gymshorts and a muscle shirt, letting the cold winter air pierce my skin. The stinging cold felt good, I'd shudder in the breeze but I'd still stand in the clearing and stare up at the night sky. Those nights in the clearing where the times I could see the stars most. I basked in the dead silence before I hear my mother's voice in the distance and the flashlight finds me. "Quinton, I told you I didn't like you out here at night by yourself". The false concern in her voice was sickening but I just nodded and retreated to the house with her.

She never cared about me, I wished I could've told her that she didn't have to pretend and maybe she wouldn't have fallen apart the way she did.

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