A Woman's Place is the House and the Senate

Menopausal Little Insect -Part 1 of 3- [Risa/Leni]

Risa and Leni had been dating for quite a while, but this was Risa's first time to be invited to join Leni in a trip to Naga. Official word for the trip was for oversighting functions for the Barangay Health Workers law, but both of them knew of the other reason.

Yet the day hadn't been going as well as Risa hoped it would.

Any attempts to get physically close to her were met with shrugs and when she didn't she could feel that her heart wasn't really in it. Otherwise, Leni kept talking about her and Jesse until the sun went down and she had to do some paperwork.

With Leni buried into her work and her three daughters staying back in Manila, Risa took the chance to tour herself around the Robredos' home to clear her mind. Pictures of the family adorned the walls. Mostly the children, but also quite a lot of just Leni and Jesse all smiles during their travels.

Risa then went up to Leni's bedroom and seeing the door open decided to let herself in. The queen-sized bed with the plush comforters looked so inviting and cosy, and the decorations simple and tastefully done.

Then she saw Jesse's polo shirt and denim pants hanging on their door, and even more of his things based on what she could see from the half-open closet door.

A wave of anxiety dawned on Risa and so did the urge to throw up. Constant reminders surrounded her that Jesse still had the biggest share of the heart-shaped pie.

That, coupled with how Leni's becoming more and more distant towards her as time went on, Risa won't even dare to open anything else anymore.

Leni always told her she loved her, but at the back of Risa's mind, the nagging thought of Leni constantly comparing her to Jesse marched on. She knew she's not him, and never will be.

She's simply a band-aid to tide Leni over until she heads to the afterlife to join him again.

No matter how many times Leni told her she's different, that she won't ever compare her to him, her brain kept telling her otherwise in a voice that eerily reminds her of Miriam Defensor Santiago. "You're just a menopausal little insect to their 30-year love story. You don't deserve her. Not now. Not ever."

Risa feared for the day Leni would wake up one day and tell her "I'm sorry, pero nagkamali ako. Di ko pala kaya." and walk out the door.

But her thoughts were interrupted when Leni called her. "Risa?"

A now very pale and nauseous Risa let out a weak laugh and fidgeted right in front of her. "Huh? O, Leni, diyan ka pala."

Leni stood there a concerned look on her face. "Ma, ang putla mo. Okay ka lang?"

Suddenly, Risa bolted out of the room and down to the living room without saying a word, leaving Leni standing there confused of what's happening.