Based off of: Bathtub by The Front Bottoms
Prompt: Tyler is sad, but Josh is unknowingly keeping him afloat.
A/N: I wanna dedicate this to crisscRoss- because they inspired me to write this. Hope you like the plot twist...
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And all of a sudden, he's scared. He's afraid that when the hot water hits his skin, his legs will give out,–that the heat the water claims to hold will easily melt away everything that he's put together in order to separate who he pretends to be from who he really is.
He braces himself as he turns the handle, his body almost flush with the tiled wall as he waits for the water to warm up. And then he stands under the shower head and he prays for a minute. He prays that something will ease the unnerving shakes that have possessed his knees or that he'll soon be able to ignore the urge to scrub and scrub at his skin until it bleeds, because it's only ever meant to just convince himself that he's coming clean. But all he really wants is to just forget and ignore who he used to be.
Why can't anyone understand? That kid is never coming back.
His bottom lip has been caught by his teeth, but carbon dioxide is exiting his body steadily. There is air inside of his lungs and it's keeping him afloat, and his unexpected, newfound strength doesn't falter when he feels the curtain brush against his bicep, a new pair of feet appearing behind his, because he knows that it's only Josh. And he's thankful for that.
"Did I ever tell you that my grandpa was in the mafia?" Josh asks, reaching for the bar of soap. He only asks because he knows that it's going to distract Tyler and a distraction is exactly what he needs.
"No way, he's like, the nicest guy I know," Tyler replies, looking over his shoulder with raised eyebrows.
"There's always more to people than what you'll ever know," Josh states, almost sighing as if he knows that fact all too well. And he does. But Tyler doesn't catch on. He never does.
And Josh doesn't know if he'll ever figure out that he can see straight through him, but until then, he'll have no choice but to just watch Tyler struggle to keep everything under wraps.
"You know, I don't even know where my whole family's from," Tyler shrugs, letting his eyes flutter shut as Josh's soapy hands find themselves upon his shoulders.
Josh hums. It's definitely out of the blue and it's a bit of a reach to say it relates to Josh's addition to the slow-moving conversation, but Josh was always alright with anything and everything that has, is, and will ever fall out of Tyler's mouth.
"But I got, like, this stereotypical temper," Tyler continues, his head hanging low. His brown eyes follow the trail of soapy water as it slips down the drain.
"What does that even mean?" Josh inquires with furrowed eyebrows. He takes the smallest step forward, bringing his hands to rest on Tyler's hips.
Tyler turns, "it means that I don't know where I got this temper from. Maybe my mom, maybe my dad. I don't know. But I cannot shake it," he sighs.
"Josh?" Tyler whispers and Josh's expression softens as the muscles in his face relax.
"Yeah?"
There's a lump in his throat and he kind of just wants to run, maybe,–or drive his car maybe. But he tries to swallow as much of the lump as he can so that he can continue.
"Can you feel that?" He says, linking their fingers together. And Josh is confused.
He's confused because he feels a lot of things, but he's not sure of what thing Tyler is referring to.
"Feel what?" He asks, noticing a slight change in the water's temperature. It's slowly cooling, but it's still warm.
"My heart. I-It's beating really fast," Tyler says and he's right, and Josh can not only feel it, but he thinks he can hear it.
"It is," he nods, licking his lips. Tyler is a little closer, now, too, his warm breath fanning over the bottom half of Josh's face.
"You do that," he smiles softly, his cheeks sporting a new, pale pink colour, "you make me feel alive,–you make me want to stay alive."
There's a feeling. An unfamiliar feeling. And it surges through Josh's body and it starts in his chest and travels all the way to his toes and his eyes can't stray from Tyler's lips for some stupid reason and he knows that he looks like an idiot, but he doesn't know what to say.
"I love you so much," is all he can manage, even though he knows Tyler is already very aware of that.
"I-I know. I love you, too," Tyler gulps, bringing his hand up to the side of Josh's face. He expects the skin beneath his hand to be rough and stubbly and it is, but when he blinks, it's suddenly smoother. So he blinks again, but when he opens his eyes, there's no Josh.
Instead, the water has gone cold and he's on his knees, and Josh's hazel eyes have been replaced with the same blue tiles Tyler had pressed himself against when he'd first stepped in. And a knock on the door startles him, but he's too dazed and confused to reply.
"Tyler? Are you okay in there?"
It's Josh. His voice is slightly muffled, but Tyler's ears pick it up and he's so glad to hear him.
"Y-Yeah," he calls out, pushing the confusion as far away as he possibly can before attempting to bring himself back to his feet. He manages, but when he hears the door handle jiggle, he instinctively reaches for the bar of soap, just in case.
"Okay. Just making sure," he laughs on the other side of the door, tucking his hands into the front pockets of his jeans.
And Tyler's washing his hair with soap.
