Look at me what do you see? Do you see me as I am or as you think I should be or by what I show or how I talk or what I make you believe. What do you see when you look at me? When you quickly glance my way? What do you see when I listen? What do you see when I'm deep in thought? What do you see in me? I know what you see. You see a girl. You see someone blank of expression. You see me smile. You see me laugh. You see me when I'm over come with passion for the topic we talk about. You hear me as wise or foolish. You see me care. You see me as caring. How do I know I have been told this. The question is not what you see but what you don't. It's what I see when I see my reflection or a picture. I see me for what I am. I am broken. I am a hypocrite. I am imperfect. I am hurting. I am breaking more than I thought I could. I am weak. I see what you haven't. I see the hours of trying my hardest to think of a way to be what you want. I see the the nights I spent crying on the ground in my closet cause I didn't want to worry anyone. I see myself smiling thinking when was the last time I was truly happy. I see me as a broken and unwanted leftover china doll hoping that you won't see. That's the thing is I hope and hope that you won't see this me. I hope you won't see me as I am or as I see myself. I see myself fat, hurting, a failure, a mistake, a screw up, ugly, mean, stupid, and most of all I see myself as broken. That's what I don't show. I don't show my hurt. I don't show my pain. I don't show my tears. I don't show my anger. Why? It's simple isn't it? I don't show those things cause that isn't what you want to see. I don't show them because someone has it worse. But if you look closely and you have to really want to would you see it? That's not the question it really is would you care?
