Redemption

Chapter 45: Falling to Pieces

*UNEDITED*

"Help me, Jen. Please, help me."

"I can't, Harry."

"Yes, you can! Please, hurry!"

"Harry, I cannot help you anymore. I've moved on. Leave me alone!"

"Jen, I love you!"

"Harry...Harry...Harry..."

"Are you alright, honey?" Mickey asked, bringing me back into reality.

"Uh...yeah..." I coughed and sat up.

Mickey was wearing all denim. His short pink hair was slicked back and he appeared to be in the middle of makeup. I had been spending a lot of time with him lately. He tapped his powder brush and looked at me. "Who's Harry?"

"Nobody."

"Come on, sugar. Don't you lie to me. Is he a one night stand? A rendezvous? A swanky ex?"

I laughed. "Not really any of those. He was a friend...but he's out of my life now."

Mickey shook his head. "You don't dream of friends like that. Tell me about him."

I stretched my arms and stood. I walked into the kitchen and made myself a cup of coffee. "Harry and I have a rough past. He kidnapped me when I was 16." Mickey sat his brush down and looked at me intently. "I know what you're thinking. I know this is going to sound crazy, but it's the truth. Harry was trying to get back at my brother who allegedly raped Harry's sister, who, by the way, agreed to have sex with him. Anyway, Harry took me to England where I spent a couple of months living with him and his other criminal friends, all of whom I ended up liking."

Mickey stared at me in confusion. I continued. "I introduced the Bible and God to Harry, and he ended up getting saved. We fell in love. It was short winded. Harry brought me home, turned himself in to the police, and served his time. Years and years later, he found me in New York and tried to salvage what started in England. I refused to help him and then I came here...Harry is long gone, I'm sure."

Mickey was silent for a few moments. He then said, "Well, damn. I thought my relationships were screwed up."

We both laughed. Mickey continued doing his makeup as I quietly sipped my coffee.

"You should give him a chance. If he went to prison for you, then he sounds like a keeper."

I sighed. "No one would approve. He's a criminal, for crying out loud. For all I know, it really could have been Stockholm Syndrome."

"Jenny, honey. That was no disease. That was love. And who cares what people think? We're all fucked up. All I'm saying is you ought to pursue it. It never hurts to try again."

"I would, but I don't know where he is now. It's over."

Mickey finished his contour and started on his eyes. "So, what are you gonna do about Frankie?"

I laughed. "Oh my goodness. She's crazy! I need to fire her, honestly. Maybe I should look into doing things on my own."

"That would be good. I actually know of an upcoming audition you might be interested for."

I perked up. "Really? What is it?"

"It's a Paramount film about women in the 60s. It highlights the struggles of what it was like to be a housewife with no say. I think you'd be great for any of the roles."

"How did you hear about this?"

"Let's just say I know some people."

I laughed and thanked Mickey. He wrote down the information for me as I got dressed.

"Man, I really need to do my laundry. I think I'm gonna go to the laundromat. You need anything washed?"

"Nah. I do my own laundry. I appreciate it, though."

I grabbed my laundry basket and headed downstairs. I was in the middle of pouring detergent when a woman walked up to me.

"Excuse me, miss?"

"Yes?" I asked. The woman was old enough to be my mom. She wore a casual t-shirt and jeans.

"My name is Carol. I've been living here for a while, but I just got plugged into a church a few blocks away. We're having a worship rally tonight and I'm handing out flyers." She handed me a neon yellow paper. "It's a floater that starts at 6 if you're interested. Are you religious?"

I thought for a moment. "Yes, I am...but I haven't exactly been to church in a while."

She smiled tenderly. "Oh, that's alright. No judgment here, sweetie. We'll have about 20 pastors there tonight if you need someone to talk to."

I looked over the flyer. I really needed to get back in touch with God. I mean, He's kept me safe. I'm still here because He's never left my side. I looked up. "I'll be there. Thank you."

Carol gave me a hug and carried on. I started my clothes and headed back upstairs. I told Mickey about the encounter.

"Do you wanna come with me tonight?" I asked.

Mickey shook his head. "You know I'm not into that Jesus mumbo jumbo...thank you anyways."

I showed up to the church that evening. As soon as I saw the building, I was overcome with the Holy Spirit. I could hear the music from yards away. The church parking lot was full and the lobby was occupied by all sorts of different people. That's one thing I'll say about California: it's full of diversity. The sanctuary contained a mixture of pews and chairs. I found the nearest available chair and sat down. I observed the people around me. Some were talking, some on their phones, but most were completely emerged in the worship. The stage had mellow blue lights illuminating the band. There were two drummers, two bassists, an acoustic and electric guitar, keys and piano, and plenty of singers. There were three screens with the song lyrics displayed. I noticed the pastors around the room because they were all wearing neon green shirts. The altar was constantly visited.

The music was beautiful and anyone could tell that the praise team was in unconditional love with the Lord. I closed my eyes and listened to the harmonious vibes coming through my ears.

All our hope is in You, all our hope is in You
All the glory to You, God, the light of the world

Jesus Messiah, name above all names
Blessed redeemer, Emmanuel
The rescue for sinners, the ransom from Heaven
Jesus Messiah, Lord of all  

The chorus was repeated four or five times. I felt a tear roll down my cheek. Several songs played before I finally stood and joined in the worship. When Francesca Battistelli's Holy Spirit came on, I lost it. I fell to my knees and sang my heart out. Someone came up to me and rubbed my back. They whispered in my ear, "God loves you, but you already know that. He's never left your side. He needs you to be strong, for Him. This world will try to tear you down and convince you that sin is okay. Don't believe it. Be strong, Jen."

I opened my eyes to see who was talking to me, but no one was there when I turned around. I stood to my feet and frantically searched around the sanctuary. I recognized no one. I left the church shortly after.

On my way home, I called Frankie. She picked up after about 17 rings.

"Helloooooo?" she answered, obviously drunk.

"Frankie? You do realize it's a Wednesday night, right? Why are you drunk?" I heard some giggling and shushing, but nothing I could understand. "Frankie? Frankie, it's Jennifer."

"Oh! Hi, Jenny, girl, what's up??"

I sighed. "Frankie, you're fired." I said hastily as I hung up and turned my phone off. When I eventually made it home, it was almost 11 o'clock. I immediately went to sleep.

The next day, I woke up super early and called the number Mickey left me. I scheduled my audition for later that day.