The Date: Connor Franta

15: "oh."

warning: theres a lot of cussing in this one.

"Just 2 minutes."

"Okay, I'm sorry." He paused. "I know what I did was a douche move but I'm sorry. I can't even stand the awkward tension whenever we're in the same room. I just want to let you know that you're a really cool friend and I guess we can start over... As friends? Whatever you like... I mean. It's up to you. I just don't want to keep having this silent treatment with you. We can both move on from this and we can find someone else to date."

"We both know what happens when we're friends Connor."

"What?" He asked.

"We both know that when we're friends, we get into arguments and we're going to regret it, then we're going to make up and apologize, and it's going to happen again and again. I'm just sick of it. Might as well just keep this, whatever this is, as it is. Sure, we can be friends. But no, I won't forget all the shit that happened months ago."

"Then what are you saying?"

"If I'm friends with you," I paused. I couldn't say the next line. If I'm friends with you, it'll just fill my thoughts of us dating. Us dating and becoming friends afterwards isn't a good thing. It just causes more bad things. I don't want to be friends with you. I can't. Like I would say that.

"Then...?" He waited for a reply. I can't do it. I can't say it.

"Nevermind." I shook my head and opened the door. Again, he closed it on me. I'm really having a hard time trying to get away from this.

"I'm not letting you get into this car until you tell me what you were going to say."

"I forgot what I was going to say." I said. "I lost my train of thought."

"No you didn't. You're just saying that to get this over with. Just say it."

"See, this is why we fucking fight, because you won't let me do what I want to do." I snapped at him.

"Because you're fucking stubborn. If you weren't stubborn then this wouldn't happen."

"Fine, you want to know what I was going to say? Since you wanted to know so fucking bad, I just don't want to be 'friends' with you. It's as simple as that. I don't want to become 'friends' with someone I dated. Call me an immature person, I don't care. I just can't do that. Take note or just understand that I'm done seeing or hearing you. It's the benefit for both of us." I immediately regretted the words that came out of my mouth because I saw emotion in his eyes. I never, never make anyone upset.

"I was just trying to apologize for the shit that I did. I'm done trying to work this out with you. You're so fucking stubborn. So, a big good luck to you and to the slut inside of you that doesn't want to be 'friends' with boys she dated. Try getting on through life with that attitude. You won't go fucking far." He said, turning the other way and leaving. I opened my car door and before he could go on and leave me with a bullshit comeback like he did before, I closed my car door hard.

"You know, you really need to learn how to fucking stop putting my past in your sentences because I'm really getting tired of it. You don't need to remind me of what I did because I'm clearly aware of what I've done and I'm trying to get over it. I don't give a fuck if you don't care but I just find that you're the worst person I've ever dated by far. All of this would have never happened if you called me a slut. So I'm sorry if I fucking ruined your life because I'm a 'slut.' I never knew it would affect you." I said, walking closer to him.

"You really need to know that I don't care because I really don't." He mocked.

"If you don't care then why would you bring it up? It's not your life, right?" I asked.

"I can bring it up because that's what our argument is about. You being immature because you don't want to be friends with who you've dated." He said.

"This is our dating problem and ours only. Bringing up my past isn't okay for you to fucking do. I regret that and I was hoping to get over it but you brought every bad memory that happened within my life." Mood swings were taking over me and I wasn't aware of the shit coming out of my eyes and my mouth. A flash of guilt appeared in his eyes and he looked concerned.

There is no way I'm crying over a situation like this. Hold your fucking tears in Anna. He's not worth it.

The tears dropped out of my eyes and now I don't know what the fuck is going on with me.

"Anna I'm sorry." He said. I shook my head and walked to my car.

---

Oh.

I just cried over my problems in front of a douchebag.

Oh.

No biggy.

Oh.

I'm the biggest idiot.

Oh.

"Anna I'm home!" Andrea called.

Like I care that she's home. I really don't give a fuck about anything at the moment.

"In my room." I sighed. She ran up the stairs and belly flopped onto my bed.

"That party was fucking amazing."

"Mhm." I said, scrolling through my laptop.

"You okay? I saw Connor come back in the house looking depressed or some shit."

"I'm good."

"No you're not. Wanna talk about this?" She asked.

"No. I'm done with that asshole."

"You cried, didn't you?" She knows me so well.

"Yeah, it's whatever. I'm done with him."

"Like that's possible. We both know that everytime you say that, you end up becoming friends with him."

"I'm done with him this time. It's official."

I hope it's official.

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short chap before i go to class!