Dreamland Dimensions

Chapter Twelve: Cynicstar

Monday came, the air felt a little different still heavy from the mourning of Dudley's untimely passing. There were the same six boys, posted up in the hallway and leaning against some lockers. They were watching me, making it obvious so I watched them too because that's what Dudley always told me. "Aye, you can't trust nobody...if somebody looking at you, look back at em cause we ain't no punks. If you avoid their gaze then they gone think you scared, you not scared...we not scared", sometimes he said it as if he was trying to convince himself. But it was different for me because I wasn't scared.

The bell rang, they broke their glares at me and went their separate ways. I guess we were beefing but that's how it goes, I inherited Dudley's beef but I didn't know what that meant.

This wasn't the shit I was willing to die for, the dope game and being a kingpin was Dudley's life not mine. But I guess it became mine by affiliation. I had been losing my mind recently, I was slipping off the thin rope between maintaining and complete insanity. I could see in the eyes of the lowlifes and my peers that they had long fallen. I continued my day as usual, passing them in the hallways every now and then. Always glancing at each other, there was no choice I could see the hatred in his eyes and I knew he didn't care for me. But that was fine to me because I didn't care about him either. We are both fuming, glared at one another in a match but I knew how it would end.

It's kill or be killed. For some reason since I started living with my mother, every day and night of my life felt like survival of the fittest.

We were set up to bring each other down. "What's been up with you?" Asked Anastasia, nudging me, "You look like something on your mind". The cafeteria sound tore through my silent mind, I shrugged turning my attention to a concerned Anastasia. "Don't lie to me" She countered, glaring at me, "I can see it in your eyes, Quinton". "I think those boys killed Dudley" I admitted, glancing at the table on the far east of the cafeteria, "They been mugging me and watching me...I'm sure they did it". She stood up abruptly, sitting next to me and placed her hands on my face, making me look into her eyes. "Don't be think nothing stupid Quinton" Whimpered Anastasia, her eyes sad and voice brittle, "Nothing good comes from vengeance". But it wasn't my fault, the demons were calling to me and the darkness inside me was swallowing me whole. Anastasia was still my moonlight but her demons were devouring her too. I could see it in her dull marble-like eyes, even her smile had lost its shine and her laugh no longer seemed to reach the heavens.

Everyday it seemed to rain since she stopped laughing and I supposed the angels were crying for Anastasia.

She had lost weight but not in a sickly manner, she just slowly started to look and sound less like the Anastasia I met in elementary school. I stared into her eyes, we were falling apart and both of us knew it. Anastasia was the only one to push herself up and snatch me back to reality. The world feels lonely but her voice reaches me. "Ain't this cute". Her hands dropped from my face, I looked up to see a tall muscular boy standing over us and smirking down at us, "Cute couple". I stood up slowly, pulling my pants up on my waist and looked him in the eyes, "What you trying to do?". Anastasia stood up, putting her hands against my chest and stood between us, "Let's go Quinton". "Yeah Quinton, why don't ya'll go?" Laughed the boy. "What you over here for dawg?" I hissed, cutting my eyes, "Why you fucking with me?". The smile was wiped off his face, I pushed Anastasia to the side and stepped into his face. It was a stand off, time seemed to slow down as we both stood challenging each other. The cafeteria was still loud, people carrying on with their lunches and conversations.

I thought he'd never swing, almost contemplating the strike and moved in time to swing back.

The cafeteria erupted as the boy tackled me to the floor. Blow for blow as we rolled on the floor. "Break it up!". The principal rushed in, snatching me off the boy as the police officer grabbed my accomplice and glared at us both. "I'm surprised at you Quinton" Gasped Mr.Tarumi, shaking his head as he led me out of the cafeteria. I shrugged, rolling my eyes and wiping the blood from my lips. "What's going on with you?" He asked, looking down at me, "It's like your crying for help?". I looked up at him, glaring daggers and snatched away from him, "Man, leave me alone..He started that shit". "Watch your mouth" Growled Mr.Tarumi, cutting his eyes, "I'm asking cause I'm worried about you. I seen your records and I've been watching you. You spiraling out of control, son". "Those records don't know shit about me and neither do you" I hissed, glaring at him, "Stop talking to me like you can do something for me...you can't just write me up and suspend me so I can go". He sighed, shaking his head as he pulled the notepad out of his suit jacket pocket, "Son you taking the wrong path".

I scoffed watching as he scribbled on the note before snatching it from him and walking back to the cafeteria.

"You got suspened?" Questioned Anastasia, standing in the doorway with my backpack. I nodded, taking my backpack and she smiled, "We got suspended". She told me she never liked being at school without me, I honestly didn't like being here without her either but then again I didn't like being anywhere without her. I laughed, nodding and draped my arm around her shoulders, "Let's go". Our paths crossed with the same boy, his left eyes swollen and lip busted like mine. "Imma be seeing you nigga" He hissed, pointing at me. I nodded and shrugged, "Bet nigga". Anastasia elbowed my side gently, I looked down at her and her eyes watered, "Stop it".

I wished that I could for her sake but it was too late and I was too far gone. I got caught up in the lifestyle.