When you ask "how are you?" You don't really want to know. You don't care. You don't want an honest answer you want an easy one. You don't want to hear I've been doing horrible. You don't want to know I've been crying myself to sleep. You don't care that when you don't want to talk to me it makes me cry because I feel irrelevant. I know I'm irrelevant and you don't want me around. You don't want to hear about how I need it to stop. I want it to stop. How I check my phone every couple minutes waiting to see if someone anyone wants to talk to me or answer. You don't want to hear that I am so terrified that people will forget me that it keeps me up at night. You don't want to know that I'm trying so hard to be happy to make someone anyone happy that I'd drop everything if someone needed me for once. You don't want to hear that every time I want to talk to someone I don't because I know I'm being self absorbed. You don't want to hear about how I'm so scared that you will see right through me happy face and see my hurting broken soul. You can't imagine how scared it makes me when you ignore me to the point I start to cry and worry that I did something to make you hate me. You don't want to hear I feel broken. You don't want to hear that you don't want to know that. I don't want you to see through me like I'm invisible but I'd rather you forget me than me disappoint someone else again.
